The Call From Eighteen Years Ago

The pungent smell of disinfectant filled my nostrils.

I opened my eyes.

Bang!

The ward door was kicked open.

My dad Gary stormed in and pointed at my bed as he shouted.

"Jessica! Today was Jason's big day, and you had to run to the rooftop and jump?

"All our relatives saw it! Now everyone's saying we've raised a lunatic!"

My mom Marielle followed behind him and tossed a plastic bag onto the nightstand.

Two cold buns rolled out and landed on the tabletop.

"Jessica, please. If you wanted to throw a tantrum, couldn't you have at least picked another day?

"Jason worked so hard just to get into vocational school. Why did you have to ruin the moment for him?

"Right after you jumped, several tables of guests left without even touching their food. They didn't even leave any gift money!"

I turned to look at them.

An intense pain shot through my wrist. Fresh blood had already seeped through the newly changed bandage.

Neither of them even glanced at it.

"I wasn't throwing a tantrum."

I opened my mouth and tasted blood immediately.

"The doctor said I'm sick. I have severe depression.

"I can't stop myself from wanting to–"

Gary waved his hand dismissively and cut me off.

"Depression? That's nonsense! You just read too many books and became overly sensitive!

"Jason jokingly said that you should help him buy a house in the future. He was kidding! Was that really worth trying to kill yourself over?

"Kids these days call everything depression. You've got too much free time!"

Marielle pulled over a chair and sat down. She chimed in.

"We fed you, clothed you, and paid for you to get into Crownstone College. What else could you possibly be unhappy about?

"Jason isn't very bright. He'll have to work in manual labor for the rest of his life. So what if we favor him a little more?

"You're his older sister. Can't you just give in to him? Do you have to tear this family apart to be happy?"

'Give in.'

Those two words had weighed me down for fifteen years.

I turned onto my side. I was too exhausted to keep talking.

"You should both leave. I want to be alone."

Gaey sneered and kicked the bed frame.

"Fine. Stay here then!

"Figure out how you'll pay your own medical bills. We just paid Jason's vocational school sponsorship fee. We don't have money to waste on your nonsense!

"Get discharged tomorrow and stop wasting money on a hospital bed!"

The door slammed shut.

Curled beneath the blanket, I let my tears soak into the sheets.

Under my pillow, my shattered phone began vibrating.

I answered.

A man's hurried breathing came from the other end. He couldn't hide his panic.

"Jess? How are you?

"Don't do anything silly. Your parents are still here!"

Hearing the anxious voices of my young parents, I bit down hard on my lip.

But a sob still escaped.

My young mom snatched the phone. She was crying so hard her voice trembled.

"Sweetheart, why are you crying? Who bullied you?

"Did we fail to protect you? Tell me!"

I pressed the phone tightly against my ear and whispered, "It was you two–"

'Eighteen years ago, you could tell I was hurting from a single sob.'

'Why is it that you can't see the pain I'm in at all now?"

"Do you really want to know?"

I swallowed the bitterness in my throat.

"Do you really want to know how the little girl you once treasured survived these past eighteen years?"