LOGIN“I hate you. I hate you so fucking much, James.” It’s a whisper and a paradox because your body doesn’t—shouldn’t—tingle for a boy you hate. It doesn’t threaten to combust into flames; not from rage but from the clawing need to actually give in. It shouldn’t involuntarily arch back to give access to the last person that should be invading it. “But your body doesn’t, sweet Addie. It sings for me.” To enunciate his words, to show me that he is in control and my surrender is near, my walls of defense wearing thin; he traces his teeth along the curve of my neck. My response is a shudder and his, a knowing smile. He’s won. “I’d be crazy not to hum along to the sweet melody. I’d be crazy not to f*uck you senseless, Addie.” ****** The enmity between me and the resident bad boy of Nexus high has been festering for far too long. It’s a wound that I hoped would heal once I managed to graduate high school, but not only are my grades slipping, but he also barges into my life in the most unexpected way. My stepbrother.
View MoreJust like the way my hand moved before I could control it, my legs do the same. Suddenly, I’m flagging down a taxi in front of the restaurant, I’m getting in and rambling off our home’s address to the driver. I’m trying to sit still in the backseat of the car, to calm my trembling lips and hands as the world blurs past. In the midst of the chaos going on inside my head, I find my phone, dialing Cassidy’s number. “Hey, how did it go?” She speaks as soon as she picks up her phone. “Do you think I can stay with you for a while?” I don’t say how long it will be, because I don’t know, I haven’t thought it through. I just know that I need time away from my mother. I have had enough, I have endured enough. “Of course, my parents would love to have you.” Cassidy responds in a heart beat, but ever so perceptive, she adds quietly, “Addie, are you okay? Did something happen?” “I’ll be there soon.” Is all I say before I end the call and turn off my phone so that mum’s calls won’t go through
ADELINE“Alright, talk.” I say, as I sit across from my mother in the VIP section of a fancy restaurant she picked out for us to have this ‘talk’ that we have never had before. After all these years, it only just occurred to me on my way here that mum and I talk about everything; about our favourite shows, about school, about Cello and sometimes even boys, but never about her relationships. Halfway through dinner—it was always halfway, always—she would simply say something like, “hey, I’m seeing someone new. His name is Matt and he works in finance,” and depending on what kind of mood I was in at that moment, I’d either nod or ask what went wrong with the last guy. She would just shrug and then we would go back to our meal while I mentally prepare myself to start seeing Matt who works in finance in his boxer briefs, standing in the middle of our kitchen while sipping coffee from the ‘Best Mum in the World’ mug I got for mum on Mother’s Day. So yes, it is weird sitting across from
ADELINEMy forkful of pasta stops halfway to my mouth. I blink once, twice, set the fork back on the table, open my mouth, close it, words don’t form. Her words hang in the air and half of me expects her to pluck it right back so we can keep eating like the words never left her lips and I never heard them. But as random as they are, they’re also too real, too strong to be mere words that can be thrown around and taken back at will. Marriage?“You said you weren’t dating anymore.” I finally found my voice and those are the only words I can mutter in a quiet voice “I did.” She nods, twiddling her fingers. “But you just said you’re getting married!” My voice is anything but quiet now. My mother takes a defensive stance at the change in my tone. “Yes, I’m not dating anymore because I’m getting married.” She clarifies and I scoff, unable to believe how simple-minded she is, believing that is enough explanation for the bombshell she dropped. “You go to school Addie, dating and marria
ADELINEI hate James Sullivan but I hate mum’s bear hugs more. There was a time I used to love them; the time when it was just me and her after dad died. Whenever she pulled me into that tight embrace, I would smell dad all over her and in a way, it felt like he was still here with us and I didn’t have to miss him too much. Then she came home one day, smelling entirely different. For days, I tried and failed to figure out what changed. The new scent only grew stronger until the reason finally made itself known. It was the tall dark man I ran into in our kitchen one spring morning. He’d stayed the night and he was helping himself to breakfast from our fridge like he owned the place. Wallace, Mum’s first boyfriend. They broke up when I turned eight and it was one ugly breakup that had my mother secretly crying herself to sleep every night. I was too young to understand why she was always crying or why Wallace wasn’t lounging around our home anymore like the jobless prick he was. T












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