Chapter 1

IRIS

The rain poured from the sky heavily, washing everything tangible away, my sanity included. My eyes stayed fixed on the headstone in front of me, my fingers tightening around the rose stem until the thorns bit into my skin. I barely registered the sting.

Water soaked through my clothes, making everything slick but I barely felt it. The only thought I could muster was that my best friend was dead. Killed by a rogue.

I was never going to hear her laugh, or complain about how hard it is being Luna of the Elderwood pack. My wolf howled inside, matching the grief that threatened to swallow me.

I didn’t hear the footsteps until they stopped beside me. The rain ceased above my head, blocked by something solid. I didn’t need to turn to know who it was.

“I miss her.” I forced out, my voice was hoarse from lack of use.

Alpha Kade released a deep sigh, then his arm wrapped around my shoulder, firm enough to let me know that I wasn’t alone.

“I know, Iris.” He murmured. “I do too. But you need to come inside, you’ll catch a cold.”

The idea was laughable really.

I didn’t deserve to live while Katrina laid cold in the ground. She was the future of our pack, she was supposed to grow old with her mate and do great things. I on the other hand was an eyesore and an outcast. The freak baby left on the borders of the pack territory.

Wasn’t much of a trade if you asked me.

Alpha Kade bumped my shoulder, snapping me out of my self loathing. I finally turned to him, my throat tightened at the sight.

His hair was a disheveled mess, his eyes sunken and his stubble had grown way past the usual. He was mourning the death of his mate but still had an entire pack to command. And still, he made sure to think of everyone else before himself.

Alpha Kade gave me a weak smile. “It’s not your fault.” He whispered, his eyes flicking down to my hand then his jaw ticked. “It’s none of our fault, Iris. You don’t need to hurt yourself to cope.”

I followed his line of view, crimson streaked down my palm, dripping down the wet soil. I tore my gaze away, swallowing hard.

“Don’t tell me how to grieve, Alpha Kade.” I whispered but the rain carried my words anyway.

He opened his mouth to respond but I spun on my heel and walked past him, straight into the pack house. Pack members were already trickling out one by one. The rites were over, they were grieving their Luna, I was grieving my better half.

I sank into an empty couch, the leather creaking under my weight. My eyes fluttered close, mostly from exhaustion, my limbs growing weaker as the seconds went by.

And when I thought I’d found a second to myself, a voice broke the silence.

“We’re going home now, Iris.”

It was small, shaken by unshed tears. I didn’t need to see to know it was Camille, Katrina’s sister. Her shuffling grated painfully on my already frayed nerves.

“Uh…” she sniffled. “Dad and I are heading back if you’re not ready. Just… don’t shut down, Iris. We’re here.”

My teeth clenched together so hard I was certain I heard a crack. I didn’t peel my eyes open, even as Camille’s footsteps retreated until I could no longer hear them.

The hall descended into silence as the last set of people finally thinned out. Only then did I let myself breathe but no matter how big a breath I took, the air itself remained frozen.

“I know she was like a sister to you,” Alpha Kade’s voice rang out and judging from the sound, he was at least a few paces away.

I chose to ignore him, focusing on my breathing.

“Iris you can’t keep yourself holed up like this.” He tried to reason with me, his footsteps getting closer. “I made sure to end the life of that pathetic rogue that dared to raise a silver dagger to my mate.”

His voice became rougher with every word he uttered. “Katrina has been avenged. We’ve found closure and I know it’s unfair but we have to keep moving… for the sake of the pack.”

The ache in my chest throbbed.

Katrina’s been avenged. Her killer was dead.

Then why did she send me that strange message the night she died… one that still made my wolf uneasy?

The question was on the tip of my tongue but I swallowed it. Alpha Kade had found closure, her family had found closure. I didn’t want to tear those wounds open over something that might mean nothing.

“Iris,” Alpha Kade said softly then sighed when he finally got the memo. “At least indulge your alpha in a drink.”

That made me crack one eye open only to catch him already staring at me. His pearly whites peeked out, glinting under the moonlight. And for some reason, my pulse stuttered.

I pushed the strange buzz and sat upright trying my best not to look fazed in the bottle in his hand. Our pack doctor's special remedy, wolfsbane diluted with potent herbs, strong enough to dull even an alpha’s senses… like I said, alcohol.

“I’m only doing this because you’re the alpha and I respect your authority.” I said, edging out of my seat as he lowered himself to the floor with a quiet chuckle.

“When have you ever seen me as an alpha, Iris?” He quizzed, amusement coating his tone despite ourselves. “You literally bullied me for as long as I can remember.”

A small smile crawled on my lips before I could stop it. He handed me the bottle and I took a big gulp, letting the scorching liquid burn the lump lodged in my throat.

I grimaced, passing it back to Alpha Kade. “That’s nasty.”

He took a swing without flinching. “It’s not that bad. You’re just a big baby.”

My brow arched. “Says the man who once cried because I stole his boots before patrol.”

He huffed out a rusty laugh, “Those were good boots.”

“You tripped into the mud five minutes later,” I shot back as the memory slipped out before I could stop it.

“Katrina laughed so hard she almost shifted.”

The name made both of us pause, Alpha Kade’s smile faltered, his gaze dropping to the bottle in his hand.

“She always did enjoy watching me suffer.”

The silence was back, but it wasn’t as suffocating as before.

My fingers fiddled with each other as I stared at the floor. I needed to tell him what had been bugging me since the news of Katrina’s death came to me last night.

“Alpha Kade,” I said while I looked up and was immediately slammed with intense blue eyes on my face. “I need to tell you something.”

A flicker of concern flashed in his eyes. “What is it?”

I brought out my phone from the back of my pocket and opened the message Katrina sent to me hours before her death. “This,” I said while reaching out the phone to him.

With a brow raised, he took it, his blue orbs searching my face before they dropped to read the message.

Silence took over for a few seconds, only to be shattered by his sharp inhale.

Alpha Kade’s eyes flashed, his hand tightened around the phone as he read the words out loud, “There’s something I need to tell you. Someone you need to be aware of, someone we all need to be aware of before it gets too late. But I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow.”

He stared hard at the screen.

I ran a hand through my hair.

“What did she want to tell me? Who was she talking about? Why do we need to be aware of this person before it’s too late?” I said as I walked back and forth, feeling a churning sensation in my gut.

Alpha Kade tracked me with his eyes. I could see the gears in his brain turning. Thinking.

I halted in my steps, my arms crossed over my chest. “Something tells me there’s more to Katrina’s death than we know.” My voice came out choked, my eyes prickling with another round of unshed tears.

Alpha Kade could see it. He stepped forward, closing the gap between us and immediately wrapping his arms around me.

He didn’t speak, but I could sense the raging energy radiating off him while I buried my face in his chest, sniffing as tears dropped down my face.

“I should have known she was in trouble. I would have saved her.”

“I told you not to beat yourself up, Iris. What’s done is done. And you’re right. There’s something fishy.” He gently pulled away, staring deep into my purple eyes. “Katrina was acting…different. The past few days before her death, she was always acting on edge, snappy, and for some reason, anxious.”

My brow furrowed.

“I tried to make her tell me what was going on with her, and she would try to brush it off, saying I was overreacting, and to be honest, I thought I was overreacting. So I took a step back.” Pain seeped into his eyes, and my heart broke for him. “If I had just pushed more. If I had insisted, if I had protected…”

“Hey,” I whispered softly. “Her death wasn’t your fault,” my hand went to his shoulder as I stared deep into his eyes. Purple clashing against blue. “Remember what you told me? You wouldn’t have known, nor would you have stopped the inevitable. What we need to do is get to the bottom of this and find out the real truth.”

We were now inches apart, and it was only when I finished speaking that I realized how close we were to each other.

We were so close that I was sure we were sharing the same breath. I could see the sprinkle of gold in the blue of his eyes. It was then I noticed his long eyelashes, the slightly crookedness of his nose…and his scent. Cedarwood and pine.

For a while, we stayed like that. I stared into his eyes and he into mine, then his gaze slid to my lips. My heart rate spiked as my eyes dropped to his too.

This is wrong.

What are you doing, Iris?

He was your best friend’s mate.

My eyes went slightly wide when he started inching closer. He would have kissed me, and I’m ashamed to say that I would have let him if the door didn't open.

Both our heads snapped to the sound, and I jerked away from Alpha Kade like I had just touched a live wire. My heart raced like a horse on the loose while I kept my face neutral, trying to act like nothing happened.

Then Ash Hawk walked in, Alpha of the Talon pack and one of Alpha Kade’s best friends.

My heart raced faster because where there was Ash, there was Ryker.

My eyes went wide in surprise as I stared at the Alpha of the Moonveil Pack. He was once the love of my life.

And had also cheated on me with my best friend, Katrina.