004 Leftover Honeymoon

(Serena)

James frowns. His face darkens. “How dare you ask me that. Of course I’m not. I’d never do that to you. Is that what you really think?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore but I do know, I’m not staying here. I’m going home.”

“Stop overreacting. You don’t have to leave.”

“I do. I’m not sleeping in a bed that Savannah has been in, even if she leaves.”

“Just stay. Please. We can book another room together.”

I stop at the door. “You can come home too,” I suggest. “We can still salvage this night.”

“I’ll stay a bit longer. I don’t want her to wake up alone and confused.”

“But you’ll be home later?” I press.

He comes up and takes me in his arms. “I will. There’s nowhere else I want to be, I promise. Look, I told Savannah about this gala last week because I thought she was lonely.”

“That’s the only reason?”

“Yes. I was hoping she’d get back into her circle of friends, you know?”

“I think the only circle she wants to be in is yours.”

“Maybe right now. But she has been through some awful stuff. I want to give her a hand up. I promise soon she’ll forget all about me. Don’t read too much into what she says and does.”

He’s right. She needs to find her feet. I’m just being jealous.

He leans down and kisses me gently. “Don’t forget you had plans for me later.”

“Just come home and I’ll show you.”

***

Then he didn’t.

He didn’t call or even text. Why can’t he see what she’s doing?

I hear the front door open. 

James is home at last! 

I’m not going to dwell on what happened yesterday, today is a new day. 

I rush to the door to greet him and maybe we’ll just fall right back into bed.

I stop dead in my tracks.

They walk in together. Laughing. Sharing some in-house joke. 

It’s clear to see they have history. Something James and I haven’t been able to build yet. I wonder if we ever will.

Savannah steps in just behind James, her hand on his arm, all glowing cheeks and messy bun like she’s just come from a spa retreat.

“Oh, Serena!” she gasps, like she didn’t expect me to be in my own house. “I was just telling James how lucky I was to have him last night. Honestly, it got so bad. My ankles swelled up like balloons and my blood pressure spiked and I thought I was having the baby.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Sorry to hear more of your fake crap.

She rubs her hand over her pregnant belly. “The hotel staff were amazing. They called for medical support right away. But James…” She smiles up at him. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”

“Sorry I didn’t make it home. I knew you’d understand,” James says as he takes my hand.

I think I’m beginning to understand all too well.

“I just wanted to come here now to thank you,” Savannah adds with that same sugar-sweet tone. “You really are amazing to let him stay. I just… I was so scared. It’s hard facing being a single mom.”

“I’m sure it can’t be easy.” Arguing with her will probably just satisfy her.

“Can I get you something?” I ask James. “The coffee is fresh. Some toast maybe?”

He goes to answer but she butts in. Of course.

“Actually… a smoothie would be amazing. Something light? Thank you for asking.”

She is unbelievable. I look at James, “coffee?”

He nods and looks relieved. “Please. I’d love one. Thanks.”

I go into the kitchen and grab the blender out. Toss in frozen pineapple, mango, and banana. Some orange juice. Yogurt. Ice. 

Of course I want to make you a smoothie. I’ve been waiting all night just to serve you….

I walk back out of the kitchen and hand Savannah her drink.

“You’re such a sweetheart, so domesticated,” she says, sipping delicately. “You really are. I don’t know how you cope without staff. I never would.”

She walks towards the living room. “I can see you two want some alone time. I’ll just go and rest there.”

James watches me as I go over and shut the door.

“You must have been very busy. You couldn’t even squeeze in a text message. I waited and waited.” I say trying to keep a calm voice.

“I thought you were asleep because you never messaged me.”

“So, is it my fault now? That’s ridiculous.”

“Serena—” he starts.

“I’m going to shower,” I say. “Try not to let anyone else move in while I’m gone.”

“You’re being ridiculous now. Do you expect me to just walk away and not help her?”

“I expect you to put me first.”

“You are first. I don’t get why you’re so insecure all of a sudden. We always have to have the same arguments.”

“Maybe because you chose to stay with her last night.”

He goes to speak but I know that look on his face…

“Don’t you dare say you didn’t have a choice,” I tell him.

He exhales. “I did have a choice and I made it. I thought you’d understand. I’m sorry I never text or called. I should have. But things just were crazy for a bit and then I crashed on the couch.”

“You promised you’d come home.”

“I did, and I was wrong to not keep that promise. But Savannah is just being clingy. I don’t have feelings for her. I love you. Only you.”

“I’m being jealous and paranoid, I know. But you know how insecure I am with your family always reminding me how I don’t belong.”

He comes closer. His voice softens. “I love you. I married you. Don’t let anyone get in your head. Look, I’m the first one to admit that she’s dramatic, but her heart is in the right place.”

He reaches for me. I let him. He kisses me. 

I want to let it happen. To let the pleasures of the flesh take over. 

I want him to remember our passion. 

I need him to remember.

I want to believe I’m the only one he wants.

His hands glide down my back. I press my body to his. We groan our shared need into our kiss.

And then—

The door swings open. “Oh! Sorry! I should’ve knocked...”

Savannah.

“But I was so excited to see this canvas print on the wall. I can’t believe you treasure the memory of our first time all this time, James. You’re an old romantic, aren’t you?”

I stare at her like she’s crazy. 

She has the canvas print I had enlarged for James’ last birthday.

Our favorite view. 

The Amalfi Coast. From the cliffside resort we stayed at.

“This view from the villa terrace. That was such a magical trip. I mean we were young but that night was special. It is our first time together after all.” 

She sighs. “You just never forget your first… The sea breeze, sunset… God, I still dream about it.”

She hugs the canvas to her chest and closes her eyes.

I glare at James. 

He stares back and stays silent. But the guilt in his eyes is all I need to see.