Chapter 4

Kung sasabihin mo sa’kin last week na ikakasal ako ng 10 AM, on a random Wednesday, naka-off-white na dress na in-order ko lang online… tatawanan lang talaga kita.

As in, ‘yung tawang may halong, “Girl, okay ka lang?”

Pero heto ako ngayon, nakatayo sa harap ng malabong salamin sa city hall restroom, sinisilip kung pantay ba ‘yung lipstick ko at kung may natira pa bang dignidad sa bangs kong ayaw makisama.

Yung ilaw sa taas, ‘yung fluorescent na parang pagod na sa buhay, kumikindat-kindat. Parang sinasabi, “Good luck, girl.”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

Kaya mo ‘to, Alex.

Tumunog bigla ang phone ko. Message from Mr. Efficiency himself.

Callisto: Parking. Be there in two.

Wala parin hello, walang good morning, walang emoji.

Tinitigan ko muna ‘yung screen sandali, gusto kong matawa na parang gusto ko na ring umatras. He actually meant it. This is happening. In two minutes.

Sinuksok ko ang phone sa bag ko at tiningnan ulit ang sarili sa salamin.

“Okay,” sabi ko sa repleksyon ko. “Let’s ruin our life with style.”

Bumukas ang pinto, at sumilip ‘yung staff ng city hall.

“Ms. Sy? The ceremony will start soon.”

Tumango ako. “Sige, coming.”

Naglakad ako sa hallway, at pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili ko. Hindi ako kinakabahan. Hindi rin excited. Parang may kabog lang sa dibdib na hindi ko malagyan ng label, maybe gutom lang, o kulang sa kape. Or maybe existential dread disguised as hunger.

Pagpasok ko sa maliit na courtroom, nakita ko na nga siya. Si Callisto Maxim.

As usual, naka-dark suit. Walang tie. Parang allergic sya sa formality, at ‘yung presensiya niyang may parang sariling gravity.

He looked up the moment I entered, his eyes scanning me from head to toe.

“You’re on time,” sabi niya.

“Try not to sound too surprised,” sagot ko habang nakataas ang isang kilay.

Bahagyang kumislot ‘yung labi niya.

“You look… appropriate.”

“Appropriate?” inulit ko, sabay tawa. “Wow. Such romance. Na-touch talaga ako, grabe.”

“It’s a compliment,” seryoso pa rin niyang sagot.

“Sure,” sabi ko, sabay irap nang palihim.

Sa tabi niya, nando’n si Daniel, ‘yung assistant niya na parang laging handang mag-type at mag-notes kahit walang meeting. He held a clipboard like he was about to launch a board meeting, not to witness a marriage.

Tapos ‘yung staff, mukhang pinipigilan matawa.

Ang officiant naman, matanda na, mabait ang mukha. Tipong sanay na sa mga weird na ikinakasal.

“Mr. Maxim, Ms. Sy,” sabi niya. “Are you both ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” sagot ko.

“Yes,” sagot ni Callisto without effort, walang emosyon.

Na parang ang sinasabi nya lang ay ‘Let’s start the meeting.’

“All right,” sabi ng officiant, nakangiti. “Let’s begin.”

At doon na nagsimula ‘yung pinaka-weird na kasal sa kasaysayan ng mundo.

Names, signatures, legal phrases na parang pang-Excel formula at palitan ng singsing.

“Do you, Alexandra Reign Sy, take Callisto Maxim—”

“Yes.”

Hindi pa nga tapos si manong officiant, siningitan ko na.

“—to have and to hold—”

“Yes ulit.”

Napailing siya. “Miss, hayaan niyo po munang matapos—”

“Yes,” ulit ko pa rin, sabay ngiti.

Tumikhim si Callisto, halatang pinipigilang matawa.

At nang siya naman ang tinanong, ang bilis din ng sagot.

“Yes.”

Si Daniel at ‘yung staff nagkatinginan. Yung tingin na parang nagtatanong sa isa’t isa, “Nababaliw na ba silang dalawa?”

Nang hawak ko na ‘yung pen, sandali akong tumigil bago pumirma.

‘Alexandra Reign Sy-Maxim.’

Napatitig ako sa nakasulat sa papel. Nakakapanibago, parang napakabigat na responsibilidad to nung nakita ko nang nakakabit ang apelyido nya sa pangalan ko.

“Congratulations,” sabi ng officiant. “You’re now legally married.”

Nagpalakpak si Daniel, isang beses lang at awkward pa. Habang yung staff naman, ngiting-ngiti, parang kinikilig pa.

Nagulat ako ng magsalita ulit yung officiang ng line na hindi ko in-expect na magiging awkward in real life.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Katahimikan, parehas kami na hindi ito inaasahan. Literal na narinig ko ‘yung pintig ng fluorescent light.

Tumingin ako kay Callisto. “Do we have to?” mahina kong tanong.

“It’ll look strange if we don’t,” mahina niyang sagot, halos bulong.

At bago pa ako makapag-react, lumapit siya. Yung tipo ng lakad na may sariling background music kahit wala naman talaga.

Naamoy ko agad ang kanyang cologne paglapit niya. And then he suddenly reached for my hand, and for a second, nakalimutan kong huminga.

Hinawakan nya ako sa may panga at tumingin sya sa mga mata ko. Maya maya pa ay unti unti nang lumapit sa akin ang kanyang mukha hanggang sa magdikit ang mga labi namin.

Hindi malalim at hindi rin matagal.

Just a quiet, steady kiss na parang checkmark lang sa kontrata.

When he pulled back, blangko nanaman ang kanyang expression, hindi ko mabasa kung anong nasa isip nya.

“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Maxim,” sabi ng officiant.

Huminga ako nang malalim, nagkunwaring chill kahit obvious na hindi.

“Thanks. Do we, uh, get a receipt for this or…?”

Daniel almost choked suppressing his laughter. Si Callisto naman, napatingin sa kanya na parang sinasabing, ‘Laugh and I deduct your salary.’

The officiant just smiled. “You’ll get your certificate in a few minutes.”

Habang tinatapos nila ‘yung papeles, umupo ako sa gilid, pinagmamasdan siya.

“How does it feel to be married?” tanong ko.

He checked his watch. “Good.”

“That’s your answer?”

“This was never about feelings, Alexandra. You knew that.”

“Yeah,” sabi ko. “Trying to lighten the mood lang naman.”

“It doesn’t need lightening. It needs structure.”

I laughed. “Wow. Marriage with spreadsheets. Revolutionary.”

He ignored me, signing the rest of the forms with his neat CEO handwriting.

Grabe, pati pirma niya parang may disiplina. Ako naman, halos mabura na ‘yung lipstick ko kakahinga ng malalim.

After a few minutes, the clerk approached me. “Here’s your copy, Mrs. Maxim.”

Nung narinig ko ‘yun, at bigla akong napatigil.

‘Mrs. Maxim.’

What a weird thing to hear out loud.

“Uh, thanks,” sabi ko, pilit na ngiti.

Callisto offered his arm, formal na formal. “Shall we?”

“You’re really taking this seriously,” I said, hooking my arm around his.

“I take everything seriously. It’s the only way things work.”

“Good to know,” I muttered. “Can’t wait for the quarterly marriage report.”

Paglabas namin ng building, tinamaan agad kami ng sikat ng araw. Perfect lighting for emotional confusion.

May ilang tao pang tumingin sa’min, siguro akala nila minimalist couple kami na nagpakasal nang walang venue at budget.

Kung alam lang nila, hindi lang budget ang wala, pati commitment borrowed lang.

“Congratulations again, sir,” sabi ni Daniel, trying not to grin.

“Thank you,” sagot ni Callisto, monotone pa rin.

Then his phone buzzed.

“Board meeting in an hour,” sabi niya.

“Of course,” sagot ko. “Wouldn’t want to miss the honeymoon we’re not having.”

Daniel coughed, halatang pinipigilang matawa.

Pagdating namin sa sasakyan, binuksan niya ‘yung pinto para sa’kin.

Black car, spotless interior. Very him.

He looked at me. “We’ll handle the move-in schedule later this week. Daniel will coordinate.”

“Right.” Umupo ako, tinatago ‘yung kaba sa likod ng sarcasm.

Sumakay siya, tahimik lang kami. Engine on, emotions off.

And as the city blurred past the window, na-realize ko na totoo na ‘to. Wala nang bawian. We actually did it nang mas mabilis pa sa pag-decide ko kung anong flavor ng o-orderin ko na milk tea.

“You did what you had to,” sabi niya habang nagmamaneho.

“Yeah,” sagot ko, tinanaw ‘yung skyline. “Just business.”

“Exactly.”

The way he said it. Mahinahon, pero final, parang may invisible period sa dulo.

And that was fine.

That’s all I needed it to be.