Chapter 44: The Missing Race

Megan's POV

For so many years, I had nothing in my mind but to make Ashton suffer and never let him know about my son. Still, my resolve melted the moment he kissed me, and even if I hated myself for feeling this way, I could no longer stop myself from feeling so happy that he is right here with me, and he was looking at me with the same intensity as eight years ago.

Right now, I don't have anything in my mind but to be with him, and I don't care if I have to beg him to choose me over his fiancée. The moment he told me the reason why he did it to me, my knees felt so weak as I realized we both suffered because of his father. And I couldn't stop myself from hating Gregory Pritzgold for ruining our beautiful relationship.

Ashton scooted closer to me, and even if we had already shared a kiss after eight years of being away from each other, I still felt nervous being this close to him. He never let go of my hand, and he kept holding it, and I could feel that my entire skin had goosebumps because of the excitement that I felt.

"I owe Isabelle. If not because of her, I wouldn't be here right now, and I would never have a chance to be with you. And kissing you again feels like I won the jackpot in a lottery," he declared, and I giggled.

"Yes, Meg, it is true, and I hope you will give me a chance to court you again, and this time I promise I will never mess up, Megan. Please also give me a chance to know my son," he begged, and I raised my eyebrow, and I could see the worries on his handsome face.

"You don't want me to court you, Megan?" he asked, and I nodded my head.

"Why?" he asked, and I could see the nervousness on his face.

"I think you should ask yourself, Ashton, why we can't be together. I don't want to be your mistress," I said, and I could no longer hide my genuine emotions. I let go of my facade; I let him see the pain that registered on my face, and I was stunned when I heard Ashton's laughter reverberate through the entire garden. I was just glad we were the only ones left because all the other guests had already returned to their respective room accommodations.

"Is there anything funny about what I said, Mr. Pritzgold?" I said, and he was shaking his head.

"My love, I know you are the smartest of our batch, and yet even though you became a successful chemist, I can tell you are still naive, Megan," he responded, and I could tell my cheeks blushed right away the moment he called me 'my love,' and I pouted my lips as I tried to show him I was upset with his words, but he became more amused with my reactions.

"And I felt so glad that behind your success, you are still the Megan that I used to know. The way you blush is still the same, and you still look so adorable every time you pout your lips, and those qualities are among the things I love so much about you," he said, and I still felt upset that he laughed at me, even if I felt so overjoyed with happiness as I heard his sweet words.

And I couldn't believe he would only laugh at me because he knew I was still crazy about him, but there was no way I would allow him to use me as his mistress. I'd rather stay single and keep the pain in my heart forever than share him with another woman.

"Who told you I will make you my mistress, Megan?" he asked, and I suddenly felt nervous when I gazed into his penetrating eyes.

"Well, even if I don't like watching the news on television or reading the showbiz report, I have learned you are engaged to Claire," I said, and I couldn't believe that I sounded so jealous as I tried to look away from him. But Ashton cupped my face, and he turned it so I would be facing him.

"I already canceled my engagement with Claire, and the reason why it didn’t leak is because she asked me not to tell anyone about it. She wanted to inform the media herself, but I don't think Claire will do it, because she is still upset that I could never love her. She knew from the very beginning that I am only in love with you, Meg," he said, and I tried to hide the happiness that I felt. Even if he knew I was still in love with him, I still wanted Ashton to make an effort to win Axel and me.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked, and he smiled at me as he nodded his head.

"I am 200% sure, Megan," he replied.

"Okay, but it doesn't mean I will take you back easily, Ashton. You have to earn it by convincing me that you are sincere, and you have to show me that you can be a good father to my son," I said.

"To our son, Megan. Of course, I know, Meg, and I am willing to do everything as long as you will give me a chance to show you how much I love you, and I hope a time will come when your wounds will heal completely," Ashton responded.

"Me too, and you are the only one capable of healing them, Ashton, and I don't know how to tell Axel about you yet," I declared.

"He likes me, Meg, and you know that," he declared.

"Yes, but it would be harder on your part to close the wounds on my heart, Ashton, because of hating you so much; I lost our daughter," I replied, and his eyes widened.

"We have a daughter? You mean Axel has a twin sister?" he asked, and I nodded my head, and I could no longer contain the tears from falling on my cheeks.

"Yes, maybe you can win our son's heart easily; I am sure it will take a long time before you can close my wounds, Ashton. Because of our daughter—she died after I gave birth to her. Her name is Abigail. I was in so much pain, and even until now, I can still feel the excruciating pain of losing her, Ashton," I said as I cried harder, and he took me into his arms.

"Oh, Megan, I am so sorry; I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I am sorry, Meg. Please forgive me, Meg," he said, and I could now feel his tears, and together we cried. This time, I felt the pain lighten since I was crying with Ashton.

"Abigail had a weak heart, and it was because during my pregnancy, I hid all the pain. I tried to look fine even if I felt like I was dying inside. I couldn't stop myself from missing you, and there were moments I wanted to call you, but I remembered the hurtful words you told me, and it hurt terribly because I trusted you so much," I declared.

"I know I am the one to be blamed because I didn't use any contraceptive during that time. But every time I watch Axel, I stop blaming myself. And if I am given another chance to go back to the past, I realize I will retake the same path, and I don't have regrets about loving you because I could tell during those times I was so happy, and I don't want to replace those memories I had with you," I added, and he was kissing my head now.

"Me too, Meg. But it will never be your fault. I promised you heaven, but I gave you hell. And I am not proud of what I have done to you, Meg," Ashton declared, and this time, he pulled me up and let me sit on his lap facing him, and I didn't care about my ego anymore.

"If ever I will be given a chance to go back eight years ago, I will never be a coward, and I should have been there for you. And maybe I could have saved our little girl. There are so many things I missed in your life, Megan. I wanted to be there to hear Axel's first laughter and see the first time he opened his eyes. There were so many things I wanted to do with you, Meg, but because of my cowardice, I lost my chances," he added as he looked at my face.

And being this close with Ashton, I could tell I was losing my ability to think straight because what I felt was something stronger, and I needed to fight it because it was not yet the right time. There was a lot of catching up to do, and I needed to tell him my conditions if he wanted me back in his life.

"And because of the pain I experienced, I will never go easy on you," I said as I poked his hard chest.

"I know, Megan, and right now, I feel that you are beginning to torture me. Being this close to you is too much for me to handle, Meg. I missed you so much, and to be honest, I want to take you with me right now and go to the nearest hotel we can find because I want to be alone with you and make love to you, Megan. And right now that you are on my lap and I can feel your body heat, you are already driving me nuts, Megan," he said.

And I wanted to tell him that I loved what he was thinking and that we should leave this place together, but I needed to use my mind. This time, I need to take things slow, and I will never rush in making decisions regarding Ashton, no matter how all the nerves in my body are telling me to go along with him. And if we are going to be this close with each other, I could tell sooner or later I will be throwing myself at Ashton and begging him to take me.

"That is why I am telling you, you need to double your effort. Yes, I will not lie to you, I still feel the same way towards you, Ashton, because I would not be sitting in your lap if I were not still crazy about you. But I am in too much pain, Ashton. And until now, I haven't spoken with my dad. I was too hurt that he wanted to give away our child because at that time I didn't know I was pregnant with twins," I declared.

"You don't need to worry, Megan. I will spend my time making it up to you and Axel, and I will wait until you become ready," he said, and he smiled at me.

"Okay, but if we want it to be that way, we should stop being this close with each other. And as part of your punishment, you can't kiss or hug me until we become an official couple again; tonight is the only exception," I said, and I could see that his face fell.

"How about during special occasions, Meg?" he asked as he pouted his lips, and this time it was my turn to laugh because Ashton looked so adorable right now, and I could tell for the first time after eight years, I laughed from my heart. And I could say I finally found the missing piece of my life after eight long years.