Chapter 5

“Welcome home,” sabi ni Callisto habang ibinababa niya ang maleta ko sa tabi ng sofa.

Home daw.

Kung ‘home’ ang tawag niya sa lugar na amoy disinfectant at mukhang art gallery.

“Home?” taas-kilay kong sagot, sabay lingon sa paligid. “Mas mukha itong luxury hospital, kung tutuusin.”

Tiningnan niya ako saglit, yung tipong ‘you’re being dramatic but I’ll let you have this moment’ kind of look. “I like things organized.”

“Organized,” inulit ko, sabay turo sa paligid. “There’s organized, and then there’s emotionally repressed. Guess which one this is.”

“I’m ignoring that,” sabi niya, walang kaemo-emosyon.

“Obviously,” sabay talikod ko.

Tahimik kong inikot ang sala. Ang linis, parang walang nakatira. Puti, itim, at kulay-abong mundo. Walang personality. Walang kalat. Walang buhay. Amoy lemon floor polish na may awkward silence. Parang kung sisigaw ako, mag-e-echo pa balik.

Malawak ang bintana, tanaw ang city skyline ng Makati, at ang sofa? Baka mas mahal pa sa kotse ko. Nakakainsecure.

“Where do I stay?” tanong ko, habang sinusundan ng tingin ang mga straight lines ng hallway.

“Second room on the right,” sagot niya. “Pinahanda ko na. May mga gamit na rin doon.”

“Gamit?”

“Toothbrush, towels, and… clothes. In your size,” dagdag niya, parang wala lang.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. “You bought me clothes?”

“You’ll need them for appearances,” kalmado niyang sagot.

“Right,” sabi ko, naka-cross arms. “So efficient of you.”

Bahagyang ngumisi ang gilid ng labi niya. “You’re learning.”

Napailing ako. Learning daw. Akala mo may training module ‘tong kasal na ‘to.

Tinalikuran ko siya bago pa ako mairita.

Pagpasok ko sa kwarto, hindi na ako nagulat, parang hotel ad. Putting bedsheet, neutral walls, isang vase na may white flower na parang pilit lang nilagay para magmukhang may buhay.

I sat down sa gilid ng kama, tumingin sa paligid, at napabuntong-hininga.

Kakatok pa lang sana ako sa kaharap kong existential crisis nang kumatok din siya sa pinto.

“Come in,” sabi ko.

Pumasok siya, may hawak na maliit na black card. “Access key mo. Elevator and building security.”

“Thanks,” sabi ko, sabay abot.

Parang nag-aalangan siyang magsalita pa, pero tinuloy niya rin. “Dinner’s at seven. Pinadeliver ko na groceries.”

“Ah, okay. So… you cook?”

“Rarely.”

“Figures,” sabi ko, sabay ngiti. “So anong plano mo sa dinner?”

Tumingin siya sa akin na parang tanga ako. “I hadn’t planned that far.”

Napailing ako. “Right. Ako na lang. Baka mamatay tayo sa air and efficiency mo.”

“Fine,” he said, parang nagbigay lang ng go signal sa empleyado nya.

Pagkaalis niya, napahiga ako ulit at tumingin sa kisame.

‘Alexandra Reign Sy-Maxim’, nag-echo nanaman yan sa tenga ko.

Living under the same roof as a man whose version of affection is probably a signed contract. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ako o maiiyak.

Pagdating ng alas-siete, may dinner na sa mesa. Simple lang, may pasta, salad, at wine na nakita ko lang sa counter.

Cooking was… grounding.

At least ‘yung kitchen niya malaki, may space para gumalaw at mag-pretend na may control pa ako sa buhay ko.

Dumating siya sakto sa oras, sleeves rolled up, may hawak pang phone.

“You ordered food?” tanong niya.

“Wow, what a sexist assumption,” sabi ko. “I cooked.”

Huminto siya, parang nag-glitch pa. “You… cooked.”

“Shocking, I know. Try not to faint.”

Pinatay niya yung phone, tumingin sa mesa. “You didn’t have to.”

“I was hungry,” sabi ko, umupo sa upuan.

“At hindi ako maghihintay sa efficient takeout plan mo.”

Napangiti siya ng konti. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Tahimik kaming kumain. Hindi naman uncomfortable or awkward. More like… cautious? Yung tipong both of us are pretending this is normal.

Tumunog bigla yung phone ko, si Tessa nanaman.

Of course. Bibigyan ko na ng award tong babae na ‘to eh. Sakto lagi sa timing.

“Hey,” sagot ko, habang pinipilit maging kalmado.

“Alex! Saan ka ba? Si Luca is worried! You’ve been MIA for days na!”

“Busy lang… work stuff,” sabi ko, habang sinisipat ko si Callisto na parang nag-eenjoy sa mga eksena.

“Work? Girl, you don’t even like your job.”

Nagtaas ng kilay si Callisto. Hindi ko siya pinansin.

“What’s that sound?” Tessa asked. “Plates? Are you eating with someone?”

“Ha? N-No! TV lang ‘yan!” sabi ko, overacting pa.

Callisto looked up with amusement in his eyes.

I mouthed, ‘Don’t you dare.’

“Liar. I could almost hear a man’s voice…”

And then it happened.

Callisto, in his calm CEO tone, said, “Evening, Tessa.”

My soul? Gone. Deleted.

Halos malaglag ko yung phone.

“Wait,” sabi ni Tessa, suddenly suspicious.

“Was that Callisto? Why is he there?”

“He, uh…” Pinagpawisan ako. “Needed help with…”

“Dinner,” sabat ni Callisto, cool as ever. “We had to discuss a joint project.”

Tiningnan ko siya, ‘joint project?’

He ignored me, the audacity.

“Since when do you two work together?”

“Since now!” mabilis kong sagot. “Anyway, gotta go, the…uh…pasta’s burning, bye!”

Binaba ko agad, before she could cross-examine me further.

“‘The pasta’s burning?’” tanong ni Callisto, halatang pinipigilan tumawa.

“Shut up.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I’m an excellent liar,” balik ko. “You’re just too… distracting.”

That shut him up.

And for a few seconds, tahimik lang kami.

Pero ‘yung tahimik na may static. Yung mga tingin niya, mabigat. At ako, nagmamagaling pa rin kahit ramdam ko na yung kaba sa dibdib ko.

Bago ko pa masira yung moment, tumayo na ako. “I’ll wash the dishes.”

“I’ll help,” sabi niya.

“You don’t have to.”

“I insist.”

Ayaw nya yata masira yung aesthetic ng kitchen nya, kaya heto kami, side by side, naghuhugas ng plato sa kusinang mas malinis pa sa konsensya niya. Under warm lights, pretending like this was normal.

And honestly? It almost felt like ‘normal’.

Nang matapos kami, tumingin siya sa akin. “We handled that well.”

“What? The call?”

“The situation.”

“Ah, yung situation kung saan muntik nang mabuking ng best friend ko na we’re fake married? Yeah, fantastic job.”

“We didn’t get caught,” sagot niya kalmado.

“Barely,” sabi ko.

He handed me the towel, straight face pa rin. “Still counts.”

Napailing ako. “You really think in bullet points, no?”

He smiled faintly. “It’s efficient.”

“There it is again,” sabi ko, tumatawa. “You seriously need a new word.”

“Find me one,” he said.

I opened my mouth to reply, but then napansin ko kung gaano siya kalapit.

Not too close, pero just enough for me to smell the faint scent of soap and his cologne.

His eyes flicked down, then back to mine. But something in that look made my pulse skip.

Then he stepped back.

As if may invisible line between us na bawal lampasan.

“I’ll be in my office,” sabi niya. “You can use the TV if you want.”

“Right,” sabi ko. “Good talk, husband.”

He let out a soft laugh before walking away.

Pagkaalis niya, napasandal ako sa counter, hawak pa rin ‘yung basang dish towel.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

Marriage, I realized, wasn’t about love.

It’s about coexistence.

Yung tipong kailangan mong matutong mabuhay sa tabi ng taong hindi mo maintindihan, pero gusto mo parin subukang intindihin.

I’m learning to live with someone whose silence said more than words ever could.

And right now, his silence was loud.

Too loud.