LOGIN(Serena)I’m not sure I can do this. What will James be expecting when he sees me.“You’ve been with him?” I ask. “Before you came and kidnapped me.”“I did not kidnap you. I gave you a ride.”“Sure, because Uber-Chopper is a thing… answer the question.”Rick shrugs. “James and I had a drink or two. I listened.”“Okay.”“Now it’s your turn. To listen. And to decide. Then stick by that decision and go live your best life.”“I’m not sure it’s the right time.”“There’s never a right time. You just either do it or you don’t.”“This seems extreme…”“He’s talkin’ like he’s packin’ up and leavin’ the country,” he says. “Because that’s the only way he can do what he needs to do.”“What does he need to do?”“Stay away from you,” Rick says. “Give you peace. Stop bringin’ his mess to your doorstep. Because he says you’re right. You’ll be happier without him.”I stare at him, feeling something in my stomach tighten. I hate hearing it said out loud. I hate that it makes sense and still feels wron
(Serena)Rick gets me into Black Betty and we’re off the ground before I can argue properly.The cops cars are either side of us now. Lights flashing. Officers staring up like they can’t believe this is real.Rick doesn’t care. He lifts the nose and climbs. He’s done this a thousand times.I grip the armrest and stare straight ahead.There’s the thrill of adrenalin and excitement surging through me. Despite me trying to pretend this is crazy, part of me is loving it too.“You’re actually insane,” I say into the headset.Rick’s laugh is short. “I’ve been called worse.”“Where are we going?”“It’s a long ride.”“That’s not an answer.”“It’s what you’re gettin’.”I want to rip the headset off and throw it at him. I want to demand he turns around. I want to tell him I’ve changed my mind.But the truth is, I’m already in it, and Rick flies steady once we’re clear. No showing off. No extra drama. Just distance and sky.I love this. It makes you feel so free up here. Looking at everything be
(Serena)A whole week passes. I guess it answers my question.No James on my doorstep. No shadow in the camera feed before dark.No silent figure leaving before sunrise.No unknown numbers calling. Not attempt at contact at all.The quiet should feel like a win. This was what I wanted. The time and space to work out how I move forward if I’m pregnant or if I’m not.How to move forward loving James. Do I do it silently and secretly and just let him go?Do I let him back in to prove he really means he loves me for me this time?This week should have made this clear to me.It didn’t. Because deep inside me I know I still love him. I love him for all the things he is when all the other things have gone away.But I also know to be with him again is going to take moving a mountain. But he hasn’t been back so reallym it probably does answer my question. There is no baby as far as he knows so crisis averted.He can go back to his life free of guilt and duty and let me have my space.That part
(Maya)The day passes. I work. I take calls. I plan my upcoming presentations for women in business and entrepreneur motivation.I hold a video meeting for a women-in-business program. I love this work. I miss my bakery but I love how it has launched me into this space.The team are doing so well with the bakery. Joint owners. James’ advice worked out. I go back often and help them with anything they need.Sometimes I just sit back and love on their success and how they have taken Serena’s out to the world and there are five bakeries now.Today has been hectic and that damn pregnancy test is in the back of my mind. But I’m not ready yet. Not even close.Late afternoon comes, and I finally head back home.I take a bath and make myself some dinner. A quiet night in thinking about nothing hopefully. But I know I have a lot to think about.It’s darkening outside and I’m having a juice. Haylee called and checked in. I never said anything about James being there last night.I just asked her
(Serena)Blocking James isn’t me being dramatic.It’s me trying to get my own brain back.Because when he’s in my phone—when his name flashes up, when the messages stack, when the missed calls keep coming—my head stops being mine.It turns into this loud, ugly loop I can’t shut off.Savannah’s smirk.Her hand on her stomach.“My husband,” like she was handing me a death certificate.James taking me on “honeymoon” to that place he acted like was ours… and then me finding out it wasn’t.He’d already been there. With her.For their first time together. Their memories tainting mine.Margot’s hatred, polished and precise. The kind that never let’s up. The kind I cannot trust. Not ever.The first baby… and the way Margot’s contempt got worse after I lost him, like my loss was proof I didn’t belong. Like my body failing meant I was flawed maternally.And the stairs.That moment plays in my mind. The slip, the shock, my hand reaching for the rail and grabbing nothing.The second baby gone aft
(Serena)The pregnancy test is still sealed.Like it’s a grenade, and if I pull the pin, everything I’ve been pretending not to feel will explode all over my bathroom tiles.I stand there with it in my hand anyway, staring at the stupid pastel packaging while my pulse goes feral.Haylee leans on the vanity beside me, arms folded, eyes sharp but soft at the edges.“Okay,” she says gently. “You’ve been holding the packet for ten minutes.”“I know.”“Do you want me to go out of the bathroom?”“No.”I look at her in the mirror.“I want…” I start, then stop, because if I say what I want out loud, it becomes real.Haylee waits. She doesn’t push. She just watches me like she’s ready to catch me if my knees decide to quit.I swallow hard and finally say it.“I want James here. If I’m pregnant, it’s his. I want to do this with him.”Silence drops like a curtain.Haylee’s brows lift slightly, not surprised. “Okay.”“I hate that I want him here,” I add quickly, because I feel exposed now. Raw. “







