CHAPTER 3: A DOOMED SUMMER

ADELINE

I hate James Sullivan but I hate mum’s bear hugs more. 

There was a time I used to love them; the time when it was just me and her after dad died. Whenever she pulled me into that tight embrace, I would smell dad all over her and in a way, it felt like he was still here with us and I didn’t have to miss him too much. 

Then she came home one day, smelling entirely different. For days, I tried and failed to figure out what changed.

The new scent only grew stronger until the reason finally made itself known. It was the tall dark man I ran into in our kitchen one spring morning. He’d stayed the night and he was helping himself to breakfast from our fridge like he owned the place. 

Wallace, Mum’s first boyfriend. 

They broke up when I turned eight and it was one ugly breakup that had my mother secretly crying herself to sleep every night. I was too young to understand why she was always crying or why Wallace wasn’t lounging around our home anymore like the jobless prick he was. 

The only thing I understood was the sheer terror I felt whenever I saw my mother in tears; the fear of me being the problem especially as Wallace’s beady eyes sold him out on how much he despises me. 

It was like that with every other boyfriend she had after Wallace. It’s like a cycle:she meets someone new, dates him for a few months, gets heartbroken, repeat.

My knowledge of my mum’s active dating life grew with each new man that she showed into our home and since half—heck, all of them were major douchebags, it was pointless worrying about whether I was the problem or not. 

Now, while she lifts my huge Cello case and helps it into the car trunk with apparent glee, I wonder who the new man in my mother’s life is.

The stomach-churning smell that still lingers in the air around me after she hugged me isn’t the only tell-tale sign that she’s seeing someone new. There’s the amateurish makeup and that red high-waist skirt that she only wears on special occasions; I can tell she was with him not too long ago. 

Closing the trunk, she turns back to me and a girlish giggle leaves her blood red lips. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” I say, wanting to stay mad at her but it’s hard with the way her eyes are unashamed to show how much she’s missed me. 

“I can’t help it, I’m too excited. My baby’s spending the whole summer with me!” More giggling.

“I wouldn’t if I had a choice.” I say with a snort. 

“You don’t mean that. Think of all the things we can do together! All the fun we will have!” She interlocks our arms and grins up at me since she falls an inch shorter. My resolve cracks just a little and I almost smile. She catches it, pointing a finger, 

“Hey, is that a smile I see?”

I clear my throat and snatch my arm from her. 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, no one’s looking so go on, tell your momma how much you have missed her.” Her playful voice trails after me. 

“Whatever!” I round the car but stop halfway to jerk my head at her, puckering my lips as I take in her appearance once more. God, her lipstick is dreadful. 

“And wipe that off, it’s not your color. Sheesh, you look like a vampire.” 

She laughs at my comment before skipping towards me and this time, I throw my head back and laugh. 

As much as I want to, I can’t hate my mother. Believe me, I’ve tried. She makes it so hard to hate her when she’s just so bubbly and full of life. You’d think actively dating every single year of my life leading up to eighteen would make her neglect me and pay more attention to her boyfriends but mum was always there anyway. 

It’s not her I hate, it’s her terrible luck and bad taste in men. I hate the men who take advantage of her loneliness, the kind that has left a deep hole in her heart ever since dad died and the kind that a daughter can’t fill. 

She joins me in the car and soon we leave behind us Nexus Arts and Sciences High, its tall buildings and all of my resentments towards a certain blue-eyed devil; all that remained was my worries of how to get my life back on track while also witnessing and enduring mum getting high on her new found love. 

As if on cue, her phone vibrates on the center console in between us. Its screen brightens up with the notification of an incoming call and I had to look twice to be sure I wasn’t mistaken. The caller’s name is spiced with tons of heart emojis in all colors that makes me cringe inwardly; but that’s not even what made me look again. 

Mum’s new boyfriend’s name is James? 

Great. 

“What?” I hadn’t realized I said it out loud until I turned to my mother and saw her looking at me in concern. 

“Nothing.” I say, my mood going from 100 to—who am I kidding? My entire mood has been hanging on the scale at 0 all day. 

“Did the sound upset you?Sorry, I’ll turn it off.” 

“No, it’s fine.” 

“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine.” She argues. 

“Just keep your eyes on the road mum. I can’t spend summer in a hospital bed.” 

She grins and does a mock salute with one hand on the wheel, “Yes, ma’am.” 

After that, the phone continues to vibrate, its screen coming on and off after every few seconds. Summer break has only just begun and it’s as though the curse of that devil has started to manifest.

A doomed fate all summer because each time I think of my mother’s lover or perhaps hear her call his name, James Sullivan’s face will no doubt appear and ruin my mood. 

There is just no escaping that asshole. 

The thought plagues my mind till we arrive at our home. Mum helps me get my things out of the car and into our small apartment in the quieter parts of the city. I look cautiously around the house. It looks like there is nothing amiss but I’ve been burned more than once and I’m not willing to take any chances. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” My mother says, like she can read my mind. I feel bad for looking like I am thinking the worst of her but she just smiles and shakes her head. 

“It’s okay. That's not going to happen anymore, Addie. I’m not dating anymore so you don’t have to put up walls around yourself when you’re home.”

 I stare at her in awe of those unexpected words, “You aren’t?” 

My mother just nods, “Go freshen up. I made dinner before coming to pick you up. I’ll get it microwaved so hurry out, okay?” 

She disappears into one of the rooms in the house, leaving me standing there unable to process her words that sound so unbelievable. She’s been dating every month for the past ten years and she’s suddenly calling it quits now, just like that? 

What about James with the cringey emojis? What about my analysis of her looks and behavioral pattern once she’s dating? Did I see all of that wrong? I’ve never gotten those wrong. 

I drag my luggage into my room with the thoughts circling my head. I made myself comfortable: offloaded the things I could, took a shower and changed into a simple outfit.

I grab my phone and walk out. I have texts from Cassidy saying she’s already home and I shoot one back telling her I’m home too and also adding that thankfully I didn’t find a grown ass man in my bedroom this time. Her response is a string of laughing emojis. 

Mum has just finished setting the table when I get there. She sits down with me to eat. We eat in silence for what feels like an eternity. This is usually the time when she tells me about her day and rounds it up with an announcement of her relationship status—whether new or a breakup. 

She seems to be stalling today; I can tell by the way she’s playing with her food and it’s unlike her. It’s equally confusing because minutes ago, she told me she’s stopped dating. So what now?

The silence stretches on for too long that it’s beginning to choke me up. I place my fork on the table and stop eating.

“Okay, out with it mum.”

She looks at me sharply, “What?”

“I know you have something to say to me.” 

She breaks eye contact as she says, “I do.” 

“Then, say it. You’ve never had any problem telling me about your relationships in the past.” 

“I told you, I’m not dating anymore.” She says, more firmly this time that I am actually forced to believe her. 

“Then what are you not telling me?” I ask. My mother falls silent again and I sigh, giving up while I pick up my fork to resume eating. 

“I’m getting married.”