CHAPTER 5

I woke up earlier than usual, lalo na kapag may trabaho ako. Hindi pa rin mawala-wala sa isip ko ‘yung naging sagutan namin ni Daddy kagabi. How can he do this to his own daughter?

Mom can’t do anything about it either. Speaking of Mom, I missed her so much. Nasa States kasi siya ngayon, handling her own business. My mom is a well-known fashion designer there. Simula nung ikasal sila ni Dad, she managed to continue her fashion career while still taking care of us. Buti na lang uuwi siya ngayong katapusan.

I prepared my breakfast, then ate slowly. Habang kumakain ako, my phone rang it was Mom. Luckily, she called. Gustong gusto ko siyang tawagan kagabi, pero baka busy siya kaya hindi ko na tinuloy.

“Hi baby, how are you there? I missed you already,” she said. Rinig ko sa boses niya ang pagod pero pilit niyang tinatago.

“Mom, I missed you so much. I’m okay. How about you? We barely talk these days. Sobrang busy ko, for sure busy ka rin diyan.”

“Yes, kaya nga kita na-miss kasi hindi na tayo ganun nag-uusap e. Pero don’t worry, uuwi na ako after nitong designs na ginagawa ko dito. By the end of this month.”

“You should be resting now. Alam kong pagod ka.”

“Yeah, are you going to work?”

“Yup. You should rest now, Mom. Don’t catch a cold there, okay?”

“Yes, baby. You too. Malayo ang mommy mo, baka pag nagkasakit ka lilipad ako pauwi diyan.”

Napangiti ako. “Mom, I’m not a baby anymore.”

“You’re still my baby kayong dalawa ng kuya mo. By the way, you should get going na, baka ma-late ka. I’ll take my rest na rin. Tumawag lang ako kasi na-miss kita.”

“I love you, bye.”

“I love you too, darling.”

Then the call ended. What a nice way to start my day.

Pagkatapos kong magligpit ng kinainan, nagbihis na ako at nag-ayos. Black slacks, cream blouse, at ‘yung usual na minimalist gold accessories. I fixed my hair into a low bun, dabbed a little perfume, then grabbed my bag and car keys.

The drive to work was smooth, halos walang traffic. Pagdating ko sa hotel, bumati agad ang mga staff.

“Good morning, Ma’am Ave!”

“Good morning,” I greeted back with a small smile.

Being a managing staff wasn’t easy. Every manager reports to me housekeeping, F&B, events, maintenance, even the front desk. I had to make sure everything runs perfectly before the general manager even steps in. Pero sanay na ako. This job keeps me sane.

Everything was calm and steady. I went straight to my office, checked the schedules, signed reports, and coordinated with the department heads. The morning went by smoothly until someone knocked on my office door.

“Come in,” sabi ko habang hindi inaalis ang tingin ko sa laptop.

Pag-angat ko ng ulo, natigilan ako.

It was Sam.

Nakasuot siya ng white polo na naka tupi hanggang siko, halatang galing pa sa trabaho, may dalang paper bag at coffee cup and my favorite white roses. Halatang pinag-isipan niya ‘yung pagpunta dito.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Sam…” I tried to compose myself. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you,” sagot niya, lumapit ng dahan-dahan. “I wanted to make things right, Ave. Please.”

Umiling ako. “Sam, not here. I’m working.”

“I know, but I can’t keep pretending na okay lang tayo na ganito. Hindi ko kayang mawala ka.”

“I don’t think this is the right time to talk—”

“I was stupid, Ave. I let pride ruin everything. I’m sorry for cheating, hindi ko na uulitin. Please, let’s start again”

He placed the paper bag on my desk breakfast sandwich and coffee. “I remembered you always skip breakfast when you’re mad.”

“Sam, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he said quickly. “I want to make it up to you.”

Tahimik ako. Pagod na akong makinig sa mga paulit-ulit niyang sorry, hindi naman genuine. After one apology he will do the same mistake again, I’m sick of that. I used to remember that there was a time when gestures like this would’ve melted me, pero ngayon, parang wala nang epekto. Maybe because I was already exhausted. Or maybe because I knew deep down… I wasn’t the same person anymore.

He reached out and took my hand, his touch familiar but no longer comforting. “Ave, look at me. Please.”

I did. But instead of the love I used to see, all I felt was guilt and confusion.

Because no matter how much I tried to remember the man I used to love, my mind kept going back to that stranger’s scent, that mark he left, that night I couldn’t forget.

“Sam, please,” I whispered, pulling my hand away. “Let’s not do this here.”

He looked at me, eyes soft but desperate. “Can we just talk after work? One dinner, Ave. Please.”

Huminga ako nang malalim, then nodded slowly. “Fine. Just dinner.”

A faint smile tugged at his lips. “Thank you.”

He left the office quietly, leaving the faint smell of his perfume behind familiar, safe, but painfully empty.

Pagkaalis niya, napasandal ako sa upuan. My eyes landed on the flowers, coffee cup he brought, then to the small rose-shaped cookie inside the paper bag. I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment.

I wanted to feel something again that spark, that fire, that rush of warmth. Pero wala.

All I could think of was that stranger’s kiss.

And the way it burned everything I thought I knew about love.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Meetings, calls, and short greetings from the staff all routine. Then before I knew it, it was already six in the evening.

I packed up my things, fixed myself, and went down to the lobby. Sam was there, leaning against his car, waiting. He looked neat, calm like the Sam I used to fall for.

He smiled when he saw me. “You’re still beautiful,” he said softly.

I just forced a smile. “Let’s just eat.”

We drove silently to a small restaurant near the hotel, one of our old go-to places. While waiting for our food, he started talking about us, about how he wanted to start again. I tried to listen, but my mind was somewhere else.

When he reached out and touched my hand, I froze. The gesture was gentle, sincere, but there was no pull. No warmth. No heartbeat racing.

I tried to meet his eyes then he leaned closer, his lips brushing mine softly. Pamilyar pero parang may mali. I kissed him back for a moment, trying to feel something. But I couldn’t.

Because the moment his lips touched mine, all I could remember was that stranger’s kiss the one that ruined everything and woke something inside me.

I gently pulled away. “I can’t, Sam.”

He stared at me, confused. “Why?”

“I just can’t.”

He tried to reach for my hand again, but I stood up, grabbing my purse. “I’m sorry, Sam. This… isn’t working anymore.”

His face fell. “Ave, please—”

“I’m tired,” I said quietly. “Tired of forcing myself to feel something I already lost.”

And before he could say another word, I left.

The cold air hit me as I stepped outside the restaurant. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. My phone buzzed a message from my friends saying they’d drop by my condo but Im not there kaya sa susunod nalang daw.

Maybe that’s what I needed not love, not reconciliation. Just people who make me feel human again.

What I need to do now is to forget that man.