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20TH HEARTBEAT
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๋ฐ์ดํธ:
2023-02-18 23:03:43
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The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 21ST HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI was already under the impression that after a relatively long and giddy day, itโs finally time for me to retreat to bed and dream of Xavier Rockwell. Initially, that was my plan and I know it sounds stupid to admit that but Xavier really did make me feel blissful today. However, the man upstairs seemed to have decided to extend this day when my one and only crush, Zacheus Riley showed up.โItโs already ten-thirty. What are you doing here?โ I immediately asked the guy the moment I went down to meet him. I couldnโt risk exchanging words with him from my window as if Iโm Rapunzel. While Zacheus does look like a hot prince in this modern world, I definitely do not have a long ass blonde hair and Iโm not a princess either.โHonestly, I-I donโt even know why Iโm here.โ He bantered and the strong smell of alcohol immediately invaded my nostrils.โYouโre drunk.โ I muttered and if I wasnโt very much sleepy, Iโd probably had a heart attack knowing that my crush just showed up out
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-19The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 22ND HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLโI guess this is goodbye then.โ Bursting with reluctance on the inside, I opened my mouth and spoke nervously breaking the reign of silence. Little did Jordi know, Iโm on the verge of shutting down noting that this was the end of the walk.Things between me and Xavier just went from floating on cloud nine to an awkward state. I genuinely enjoyed walking Jordi home even though he almost got ran over by a school bus when I was chasing him. I donโt know if he could read me but I was kind of hoping this wonโt be the end of our day. Unfortunately, Jordi does not look like heโs going to invite me inside their house and I do get why he does not want to. Perhaps to him, Iโm probably still an asshole and Iโm okay with it. I should really work hard on getting on his good graces.โGoodbye? What in the hell are you talking about, Xavier? Weโre still going to see each other at school tomorrow.โ Jordi chuckled which sounded adorable. I havenโt heard him release such a mirthful laugh
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-20The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 23RD HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELL Itโs already past ten-thirty in the evening and I know I should already be asleep by now. I usually donโt get a good nightโs rest whenever Iโm at home mostly because of all the shitty stuff thatโs going around this shitty place. Whenever Iโm trying to get some really good sleep, itโs either Hector and my mom are playing loud music or watching TV with loudest volume possible. Sometimes, when theyโre not fucking each otherโs brains out, theyโre fighting and screaming at each other. Nowโs probably the time or perhaps to be quite exact, itโs the only time for me to have the rest that I wanted. Not only that Hectorโs not here, my momโs also soundly asleep on the lower bunk. Seconds and minutes have passed and I just canโt put myself to sleep even when Iโve closed my eyes for a while. I donโt even know if I should count a hundred sheep just to get myself to sleep. However, I just keep on seeing Jordi and Iโm certainly aware of the fact that I havenโt stopped thinking about
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-20The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 24TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELL In light of my already existing fear of getting judged, I ended up putting the folded sketch of Jordiโs face back to my pocket. โLook what we have here!โ Nixonโs voice penetrated my eardrums and it did nothing but piss me the fuck off. This was not really the best time for them to show up. I was just about to ask Jordi out and now, it seemed to me that Iโm not going to be able to do that and it felt really horrible. โItโs the cocksucker!!!!!โ Nixon and Darren both shared a burst of laughter as if calling someone a cocksucker was the funniest thing. โYou do realize that not every gay person wants to suck your dick, right?โ Jordi bantered back and I was thrillingly surprised that he had the confidence to do so. However, I felt scared at the very same time. Jordi doesnโt know what heโs getting himself into by talking back to Nixon. โHeโs talking back, Nixon.โ Darren added from behind. โSo, youโre talking back now, shithead?โ Nixon inched his way closer to Jordi and sl
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-23The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 25TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS No one wouldโve prevented the dazzling smile thatโs blatantly painted on my face when I saw Xavier waiting for me at my own locker. I have been thinking about him throughout the entire day. No one noticed but the inner gay Jordi hidden inside the abyss of my soul wouldโve done anything thatโs there to do just to find some time to spend with Xavier. โHey, how was your day?โ Xavier inquired the moment I strut my way towards him. I tried not to look at him and proceeded to unlocking my locker. โGood. Nikkiโs still pissed but overall, I had a good day.โ I replied and I was greatly hoping to be subtle with everything thatโs going to happen from this point onward. Iโm perfectly aware that Iโm already squirming in great ecstasy deep inside but Iโm still the sane Jordi that I am. I know better than wearing my true emotions on my shoulder. I have to be calm even though I could smell Xavierโs scent. โIโm sure sheโll come around at some point.โ Xavier trailed off. โYeah, sheโs j
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-26The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 26TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSโYou saw us?โ I almost barked out loud. Thankfully, thereโs no one out of earshot by the bleachers and I was able to make all of the shocked sound and expression that I wouldโve normally do. Hearing the confession come out of Nikkiโs mouth was the only thing that I needed to make an actual conclusion. Itโs most definitely the reason why she called me a liar in the first place.โYup, by the locker. I was just on my way to find you and I didnโt mean to pry but I saw everything and when I say everything, I saw you kissing him back.โ Nikki continued. โOh my god, Jordi!!! Is that actually your first kiss?โ She squealed.โNikkiโโโOr maybe thereโs something else that youโre not telling me about. Hhmmm?!!.โโNo, it is. It is my first kiss.โ I nodded in utter defeat and I just realized that I needed to tell Nikki everything. I know we just had a fight and perhaps this was also the right time to finally tell her about me and Xavier.โXavierโs your first kiss? That fucking bastard!
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-27The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 27TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe current reign of silence inside my room has never been deafening. Usually, when I’m all by myself, I play some loud ass music just so I wouldn’t have this feeling that I’m all alone. However, having Xavier’s unwanted presence here, I really thought I don’t need to play anything but to add to my already existing disappointment, he’s been quiet the entire time ever since I pulled him here. He was just sitting at the edge of my bed with his mouth tightly shut and for the most part, I was just sitting on my swivel chair pretending as if I’m doing something on my laptop. Billie was just displayed on one corner and the eyes the Xavier drew on her looked like she’s been watching me the entire time.“Okay, I’m going to have to throw the towel here.” I began finally deciding to break the reign of silence myself. I said I don’t want to start the c
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-28The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 28TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLI fucked it up. I fucked it up big time.The words kept on echoing back and forth inside my head even after I almost beaten the shit out of Nixon for trying harassing Jordi. Thereโs utterly no room for me to deny the absolute fact that I was the worst in that moment, even far worse than Nixon to be quite exact. I just stood frozen solid and watched Jordi get bullied by the people that I know. This isnโt news and I know Iโm mainly part of the reason why theyโre so up into Jordiโs ass. I was first one who started bullying the guy and I donโt even know why I was doing that in the first place. Perhaps, I just wanted to feel good about myself because I havenโt been.Iโm entirely aware of the lingering fact that Iโm sandwiched in between. Thereโs just so much confusion and conflict that I got lost in the middle of this vast ocean. On the left side of the trench, I have my best friends Nixon and Darren. I have been friends with them for a long while and even though Iโm starti
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-03-01
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The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย THE 100TH AND FINAL HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe stars have gone out their way to align just for Xavier and I. Thatโs how Iโve been thinking for the past week ever since he agreed to be my prom date. Recovering our relationship wasnโt as easy as eating a slice of a fraudulently healthy carrot cake or travelling a path where you have already traveled before but it did happen. Xavier just lost his mom but it ended up becoming the reason for us to reconnect and come back even stronger. We bonded over losing one of the person that we love the most in the milky way.For him, it was his own mother and for me, it was my own grandmother. Itโs clearly not a similar situation but thereโs a clear path where it converges at the very center and it a very endearing moment where we just talked about how life is short and that you should live like thereโs no tomorrow. Live like thereโs no tomorrow, love intensely as if you donโt have anything else to give and laugh hard to your heartโs content; thatโs what Xavier taught me.โOh my
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 99TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSEver since the unfortunate passing of Xavierโs mom, he has been such a fun type of lad to hang out with quite surprisingly. It was initially difficult and confusing for me to adjust from this new whole new Xavier but I will admit, I am loving it as much as how I fell in love with the old Xavier.When my grandma passed away, I was in the longest state of shock and sorrow but eventually, I ultimately I learned how to recover from such loss. Xavier on the other hand, while Iโm aware that he had cried a lot during his motherโs passing, he bizarrely took a hard left in probably the most positive way that Iโve seen of him. He said heโs going to live his best life and I donโt even have anything bad to say about his decisions in life.I took the ride with him and it has been the most fun and carefree adventure that Iโve ever had in my life. Initially, I had lots of doubts and confusions about Xavierโs intensely positive behavior but ultimately, as time passed by, I ended up falli
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 98TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe day of the funeral came just as quickly as I lost my own mother and honestly speaking, I wasnโt, in any means, ready to get up from my bed and slip unto something somber and black. I only had a two hours of sleep because I spent the entire night quietly sobbing inside my room. After all, it is the only time that I could cry and cry and really cry hard without thinking about nobody.I couldnโt stop thinking about my mom and how I shouldโve been present for her. I am absolutely aware of the lingering fact that she was struggling and I was entirely glad that she finally decided to checked herself into a rehab. However, you donโt really know whatโs going on inside peopleโs mind even if they say theyโre fine and they say theyโre ready for a change. I donโt really have any sort of idea if my mom just gave into the temptation of the outside world or if Hector somehow managed to talk her out if or even possibly bribed her with something or if she just missed sniffing powde
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 97TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLHugging Jordi Adkins for the first time in a very long while was just the thing that I needed at this point in my life. At first, Jordi was clearly astounded when I first yanked him over into a desperate hug but eventually, he returned the favor and it was just as soothing as I expected it to be. Itโs the kind of embrace that Iโve been longing for and Iโm finally having it. It felt good to be here with Jordi because I donโt know if I could take whatโs happening around in my life anymore.Itโs been a while since Iโve been treating Jordi like he does not exist in my very own universe. I tried to fix it with him when I met the couple Dominic and Valentine but since then, I havenโt really had the best time to even focus on getting Jordi back. When I went to Jordiโs house, I felt super disappointed by the fact that heโs already going out with someone else just a few weeks after I ended things with him. It was mindboggling to be perfectly honest. And when I got back home, th
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 96TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSโX-xavier?โ Nikki was taken by a huge surprise just as she recognized the guy inside the yellow sports car.โOh my god, itโs Xavier.โ Jane whispered behind my ears but I was already having a lot of mixed emotions swirling up inside of me.My heart began to beat twice as fast and I donโt know if I was ready to see Xavier just as early as now. Itโs true that I missed him so badly and I donโt even want to admit that to myself because Iโm trying to get past him. Apparently, I have a long way to go now that I saw him today. I feel like Iโm about to throw up but I also feel like Iโm about to pass out at the very same time.Xavier looked amazingly different and that was the part of me whoโs still hoping that we could fix this speaking on my behalf. He dyed his hair black and he looked bizarrely different but still hot as ever. I felt a slight pang on my chest and it seemed that my tongue got cut off.โIโm sorry, Nikki.โ Xavier uttered.โOh, shit. You dyed your hair black?โ Nikki
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 95TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI woke up with the slow golden light of midday filtering through my window. I forgot how many days it has been until I walked out of my room and then I realized today was already the twenty-fourth. It seemed to me like it was just a blink of an eye but I guess thatโs all because the days were pretty much uninteresting. Iโm doing nothing but showing up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Iโve been sleeping for so long that it became an underlying concern for my protective mother. She said that sleeping for more than eight hours was a simple sign of sorrow that could lead to depression. I guess she was right about it. I am really that much depressed and she completely knows why. I donโt even know why Iโm getting so mopey when Iโve been trying my best to block Xavierโs unrelenting presence off of my mind.It was just a few hours left before Christmas and this year, one thing is for sure, Iโm not much excited as I was last year or the year before that and the year before that ye
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 94TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSIt was the smell of alcohol evaporating from my body mixed with a banging headache that got me running towards the toilet when I woke up from going to that house party Nikki invited us into. I was throwing up so badly that I almost felt like Iโm going to start barfing all of my insides. I was hugging the toilet bowl as if it was the only friend I have in this trying times.I spent almost half an hour on the bathroom floor thinking Iโm dying up until the moment my mom knocked on the door. I instantly felt good when I heard her screaming out my name. There seemed to be some sort of a healing power coming from her voice that made me stand up from hugging the toilet seat.โJordi, Are you okay in there, sweetie?โโYes, mom. Iโm just throwing up, Iโm fine. Donโt worry about me.โ I yelled back.โOh, Iโm not worried about you, sweetie. Iโm just knocking to remind you that you need to clean up your mess up in there. Thatโs what you get for overdrinking. I told you to drink moderat
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 93RD HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLXanderโs birthday party was well prepared for and it was as grand as the MET gala that thereโs even a photoshoot at the gate for every person arriving. I was just taking a peek on my window but I could see everything. I donโt think Iโve celebrated a birthday like this in my life. Though, to me, the way I see things panning out, this was going to be the last birthday that Xander was ever going to celebrate in this household. Xander mentioned that heโs going to be kicked out of the house once this party was over and I felt slightly bothered and sad by that.The outfit that was given to me to wear was draped on the bed and it was just waiting for me to slip on them for the entire hour. It was a yellow suit with touches of black and a few sparkling stones. I donโt even want to be invited to this party and thatโs all because Iโm developing such laziness. Iโm very lazy to go out there and meet new people.Right after slipping on the suit that was provided for me, I looked ov
The Badboy's Heartbeatย ย ย 92ND HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe dinner with my dadโs family did not go well just as I was expecting it. The tension within the family was very much evident from the get go. I may have unconsciously observed everything.My dad and his wife Rachel doesnโt have the best relationship of husband and wife and anyone couldโve guessed that right away. They werenโt very subtle with how theyโre treating each other even right in front of their children. In fact, I do remember my dad somehow loved my mother in a very different sense than what I just witnessed between him and his original wife and the mother of his three children. In this world, while itโs very much common that patriarchy is ruling, I have sensed Rachel was also after the money.Xiomara was that one member of the family who just doesnโt know how to adjust and is charged up with built-up anger and some nasty attitude. She hated everything and everyone. Iโm personally giving her the benefit of the doubt because I donโt have any idea of the thin
