Chapter One— You're fired!

Deborah's POV

You'll miss the sun when it starts to snow. 

We all know that saying, but some of us don't fully understand it. It needs to be experienced first. Imagine the last thing you told your parents were… Fuck off. I cringe as I remember those words falling out my mouth. I wish I could tell them that I didn't mean it. I wish they were still here to see how sorry I am.

I stood frozen before the headstones my breath fogging in the cold air. I slowly sank to my knees and my hands trembled as they brushed dirt and fallen leaves from the graveyard names, my heart clenched at the sight of them. It was like a final glance, an unforgiving one.

A sob clawed it's way up my throat and I pressed my forehead to the cement stone and whispered, “Mama… Papa…” My voice cracked. It was fragile and uneven. “I am so sorry.”

Tears slipped freely now dripping into the stone as if I could bring them back with the salt of my sorrows. “I am sorry… I shouldn't have left, leaving was the greatest mistake I have ever made.” 

My fingers dug into the cold damp earth, grounding me in a grief to heavy to bear. “Do you know what hurts the most?” I chocked out, lifting my tear strained face to the stone. “You guys were my safety, my home and I walked away from it. Like anything could ever replace it in the world.”

“I'll give anything to hear your voice again, but now all I have is regrets.”

A sharp wind blew through the graveyard, carrying with it the faint scent of damp earth and withered flowers. My chest aches with the thought that they could possibly hear me.

Just maybe.

That somewhere, beyond the silence in the grave they listened.

The memory of home came in my mind. The warmth of my mother's laughter echoing in the kitchen, the smell of my father's cologne clinging to the worn leather chair in the study room. Back then, the walls had felt suffocating, too small. I wanted freedom, I want to build my own legacy, but kneeling down here now in the graveyard all I could feel was emptiness.

“Deborah,” Ellie said bringotng me back to reality. “We need to go.”

She stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder. It felt warm and comforting. I put a hand over my mouth and let out a small sob.

“It's the first time I have seen them in years.” I cry out which made Ellie kneel beside me and hugged me. She brought me up to my feet whilst holding both my hands.

“I am so sorry, D.” The remorse in her voice almost made me cry again but I had to restrain my self. I had to get ready emotionally for the day.

We walked through the graveyard the morning still crisp as I slipped into the passenger seat of Ellie's beat up sedan. She was my best friend. She has been here for me since high school.

“What's wrong?” She asks as I notice I have been staring at her for a while. “You look like someone stole your last cookie.”

“More like my whole bakery,” I said slowly tugging the corner of my lips, trying to light up the mood I had set.

“Hmmm, I am here for you, just remember that.” She pulled away from the curb. Her fingers drummed against the steering wheel as she drove, her contagious energy refusing to dim. “It's just another shift you'll get through it.”

I sighed. I didn't like working there but I had no other choice.

I looked out the window as buildings slid by. “Yeah, another shift.” She could tell that my tone carried the weight of someone clinging to routine just to survive.

When we reached the bar, Ellie parked and turned to me with a small smile. “Relax, shoulders back head high and remember if anyone does anything funny-”

“Thank you for the lecture, Mum,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But hopefully that won't happen again.”

“Alright dear, see ya later.” 

I chuckled faintly and climbed out and waved back at Ellie as she drove off.

Inside, the bar was already alive with the smell of fried food, the clatter of glasses and the low hum of chatter filling the air. I tied on my apron, smoothed my hair back and slipped into the rhythm that I knew instinctively. Serving drinks, carrying plates, smiling politely no infact correction, fake smiling at customers who sometimes took a little too long. Efficiency and hard work was my motto.

“Debbie,” Ryan called over, “Table six needs and another round.”

“Got it,” I replied, balancing a tray as I woved through the crowd. Someone would think I was born to do this, that it was in my DNA, but really and truly I am just a fast learner. Everything was going well like I was almost lost in the normal routine untill a voice broke it my flow.

“Brown, my office now.” 

That voice sent shivers down my spine. I knew that eventually this was coming.

This was inevitable.

Mr Harrison tone was sharp his eyes following me with a weight that made my skin crawl. I hesitated at first, but then I set the tray down and followed him to the office.

Once I was inside the door clicked shut behind me. The room was small, cluttered with papers and the faint smelt of alcohol lingered in the air. Harrison leaned against his desk, his tie loosened and a disgusting smirk spread across his face.

He frowned a little meaning he must have noticed my look. “You have been working here for a while now,” he said, his eyes dragging over me that made my stomach twist. “I must say you have become very valuable to me and to the bar.”

“Erm, thank you?” There was a confused look on my face. I had been so distracted by trying to find out what he meant that I didn't even notice he stepped forward a little.

“You dear… deserve a raise, but everything comes at a price.” There it was. The lust in his eyes. His eyes glanced over me and believe me when I tell you this you'd have to be the strongest person ever to hold back the rising bile in my throat.

“And i-if I-I say I don't want a raise?” I can't believe he's making me stutter. This disgusting slob of a man, and to think I actually respected him because he has never ever done this. Or at least that's what I have heard. Someone old enough to be my grandfather probably is trying to make a move on me? 

“Come on dear, don't be like that.” 

Now he was uncomfortably close. He invaded my personal space and I could smell the liquor from his mouth. Isn't it too early for this? I work at a bar but I am yet to stand the smell of alcohol up close like this invading my space.

In an attempt to get away from him, I look behind him. “Is that a blue pin I see on the wall?” I walk over there and observe this astonishing object. “I have never seen one up close, they say it matches the heavens.” I pull it from the wall and observe it like someone who has just made a discovery.

“What…?” There it was. The confused look on his face almost made me laugh but I had to keep it in harder than ever. Always a way to put them off by saying random stupid things. He walks towards me and removed a brown envelope that was nearly torn due to the content in it. “Life becomes easier if you just give in.” He tried making his voice huskier. Imagine a 60 year old man trying that. Would you vomit or laugh if you were in my shoes? Or maybe it's just me. What is it about me that allows innocent men to hit on me? He has a wife and kids that comes here occasionally. He seemed happily married. Oh God I hope I haven't done anything to change the way he felt about his wife just by me working here. I could tell he was checking me out a few times but-

“Come on baby, why don't we go a few rounds?” He says while caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. I slap his hand away instinctively. I've had my first but this isn't how I planned to have my second. Not with him anyway. “Sir if there's anything else?” I walk past him brushing his shoulder on purpose. That's when something pushes me and I trip because of the chair and I fall over. In a heartbeat he was on top of me. I started screaming and kicking my feet in the air and punching him with all my might but he wouldn't budge.

He was like this heavy load on me, probably weighed gallons. That's how this felt. He covers my mouth with his hand and puts his knee on the other.

Smart move.

“Shhh, no one can hear you here.” 

I found that hard to believe. He curved over with his head just close enough to me. The sudden spike in adrenaline told me that this was my chance. Out of nowhere I headbutt him. He groaned in pain as I connected with his nose. He freed one of my arms as he tried to bring comfort to that pig nose of his and I reach out grab hold of his balls.

Now the tables turn in my favor.

“You would want to get up unless you don't value your little man hood any more.” My tone was cold and sharp. It had to be. But behind all that I had to hide the fear. I was trembling on the inside with the thought of what he was about to do to me breaking through.

Slowly, he gets up which allowed me to get up, but I didn't let go of my leverage. No not yet.

“Let's forget about all this,” he pleaded looking down which made me smile.

“Now you want to stop. Unfortunately, I am just getting started,” I scoffed, giving him a piercing glare. The audacity of some men. 

“Please,” he squealed. I could see the pain in his eyes and sense it in his voice as I grabbed harder nearly squeezing it. 

But I am not done here, when I am done this is going to be my fourth job in about two months? I can't tell, I don't keep count really. I squeezed it and yanked so hard which made him give out a load shout.

He doubled over and curled on the floor with a strangled groan, his face red with shock and fury. 

“Next time you touch me, I'll make sure that thing will be chopped off,” I spat my voice trembling with rage and fury. I threw off my apron leaving it on the floor and stormed out.

By the time I reached the bar floor, Harrison's roar followed me. “You're fired, Brown! Don't you ever come back here!”

The customers turned watching the scene unfold but I didn't slow down. Although my chest heaved and my hands shook, I kept my head high as I pushed out into the daylight.

As the rays of the warm sun hit me, for the first time beside the sting of fresh unemployment…

I am free