Chapter 4

Leaving day. Before dawn, the Northern Passage papers came through. I also submitted my resignation as Luna to the elders.

I was ready to take Finn and leave right then.

But Finn pulled out a ticket from the cabinet—the Moon Festival Carnival pass Damon had given him long ago. The date on it was today.

"Mom, can we wait till afternoon?" He pinched the corner of the ticket. "Last time."

I looked at him and didn't say no.

Eight in the morning, Damon came back. The moonstone pendant was no longer in his hand. He acted like nothing from last night had happened, pulling out three carnival wristbands.

"Three o'clock. Meet at the entrance."

Finn stared at him. "You remembered?"

"Of course."

"Just the three of us?"

Damon paused. "Just us."

Finn didn't smile. He just put the wristband on.

After Damon left, I changed our Northern train tickets to 4:30 pm. The carnival was only ten minutes from Central Station. If he actually showed up, Finn could at least have one real goodbye.

At noon, we cleared out the room. I left behind my Luna pin and the pack seal. Finn placed the mechanical wolf in the most visible spot. He pressed the button one last time.

"Finnie, wait till Daddy's done..."

The mechanical voice echoed through the empty room. Finn turned it off.

"Not waiting this time."

2:40 pm. We arrived at the carnival entrance. Fathers were hoisting pups onto their shoulders. Finn stood at the edge of the crowd, glancing at the intersection every few seconds.

3:00 pm. Damon didn't show up.

3:05 pm. My phone rang.

"Elara, Nico fell out of a tree." Damon's voice was rushed. "I have to take him to the clinic."

I looked at Finn in the distance. "Is it serious?"

"Scraped knee. The physician said it's nothing major. "

"Then are you coming?"

Silence on the other end. Then Serena's sobs bled through. "Damon, Nico keeps grabbing onto you. He's really scared."

Damon lowered his voice. "You guys go in. I'll head over once this is handled."

"How long?"

"Elara, don't push me right now. Nico's only six."

I let out a laugh. "So is Finn."

Damon said nothing.

I hung up.

Finn didn't ask. He'd already read it in my face.

"Still Nico, right?"

"Yeah."

He pulled off his wristband. "Then let's go to the station."

"You don't want to wait ten more minutes?"

Finn looked at the giant moon goddess statue above the entrance. "Ten minutes from now, he'll still be Nico's Damon. He won't turn into my dad."

I took his hand. We didn't walk into the carnival.

3:20 pm. The train to the North began boarding. Damon sent a message.

[The physician said Nico's fine.]

[I'm on my way.]

[Tell Finn to wait for me.]

I didn't reply.

Finn sat in the waiting area, scrolling through photos on his tablet. The first one: Damon holding him as a newborn. The second: father and son building a snow den together. The third: Damon teaching him to read pack territory maps. Back then, Finn's smile had curved so wide his eyes disappeared.

"Mom, did he ever love me?"

"He did."

"Then why doesn't he choose me now?"

I crouched down and pulled him close. "It's not that you're not worth it. He's just not worthy of your waiting."

Finn leaned against my shoulder. He didn't move for a long time.

The final boarding announcement came over the speakers. He lifted his head and pressed delete all.

4:30 pm. The train pulled out of Ashford territory. The city lights blurred past the window.

A tearing pain ripped through my chest. The moon was rising. The Mate Bond trembled violently, like someone was gripping me through flesh and blood, yanking me back.

That was Damon's panic. The first time in a month I'd felt him so clearly through the silent bond—afraid.

But by the time he finally felt the ache, we were already gone.

His voice cut through the Mind Link.

[Elara, where are you?]

[Why is the house empty?]

[Where's Finn?]

I pulled out the vial I'd gotten from the witch, tipped it back, and drank.

The liquid burned down my throat. Then my chest exploded—like a hand had reached through my ribs and ripped that tangled bond apart at the root. I bit down on my lip until blood filled my mouth. I didn't stop.

A second later, the Mate Bond snapped.

Damon's voice went dead.

The world went quiet.

I said I was taking Finn and leaving.

We owed Damon nothing. Not anymore.