Chapter 40: Lucas

 

I had loaded Sutton up into the truck and started the long drive home as soon as possible. It was a quiet drive despite my attempts to get Sutton to speak to me. I gave up after half an hour. I tried to focus my mind on the Dawn Stalker issue.

Things were escalating quickly. I would have to confront Alpha Anders about his actions. Ordering a team to cross my border after I denied permission is an act of disrespect that I couldn’t let go. And if I didn’t act, he would know I was hiding something. He’d push harder to confirm it was Sutton. That couldn’t happen until she was ready to accept me as her mate.

“What did Jaden have to dispose of?” Sutton said quietly.

I wasn’t expecting the question. I didn’t realize she had heard the conversation with the state she was in at the time. Regardless, I didn’t know how to answer.

“It was the Dawn Stalker prisoners, wasn’t it?” she pressed.

“Yes,” I said somberly.

“So, I’ve killed them too.”

“No,” I replied quickly. “Don’t do that, Sutton. Don’t carry the weight of their lives when you have done nothing wrong. Anders killed them. He killed them when he sent them on that mission. He killed them when he disrespected our boundaries.”

“Then why did you have to order their deaths?” she asked.

I exhaled sharply. “Because the lycan who attacked you was marked,” I explained. “He had a mate. She would have felt his death. If he hadn’t been mated, we could have covered things up — made it seem like he never made it this far or that he was still out here looking. We could use the ambiguity to send the others home and make Anders think he had an advantage. At least for a while. That’s not an option anymore. Whether you’re here or not, he’s forced my hand.”

“I see,” she said, but her tone felt empty.

“Don’t think about any of that right now. I’ll take care of it. Let’s just get you home.”

I reached over and took her hand but she pulled it away.

“I don’t have a home,” she said flatly. “I don’t belong anywhere.”

“Sutton…”

“I’m not human. So even if my family didn’t think I was dead, I can’t go back there. And when I’m with the packs, either I get hurt or everyone else does. So I obviously don’t belong here either,” she stated. “And none of that even matters because no matter where I go, everyone just lies to me anyway. Just let me go, Lucas. Then you can put all this behind you and move on with the family you chose.”

Gripping the wheel, I pulled to the side of the road. I calmed Rhonen as best I could, but I was struggling enough myself. I took a few deep breaths before I spoke.

“I’ve never lied to you, Sutton,” I told her. “Daisy lied. I never promised her anything about becoming my mate, let alone that I would reject my fated mate for her.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have had a chi…”

“Jack is not my son,” I interrupted.

“He looks just like you,” Sutton said bitterly.

“He looks just like his father,” I corrected. I exhaled heavily, my hands still holding tightly to the steering wheel. I stared out the windshield in front of me. “Jaden wasn’t originally going to be my Beta.”

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Sutton finally turn to look at me.

“Who?”

“Emlyn,” I replied. “My cousin. Lara’s and Rodney’s son.”

“They never said they had a son.”

“They wouldn’t,” I said. “It’s too painful for them. For all of us. We grew up together. We were really close. After my parents were killed, he was the first to support my plan for justice. He was the one who convinced me to become Alpha. He was a good man. My best friend. He was Daisy’s mate. He’s Jack’s father.”

“What happened to him?” Sutton asked.

“He died,” I answered succinctly. “Because of me. A month before I officially challenged Alpha Morgan, one of our hideouts was compromised. There was an attack. Emlyn died saving my life that night.”

“I’m sorry, Lucas,” Sutton said, putting a hand on my arm. I grabbed it. Holding on to her touch.

“Daisy was still pregnant,” I continued. “Emmy never got the chance to meet his son. He died because of me. Because of my vendetta. I will carry that guilt for the rest of my life. I owed it to Jack — to Aunt Lara and Uncle Rodney — and yes, even to Daisy, to make sure Emlyn’s child is taken care of.”

“Of course you do,” Sutton replied. She squeezed my arm but then slowly pulled away. “So, a promise was made. It’s no wonder why she expects you to keep it.”

“Not that promise,” I corrected urgently. “I never once said anything close to the claims she made. I never would.”

Sutton sighed, trying to decide if she should believe me. “Why would she lie?”

“Why would I?” I turned to look her in the eye.

She gave me a look and I was reminded that if someone could think of a hundred reasons, it would be Sutton. I shook my head, dropping my hands from the wheel.

“Daisy grew up on the property next to my aunt and uncle,” I began to explain. “She’s a few years younger than us. Emmy and I didn’t pay much attention to her when we were kids, but she always seemed to have a bit of a crush on me. She even tried to kiss me once before she knew about her and Emmy. But it never happened. I was never interested in her like that. Regardless of her and Emmy’s relationship.”

“Something gave her hope, Lucas,” Sutton commented. “Did something happen between you two after your cousin’s death?”

“I barely saw her at first,” I admitted. “I went after Morgan directly after that night. Within a month, I was the new Alpha. Life was non-stop for those first few years. Then, I went home one year, and I met Jack again. He really does look just like Emlyn. I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to take care of him. So, yes, I suppose I got closer to Daisy by default. I admit that my involvement in their lives likely fed whatever ideations she had. I admit that I didn’t bother addressing them. Perhaps I felt better that my presence could alleviate her grief. I didn’t really think about it and… and I didn’t want to do anything that would cause her to keep Jack from me or my aunt and uncle.”

Sutton nodded, looking ahead stoically.

“Sutton, I never have, nor do, nor ever will have any intention of rejecting you,” I stated adamantly. “I want you and only you. You have to believe that.”

She leaned her head back against the seat, turning toward the window.

“Let’s just go,” she said softly. “I’m tired.”