Playlist ———-
Floating Under Water - John Coggins Exile(feat. Bon Iver) - Taylor Swift Silhouette- Active Child Always Been You - Katie Hargrove & Harry Baymiller Stay - Cat Power Goodbye - Cage the Elephant Death Rattle - Andrew Lockington Bullet - (Vampire Redux) Ryan Star Paradise - Bazzi Ordinary - Alex Warren Lovin On Me - Jack Harlow Down On Life - Elliphant Houdini - Foster The People Circles - Mac Miller Wait - M83 Passo Bem Solto (super slowed) - ATLXS Light a Fire - Rachel Taylor Meant to Be - The Prams Upside of Down - SVRCINA Flights - Eric Matthys & Ovrthro Outro - M83 Terrible Love - The National Pretty Little Poison - Warren Zeiders Wasted my Time - Default Skin - Zola Jesus To Love - Suki Waterhouse Joanna - Def Joe Oblivion - Bastille Everlasting Lover - 49 Winchester Something About You - Level 42 Twice - Little Dragon Dauoalogn - Sigur Ros Be Still - The Fray Never Tear Us Apart - INXS Fade Into You - Mazzy Star Into Your Arms(slowed & reverb) - Whitt Lowrey feat. Ava Max Medicine - Daughter Still Don’t Know My Name - Labrinth All I Want - Kodaline Wings - Birdy Closed Shades - Crozet Roslyn - Bon Iver & St. Vincent Hold On We’re Going Home - Drake(feat. Majid Jordan) To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra The Argument - Aidan Hawken Cold World - Jon E. K. I made it - Kevin Rudolph Hero - Reddy Redd In Red and Blue - Adalita We’re Running out of Time - Alan Silvestri Changes - Black Sabbath Human - Civil Twilight Shelter - Birdy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PROLOGUE Collins When I was a little girl my grandfather would tell me stories. Stories about his people and their culture. Stories about my mother when she was a child. Stories about the great eagle.. our pack symbol.. and of it’s protection over us. And…. stories about wolves. One in particular he used to tell me all the time was the tale of the two wolves. The legend was the first werewolf that was created had two wolves inside him , not one. The two wolves fought against each other for control. One was good, and one was bad. When I had asked him what happened .. he told me nobody knew for sure, only that the strongest wolf had been the one to survive. “You have the two wolves inside of you now…” grandfather had said. I gasped… my eyes widening. “I do??” I asked him. “Yes. By the time of your first shift, whichever one is the strongest.. will be the one that emerges,”. He said. I thought about that for a moment. Then decided I would always be good. I would be the best person, best friend and daughter.. and surely that way the good wolf inside me would become the strongest. I didn’t want to have a bad wolf. When I told this to grandfather, he smiled at me. “Will it work?” I asked him. “I don’t know..” he said. “But there is always a choice. A choice to be good or bad. And I think if you make the right decisions in life, you will be rewarded. And having a good wolf is is a pretty nice reward, wouldn’t you say?” I nodded. “If you always remember no matter what you do, what path you walk, or what hand you play… that you will always have a choice. You will go far in life nôsisim.” He told me. As I got older I began to think my grandfather had just told me that story to scare me into behaving. I had always been a little mischievous before that. I was the rambunctious one who had always wanted to run and play and get dirty, getting into everything…causing chaos wherever I went. My mother said it was my overly curious mind that caused this. Now however…. I had no doubt people had either good wolves or bad wolves. I had seen and heard too many things in my short life that proved it. My grandfather had been right, at least about the two wolves. Not only that, the same could be said for humans. They might not have the two wolves inside them fighting. But they had something that made them come out inherently good, or completely evil. I had witnessed that as well. I had experienced that… up close. And because of that experience? Now we had to leave our pack. I had to say goodbye to my grandfather and my best friends. I had to leave the college that I had been going to for two years. I had to say goodbye to the warm sunshine.. and trade in my sandals and cut offs for sweaters and boots. All because MY human… had masked his evil and covered it with good. And I hadn’t seen through it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ On the day we were leaving our pack, my grandfather slipped something into my hand. “For good luck, nôsisim.” He told me. It was a beautiful necklace, a strand of Navajo beads that I knew he had made himself. It was a cherished gift from my grandfather that I would forever keep close to my heart and never remove…. hoping and wishing that it really would bring me good luck. I certainly could use some. I hugged him tightly. “Thank you nimosom, I love you.” I told him. Saying goodbye to such a constant in my life felt like half of my heart was being ripped out. Moving to a new pack in the north certainly created distance between my demons and I. But it didn’t keep the memories or the nightmares away. I didn’t dare tell my parents. They had enough to deal with. But every single night I woke up in a cold sweat from the dreams. I had to talk myself down from the ledge.. Garrett isn’t here… Garrett isn’t coming back…. Garrett can’t hurt you anymore. I clutched my necklace… trying to even out my breathing. It’s funny…. how dreams seem so real sometimes. Or maybe you’re in such a nightmare… you wish it was just a dream. Yes, my grandfather was right about the two wolves. But I think he was wrong about the choices. There may always be a choice. But sometimes, that choice is taken away from you.CollinsA secret is like a disease. It grows. When you keep it inside it gets bigger and bigger. And the damage is always worse when it comes out. But I’m good at secrets. I’ve held one close to my heart since I was fourteen years old… when I accidentally found out something I shouldn’t have… that I didn’t want to know. That secret has eaten away at me for years now. There had been so many times over the years I wanted to tell it…. to confront the person who it was about. But how many lives would I be ruining if I did that? So I’d kept it inside where it ravaged me on a daily basis. But the secret of being a werewolf? That’s different. That’s a necessity… not a choice. The implications of it coming out would be dire for so many people, it would be pure devastation. The idea that I could share my secret, here.. at college with someone? That fills me with some sort of raw hope…. something I had no idea I wanted or needed until this moment. This moment, when I know for a fact th
Collins It had been a couple of weeks since classes started. I was finally settling in some… getting into the groove of things. Jenny and I were getting closer every day and I thanked goddess I had her. I felt like I’d known her my entire life. We stayed busy … classes all day then dance practice and then we worked at the restaurant. After about a week of training they decided we had graduated and were let loose in the world of waitressing and bartending on our own. It took a little bit— but eventually we got it, and now we were pros. So far luckily, Jenny and I always worked the same shift. Mostly because we had the same hours available. But it didn’t leave much free time. I had spoken to Alan a couple of more times since Jenny almost caught us having phone sex. I’d never been more embarrassed in my life. At first I thought I was in the clear, that she had no idea what I had been up to. That was until later that day when she asked me if I wanted her to go down to the library a w
Alan After we’d finished talking and I was … finished because even though her roommate waking up put a stop to what she was doing it sure as hell didn’t stop me….. I walked over to the table by my bed. I sighed as I sat down. I stared at my bedside table, fighting an internal battle with myself, as I often did. I already knew I was going to lose .. this was one fight I never won. After five minutes of staring, I gave up and opened the drawer… pulling out the pictures that I secretly kept there. I felt my heart splinter as I looked at the face smiling back at me. I flipped through them… one by one as I often did. Pictures of us together…. Pictures of us in bed… her smiling at me…. and my favorite one… a close up of just her.. a piece of her hair hung over her eye as I had reached up to move it back. I had snapped the picture right then while she smiled shyly and looked at me through her lashes. Fucking hell. No one knew. No one knew we’d been sneaking around for years. No one k
AlanI’ve always been a good sleeper. A DEEP sleeper. As long as I have the room set up the way I like it that is. Dark curtains, cold air, and a loud ass box fan…. I could sleep for days. Okay so I’m a bit of a diva when it comes to my sleeping arrangements. But still.. once the room is right, I go in to what Emily always called my death sleep. You could bang pots and pans above my head and I wouldn’t budge. Recently, I’ve been sleeping even harder that normal. And that’s a feat within itself. Normally nothing wakes me until my body automatically decides I’ve had enough sleep. But with all the constant training I’ve been doing, plus working on my beta duties every day… I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow. That’s why this morning… when the shrill sound of my phone goes off … I pop out of the bed so quick I fall my ass down and hit my head on the bedside table. Apparently high pitched noises is the key to waking my ass up. “Son of a …” I pick up the phone, not bothering t
CollinsWe spent the next day looking for part time jobs. We went to literally every single doctors office, the hospital, any and every medical type office there was. We even went to three different pharmacies. But no luck. I was beginning to feel defeated. I didn’t have to work.. but I definitely wanted to. Jenny certainly didn’t have to but my parents didn’t have the money that hers did… and I hated asking them for it. They’d already deposited a good chunk of change into my checking and savings account. But I didn’t want to live off them all year. I was ready for a nap. Last night after we’d talked and talked Jenny surprised me by opening the cabinet under the large television in our room and showed me two separate gaming systems that Cristoff would die over…. Plus tons of dvds and a dvd player. I didn’t even know they still made those. “They probably don't…” Jenny had said when I told her this. “But I asked my dad to bring ours from home. I have about a gazillion movies that I
CollinsOnce we finally were able to get over the shock of the room we came in and started unloading. I took the bed on the far wall as Jenny said she didn’t care which bed was hers.. but she’d also already sat down on the other one. “Did someone come with you to help you move in?” Mom asked Jenny. A sad expression quickly appeared on Jenny’s face, then disappeared just as fast. “No my mom.. she’s a lawyer and she travels a lot. She’s hardly ever at home. And dad is here somewhere probably in his office .. so it’s just me.” She said. “Well we can help with whatever you need.” Emily told her… always doing for others. Emily had the heart of a saint I decided. Jenny thanked her.. and then we all began unpacking and getting the room situated. I still hadn’t bought more clothes. And I was going to have to do that soon. Even Jenny made a comment about my lack of winter wear. But first I needed a job. I still hadn’t found one of those either. We had a few days to get settled in before
Collins The day had finally arrived. I was going back to school. I was packed and ready… my mom waiting in the car with Cristoff. The baby was staying back with Natasha.. the beta’s wife… it would be too hard to move into the dorms with a newborn. And my dad had to stay back and train. Alan also had to stay and train… but he would come and say goodbye to me. Emily and Lauren were both coming as well. And thank goddess for that. I would need the support, even though I was more than ready. I went outside and snuggled my baby brother goodbye. I would see him soon… but babies changed so much when they were this tiny, I knew I would be missing a milestone or two. I hugged my dad and didn’t want to let go. My dad was my protector. He would do anything in the world for me. He would always be my biggest fan. And leaving him broke a little piece of my heart off. Lorenzo hugged me as well. Then there stood Alan. I had been going down the line saying my goodbyes. I had been doing so we
Collins Goddess. I had so much fun last night. I had too much fun last night. I felt like utter shit this morning. Utter shit is putting it lightly. I had woken up at Emily’s house. No idea how I’d even gotten here. It took me seven years to even lift my head up off the pillow. Once I’d finally managed that, I was able to crawl… literally… to the door. Once I opened it there was Emily. Sprawled out in the hallway. And even though I felt like I was dying.. I busted out laughing. “I was coming to get you….” She mumbled. “But this is far as I made it.” Now — what seemed like years later, because it took so much effort and time for us both to make our way downstairs — Emily and I were sitting at the kitchen table with coffees the size of Lorenzo’s pack. I heard someone walk into the room but I didn’t even have the strength to look up to see who it was. Until they busted out laughing. Alan.. of course it would be Alan. “Owwwww!” Emily said. “Your laughing hurts.”For the fir
AlanI started over.. ready to end the dude’s life right there and then when Lorenzo stopped me. “Calm the hell down dude. We’re surrounded by humans.” Lorenzo whispered. I tried. I really did. But I wanted blood. I finally got my breathing in check enough to nod at Lo and then the two of us continued to where the girls were. I stared at the asshole who was touching my mate. The guy seemed to get the picture and backed off. However I kept on staring at him… still snarling lowly. That seemed to do the trick as the little shit scurried off finally. Collins, who was still dancing and had no idea the guy had even left…. she probably didn’t know he was there to begin with…. was the first to spot us. “Lorenzo?” She looked confused at him. Then she spotted me. “Alan!!” She yelled. Then she bounded over and jumped into my arms, hugging me.What the …..Shit she felt good. I held on to her.. her legs wrapped around me … I leaned into her neck and took a deep calming sniff. Inhaling h