Chapter 11

Raven POV

I can’t believe she just said that. Did she really… Is that… I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I knew I should never have said anything to Sara about the fact that I had considered having sex with Jacob before I left. Now Sara is in there thinking that I… Oh shit, is that what Jacob thinks is going to happen? The feel of Jacob’s hand on the small of my back snapped me out of my shocked state. “We should get going. Our dinner should be almost done.” He said, rubbing his hand up and down my back. “You do still want to go?” He asked when I didn’t say anything or move.

“Yeah, sorry,” I said as I turned and started towards the car.

After pulling out of the driveway, Jacob glanced at me a few times before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He reached over the center console, took my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing my palm. “You do realize that I am not expecting anything like what Sara was implying. Tonight is like all the other nights that we have been together. We don’t do anything that you are not 100% comfortable with.”

“I know,” I said, smiling at him.

About ten minutes later, we were stepping into a small cabin to the delicious smell of homemade lasagne. The place was cozy. There was a small kitchen space with an island. Across from the kitchen was a brick wood-burning fireplace with a flat-screen TV on one side of it and a large, comfy-looking couch facing them. Straight across from the main door was a hallway that, by the looks of it, led to two bedrooms and a bathroom. Jacob went straight to the oven, turned it off and pulled out the dish. “We just need to let that sit for a bit before we can cut it.” He said as he turned back to face me.

I hadn’t moved from the doorway. For some reason, I was nervous. I didn’t know why. No, that’s a lie. I’m nervous because I can’t stop thinking about what Jacob might be expecting tonight. I know, I know he said that he just wants to spend time with me. But is he just telling me that so that I don’t do what I’m doing right now, driving myself crazy over thinking things? I was so lost in my wild thoughts that I never noticed that Jacob had walked back over to me until I felt his fingers slide into my hair at the back of my head. I felt his warmth seep into me as he palmed the side of my neck and glided his thumb along my jaw, using it to tip up my chin. He rested his forehead against mine as he looked into my eyes.

“Stop it. I can see those wheels turning, trying to figure out what I’m expecting. I am not expecting anything. I will say that over and over again. As many times as I need to for you to believe me. All I want to do is spend time with you.” He kissed the tip of my nose and took my hand.

“Now let’s pick a movie while we wait for dinner to rest.” He said, giving a gentle tug on my hand. Jacob picked up the remote, sat down and pulled me onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his chin on my shoulder. “So what are you in the mood for?”

We had found a comedy that neither of us had seen and ate one of the best dinners that I had ever had. By the time the credits started to roll, I was leaning against Jacob with his arm around me resting on my hip. It was at that moment that I realized what I was expecting from this night. I wanted to be with Jacob. Even if this week was all we ever had, he was the one that I wanted to be my first.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I sat up, swung my leg over Jacob and straddled his lap. This whole week, all we had done was hold hands and have a few small kissing sessions here and there. The first night in the boat had been the most heated. I don’t know if Jacob did it so that I wouldn’t feel pressured or if he thought that was the easiest way for him to make sure he didn’t lose control of himself. Either way, I wanted more. I wanted him to lose control. Deep in my soul, I knew that no matter how excited he gets, if I say stop, he will. But I’m not going to say it. I have made up my mind. I want this.

I slowly leaned forward and cautiously touched my lips to his. Jacob slid his hand to the side of my neck like he had done earlier by the door, tilted his head and deepened the kiss just a little. I started to act on instinct. I placed my hands on Jacob’s chest and slowly slid them down. I outlined the curve of his pecs. Then moved lower to his abs. Two, four, six, eight, I counted in my head until I reached the hem of his T-shirt. As my fingertips brushed his warm, almost scorching skin, he made that cute little growly purr noise that he had made the night of our first kiss before pulling away to look me in the eye.

“Raven.” He growled, making my name sound like the sexiest word in the world. Keeping my eyes locked with Jacob’s, I slid my hands up. Jacob leaned forward and lifted his arms, allowing me to remove his shirt. I took my fill of this perfect show of male muscle. I know I don’t have anything real to compare it to, but I’ve seen enough advertisements to know something good when I see it. This time, as I glided my finger over his skin, I followed them with my eyes. The light dusting of black hair that covered his chest tickled my fingers, or maybe it was those tingles again. The ones that I have been feeling every time I touch him.

As I reached for his belt buckle, he encircled my wrist with his large hands. “Raven, what are you doing? I told you that I don’t expect anything.”

I looked up and met his gaze. “Please, Jacob.” I pleaded. “I want to do this… with you.”