"8"

Tinaasan ni Karinna ang doktora ng kilay, hindi pa ba sapat ang efforts nya? Halos hindi na nga sya pumapasok sa trabaho para lang mabantayan si Vince. "But I'm here, I'm always here." She battled with disappointment, stating her point with a blank stare.

"I know, but clearly that's not enough. He needs a new environment." Patuloy na pangungusap ng doktora. "Masyadong magulo dito. Masyadong mainit ang masa at media sa sitwasyon nya. He needs a clean slate. Somewhere, in a place where he can rest."

Unti-unti ng naiintindihan ni Karinna ang gustong iparating ng doktora sa kanya and it terrified her dahil malaking pagbabago nanaman ito sa buhay nya. "What are you trying to say here?" Mejo naiirita nyang tanong. Ano na naman ang bagay na dapat nyang bitawan, dapat nyang isakripisyo.

"He would need to leave Manila, move to the provinces. Somewhere quiet, secluded and safe... with you, preferably."

Napatayo si Karinna sa kinakaupuan nya. "What?!" Is this another one of those joke na hilig ibato ng doktora sa kanya. Joke lang yun diba, it can't be true. It's too much. Isn't that too drastic?

"Do you really want me to repeat everything?" Doc Bastillas' smile implied mockery, she crossed her arms against her chest and watched as the lady in front of her sink in such news on a very short notice. "He needs to leave this place. Masyadong masakip, masyadong magulo---"

"I understood you the first time." Karinna cut her off without hesitation. "Pero bakit ako? Bakit hindi nalang sina Babot or Emma? I'm just an old friend of his."

For the nth time, binigyan ng doktora si Karinna ng ngiti. "Really? Just a friend? May kaibigan palang mas matindi pa sa nanay o sa girlfriend kung makapag-bantay at makapag-alaga. If I hadn't known you are married to Mr. David then anyone would've mistaken you as Mr. Visencio's lovely wife." Mapang-asar na sinabi ng doktora kaya naman na patingin si Karinna sa baba para itago ang biglang pamumula ng pisngi. "But, you know... Maybe you are only good friends. The kind of friends that is as good as it gets."

Karinna was left speechless, ni daliri ng dalaga hindi man lang nya makibo sa sobrang pagka-ilang.

It amused the doctor, seeing how the well composed girl in front of her acts like a shy teenage school girl. She isn't stupid to not notice the real intentions and feelings of the lady beside her, because if she was stupid, then she wouldn't have been a great Neurologist. "You know, you're lucky."

"Huh?" Maigsing sagot ni Karinna. The Lady was still obviously stuck in a world of her own.

On the other hand though, here she is,Clarice Cynthia A. Bastillas, a doctor, a specialist and a psychologist began to work her wonders. Gusto ni Karinna ng Mind Games? Thus, she'll give it to her... and so, she starts. "I said you're too lucky to have a friend like Mr. Visencio."

Karinna breathed heavily, her shy and meek eyes looked up at Doc. Bastillas."Yeah, mabait sya. Sobra."

Bastillas nodded in agreement. She fixed the eyeglass that's slipping off her nose as she puckered her lips together, tightening it before relaxing her lips with a deep breath. "Sobrang bait, I mean... What kind of friend would've jumped in front of a bullet just to save a friend, right? Crazy."

Tiningnan ng dalaga ang doktora ng masama. "He's not crazy." Maiksing sagot ni Karinna.

The doctor shrugged her shoulders and made a face that Karinna couldn't figure out. Bastillas laughed nonchalantly, as if whatever it is that crossed her mind was dubiously funny. "I think he's kind of crazy, trust me, I know when someone is sane or not." She stated as a matter of fact. She looked at Karinna and noticed how the lady in front of her looked like she was ready to kill. It amused her how defensive the latter was.

"No, he's not."

It's too obvious not to see. She mentality noted before letting out one of her playful smiles. "Oh really now? Then, let me ask you... Would you jump in front of a bullet just for a friend?"

Karinna opened her lips to speak, closed it and opened it again. She wanted to speak her mind but was left speechless. Her mind went blank. Ano nga kaya ang gagawin nya kung nasa sitwasyon sya ni Vince? Kakayanin ba nyang magligtas ng kaibigan na ang kapalit na naman ay ang buhay nya?

It was just a question yet it made her feel so small, bakit kaya ganun? Nakakainis. Maski hanggang tanong lang... she's still a coward and she hated it.

"See?" The doctor practically celebrated with an arrogant smile. "Even I wouldn't do it. Siguro itutulak ko lang sya papalayo, or I would dial up the hospital and call for the police... But to risk my own life? No way... and just for a friend? Never." The doctor continued, prying and studying Karinna's features as she speaks. She noticed how the lady's features changed, her words are affecting the latter, and it's just what she wants.

"An act of total selflessness..." Bastillas remarked as she stood up from her seat. She still has a meeting to catch and another patient to check. "...sana, ikonsider mo naman ang buhay na nawala sa kaibigan mo. It won't take long naman eh. And I wasn't supposed to tell you this but I guess I'm forced to..."

Bastillas kneeled in front of Karinna who was silently sitting on the couch. She placed her hands on top of Karinna's thighs and nodged her head up Para magkatinginan sila ng masinsinan. Her eyes might've looked back sa doktora but it was filled with so much emptiness. "...Vincent's family decided on this four months after the accident. Bumili sila ng bahay at lupa sa Batanes Just for the sake of their beloved, na when the right time comes ililipat na si Mr. Visencio dun for him to recuperate without anyone knowing... and you have to be there as well. It's not that they ask for you, but because he knows and trusts you. I think it's best kung ikaw. "

Tumulo na ang namumuong luha mula sa mga mata ni Karinna. "Bakit ako? I don't deserve it... He doesn't need me to heal."

"Yes he does, I can't even explain how much he needs you." Bulong ng doktora sa kanya. "Ikaw ang nagpagising sa kanya diba? Then you need to help him... He needs you and you know it." Hinawakan ni Clarice ang kamay ni Karinna at pinisil ito bago sya tumayo. Humakbang sya papalayo pero bago sya tuluyang umalis ng silid ay tiningnan muna nya ang dalaga na tahimik parin at nalilito. "I really hope you consider... Hindi ko alam kung sino ang bagong magbabantay sa kanya kung ayaw mo. And quite frankly, I don't trust anyone other than you, his family and those four nurses."

*****

Kakarating lang ni Karinna sa kanyang unit. She was so drained na hindi na nya nagawang makapag-palit ng damit. Humiga nalang sya sa kama at tahimik na tumutig sa kisame.

She really wanted to cry, pero bakit nga ba sya iiyak. Anong dahilan?

"Bakit naman kasi ikaw pa." Bulong nya sa hangin habang kinakausap ang kanyang sarili, ang kanyang boses nanginginig at nanliliit sa nagdadalang pagpigil ng kanyang emosyon. "...pwede namang iba nalang, diba?"

She pushed herself off the bed and gradually stared at herself at the mirror. She looked so tired, so pale and so sleepless. Sobrang kapal ng make-up nya tuwing may taping sya para lang hindi mahalata ng tao kung gaano na sya kapagod.

"Kasalanan mo yan." Sinabi nya sa sarili, ang mga mata nya nakatitig parin sa salamin. "Kaya wag na wag ka ng iiyak. Tapos ka ng umiyak, okay? Kailangan mong maging matapang. Wag na wag kang magpapadala, wag ka ng matakot."

Tuluyan syang tumayo at nagpunta sa cabinet nya para kumuha ng mga damit at tuwalya. Late night showers had always calmed her, and she figured how much she needed one right now.

Bukas first year anniversary ng pagpanaw ni Jean and everyone wants her to be there. They want her to sing something, a tribute ika nga.

Everyone will be there, except for that person, of course.

Bakit ba ang dami nyang problema? Nagsabay-sabay pa. She entered the shower room and turned the faucet, moaning as the lukewarm water caress her skin.

Everything can wait tomorrow. Right now she'll relax, enjoy her bath time... and face the special reunion of the CBS family.