Denial

Damon's POV

It started as a whisper.

Hardly, only the shadow of a sensation which ought not to be.

My chest tightened every time Aria stepped in the room, a strange pulling sensation that my mind denied, but my wolf would not overlook. I told myself it was pity. Maybe curiosity. Anything other than what it really was. Because the truth? The truth was dangerous.

She was an omega. Broken. Betrayed. A warning of all that was flimsy and messy about the world I had walled myself in.

And yet each time that her scent passed by, sweet and warm as rain-dipped pine, I forgot.

The tension was in the council chamber that morning. Maps were spread on the table, bleeding from being touched. The rogues were becoming more daring. We had lost two of the border scouts last night, and I wanted answers.

"Double the patrols over to the east line," I was to say. "After midnight, no one walks alone. And if they attack once more, I want blood."

"Yes Alpha." My beta, Rowan said, bowing his head

I attempted to concentrate, but my wolf was not calm. His growl made its way in me, deep and jealous. 

She's close.

Then and there she appeared as if she had been summoned, she opened the door.

Aria.

She was wavering in the door, with a tray of papers, which someone had sent me to sign. Today her hair was loose, and straining down her shoulders like black silk. She was not huge in this house of predators, but she did not cower. Not anymore.

"Alpha," said she, and her eyes dropped. "I have been instructed to make you these reports."

I felt her voice stroking me in a way her voice is not supposed to do. I took the papers out of her, with caution, trying not to touch her fingers. The brief contact burned.

"Send someone else next time," I said angrily, and there was a sharp cutting with my tongue.

Her head was raised as some astonishment passed over her face. "I didn't mean to..."

"I said, send someone else."

Silence. Then a quiet nod. "Yes, Alpha."

She left, and a part of me was snapped together. My wolf snarled in protest. You hurt her.

I ignored him.

I had to.

The remainder of the day I threw myself into work - drills, patrol reports, negotiations. To submerge the anarchy within me.

But she was everywhere. The corridors of the house, the kitchen gardens. There, ever present, silent but unnoticed.

I said to myself that she was a diversion that I could not afford. My pack was at war. Tenderness was not my desire to my wolves. I had lived years to be the Alpha no one was courageous to go against--and now, a weak girl with haunted eyes would rip me apart.

By dusk, my temper was thin. Rowan found me in the courtyard, giving instructions to the fighters.

"There has been movement along the southern border, I have seen it," he said. "Scouts are at this moment inquiring."

"Send reinforcements," I answered. "And tell the healers to be prepared."

He nodded and left. I remained, gazing at the blooming gold into the night, at the horizon. My instincts prickled. Something was wrong.

Then the alarm bells rang.

"Rogues!"

The scream was heard throughout the compound, and growls and the collision of steel were heard. I shifted mid-stride, and my wolf tore through the surface as I ran to the border. Trees were smeared ahead in panther shadow and green. The air was stinking with blood and smoke.

We struck the clearing - chaos up to the eyebrows. My men fought bravely, with their claws gashing, with their teeth penetrating the flesh. However, in a corner of my eye, I noticed something that left my blood cold.

Aria.

She was there -- in the midst of it all, taking a little pup to her bosom, and protecting him from the fangs of a rogue.

My heart stopped.

"Aria!" I roared.

The rogue sprang before she had a chance to react. I was faster. My nails tore it in the throat, and blood spurted all around. The monster fell at her feet.

Aria fell, trembling, and still had the pup in her arms.

What the hell did you think you were about? I grumbled, taking her by the shoulders. "You could've been killed!"

Her lips trembled. "He was not in alone...he was weeping...I could not leave him..."

"That's not your job!"

Her eyes filled with tears, and she did not turn her head. "And whose job is it, then? To watch a child die?"

Words, even more than claws, strike. I stood there a moment and could do no more than stare. Everything I attempted to hide was portrayed in her eyes; wide, shining, fear and defiance filled.

She was shaking, dirty and bloody, but she stood up. My anger was turned into something else, something I did not want to say.

I released my grip; my voice was now ruder. "You do not know how dangerous it is. These rogues don't hesitate. They would've torn you apart."

She gulped, and was still holding the pup. "Maybe. But before I have been pulled to pieces, Alpha. I survived that, too."

The phrases sliced me like a knife. Then I saw it, not a weakness, not fragility, not strength. Uncooked, silent and painfully true.

Fear crept into my body for the first time in years. Not for myself. For her.

The battle ended soon after. The rogues threw themselves in the forest, and left corpses. My warriors drove together the wounded. I stood out as Aria assisted the healers in attending to the injured pup. She had shaky hands, but even-handed.

My wolf pawed within me impatiently. She's brave, he said. She's ours.

"Enough," I said to myself shaking my head.

Rowan came, with blood and dirt upon his face. "We lost three, Alpha. The border are secured for now."

I nodded stiffly. "Good. Burn the bodies. Tighten the patrols."

He was indecisive, looking in the direction of Aria. "She saved that pup's life."

"I saw."

"She could've died."

"I saw that too."

Rowan looked at me, in the way that needed no words. Then he went, and I was left to myself in the dying light.

My eyes met her once more, as she sat by the fire with the rescued child. The light touched her face, and deepened the fatigue in it. I was caught looking up, and she was looking down. We did not move either a moment.

Then she nodded a little, in a non-grateful, non-apologetic way. Something else. Understanding.

I turned aside before she should notice the tremor in my hands.

I flung the door open back in my quarters and pitched against it, my chest heaving up too quickly. The way I saw myself in the mirror was a stranger with his wild eyes, his jaw set, his veins blazing with a heat that I could not put out.

"What are you doing?" I muttered to myself.

I had fought wars, enemies and even my own blood. Nothing... nothing had ever moved me like this girl.

And my wolf awoke again, so deep and sure. 

Mate.

The word hit like a blow. I stood still, shaking my head. "No. I won't accept it."

But my wolf growled, and with conviction. 

You already have.