The Captain I Shouldn't Want

SERA’S POV:

“How long is this going to take?”

I tossed another scrambled piece of paper into the bin next to my bed that soon got to a grave of failed confessions.

My face fell into my palms.

It's the last day of the break and I can’t bring myself to do this?

All my years, I’ve bottled up emotions that I didn’t dare confess.

“It’s easy” they said but no one talks about the pain that comes with confessing to a guy that happens to be your own best friend.

“What? We’ve been close for years, why panic now? You’ve said worse things in front of him? Why get shy over a simple ‘I like you?” I scolded myself.

I sat up and began writing another letter to “Dear Devin”

Crestmont Academy of arts and athletics hadn’t been a really good place for me but with Devin, I could go through the days without feeling lonely. Though we belonged to different clubs, we still found a way to meet, but someone always interrupted us.

“Sera!” a voice called from outside. I put the papers away immediately

Maki came into our room “What are you doing here?” she asked

“Just trying to do something before classes start” I said.

She stepped closer and tried to look at what I was doing

“EH! You’re going to confess to Devin?” she teased.

I gave up. Maki’s really nosy, even if I denied it, she wouldn’t stop talking.

“Not exactly confess” I rolled my eyes then she let out a laughter that made me feel attacked

“Are you mocking me?” she asked

“No my friend, just that, why start a letter letter with “Dear Devin, you should know more than that” she said

“You my friend are very clueless about love” she took my pen and marked down a few things in the letter

“Much better, at least Devin won’t feel like he’s reading some kind of essay” she grabbed her bag “And stop with the unnecessary metaphors, please” she said.

I stood up to my feet

“Where are you going? We have classes tonight” she said

“I told the Coach already, I won’t be back in a few days” Maki said “Good luck” she left the dorm soon.

My eyes shifted to my reflection in the mirror. I almost scared myself to death with that messy hair and pair of glasses.

I’m not a nerd but I sure am close to one.

I looked back at the letter and sighed

“Fine, I’ll write it again for the hundredth time today” I muttered.

At night, right before our ballet class, my mum called

“I can’t move tomorrow, maybe in a few days” I said

“Are you sure you want to move out of the dorm, darling?” she asked while I put on my dress

“Yes mum, it’s my decision and I know what’s best” I replied

“I trust you” she hung up.

After tying my hair up in a bun, I left my room for class.

As one of the best ballerinas in class, the hatred was direct but I wouldn’t give a shit either.

Anna, the school’s queen card always found something to complain about and of course It always involved me

“You keep messing up Sera” she called out, making everyone turn to me.

“What do you mean? I did it right” I replied. She closed the distance between us, almost like she wanted a kiss. I held my face back

“If you don’t want this anymore, no one’s forcing you.” She looked down at me “You could give a chance to freshmen who have way more potential” she hissed before heading towards the door “Take five!” she announced.

I stood still, everyone already curling to the various stretching positions

“Sera, you should really not get on Anna’s nerves” one began

“Yes, if I were you, I’d avoid her completely, at least leave ballet class to her” they laughed among themselves.

I left the class for the night, refusing to listen to any other word about Anna.

~Next morning

I had woken up early enough to watch the gates to the academy open. Luckily, I could see the gates from my dorm, though it was far.

I clutched the letter in my hand but after waiting for a long time, there was no sign of him.

I stared at my phone, hoping it’d ring soon. But when I couldn’t wait anymore, I called first

“Tell me you’ll be coming back to the academy today” I asked. He chuckled slightly

“I’m back” he said.

Hearing that, my heart jumped. I looked out the window but the students were many, it was difficult to spot Devin in the crowd.

I sprinted down to the academy grounds and searched through the students for Devin.

Just when I took my phone to call again, I heard a loud call

“Devin!”

I knew that voice. I spun around to see then I caught sight of Anna.

She ran through the crowd, her hair jumping over her shoulder like a run-away princess.

She headed towards Devin who miraculously appeared from the crowd. She jumped at him into an embrace, her hands swung around his neck. And Devin? He held her up.

My lips parted at that scene. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. I saw it, everyone else saw it.

And look at that smile, he sure was having it.

For a split second, Devin’s eyes caught mine. That smile faltered for half a second, then, I turned to leave before anyone could spot me. I walked towards the academy building and headed straight for class.

When I realized I was alone, I stopped running and paused to catch my breath.

Replaying that scene in my head, my breathing got heavier, my grip tightened on the paper in my hand.

Anna. That crazy bitch!

She was always the problem. The reason why I haven’t been able to bring myself to talk to Devin about how I felt, she was always there and Devin allowed it. He always allowed her

“After all, we’re friends” he said. Friends don’t look at each other like that!