Chapter 4: Failing Expectations

The dressing room was quite small, with costumes used by the theater group placed on one side and a long wall-mounted mirror on the other. Two sofas were somehow fitted inside the room and it was there that we saw the members of The Decadence of The Fallen.

I. Must. Be. Dreaming. Somebody pinch me!

They were all absolutely gorgeous. Now I totally get why so many girls fall completely head over heels for them. Good looks plus musical talent equals The Decadence of The Fallen. That was probably the band's formula for fame and success. Of course, until now I was still guessing about the musical talent part since I haven't actually seen them perform yet...and I will. But right now I was just completely mesmerized by them as I looked over to my side and found Leslie, drooling along with me.

The guy wearing a preppy blue sweater placed his electric guitar on the sofa and began to approach us. He had this boyish charm and had a smile that could rival that of a toothpaste model's.

"Josh," I faintly hear Leslie say as she blushed uncontrollably.

"Hi! I'm Joshua Dominic Chua, the lead guitarist. Everyone calls me Josh but you can call me JD." he said while reaching out his hand towards me.

"I'm Madison Rain Rivera," I said nervously, reaching for his hand and giving him an awkward handshake. Oh, no. My hand is all sweaty. How embarrassing! But JD didn't seem to notice my nervousness though, as he moved towards Leslie's direction to give her a handshake as well. What a relief!

At this point, Leslie looked as if she was about to faint at any moment! Please, keep it together Les...for both our sakes. Knowing her history with band members, she could very well faint in front of JD at any time. Actually, I was even more nervous this time than when he was about to shake my hand.

He reached for her hand slowly while everything was going in slow motion for me as I waited for her reaction. But thankfully, Leslie was able to keep it together and saved us both from embarrassment, somehow introducing herself along the way. Good job, Les!

This time, the guy who was holding a bass guitar and the one twirling a pair of drum sticks approached us. Oh no, Les! Not again!

"Hi, I'm Warren dela Cuesta the bassist and this is my cousin, Sebastian dela Cuesta. He's subbing for us since we haven't found a permanent drummer yet," he explained to both Leslie and me. Warren was quite charming and had a really outgoing personality. I'm guessing that he was the fan favorite.

"Bash. Call me Bash. Sebastian's just way too formal. Anyway, my last performance with the band's this Friday. So, come and watch us play," he said, smiling wryly at me.

Oh, so he's Sebastian! He seemed completely down to earth and had a really cool aura about him. The groupies earlier had not mentioned him though, I wonder why. Hey, wait a second! Did he just say last performance? What's he talking about?

"Oh, you're probably wondering why it's his last performance with us and the semeter's only starting. Bash is leaving for Connecticut in a few weeks since he got accepted at an Ivy League university there. Not to name drop or anything but our man Bash here got into Yale. And Uncle Henry's business is also expanding so Bash here's gonna be a big shot there but not before breaking a few hearts here," explained Warren with a grin on his face, as if reading my thoughts.

It's only the start of the semester started but Bash is already leaving? Wow, they don't even seem bothered by the fact that he'll be wasting a whole semester's worth of tuition! This just goes to show how wealthy their families really are because once you enroll at our school you won't get a refund and most students, if not all, already pay for the whole semester's tuition fee in advance. And he got into Yale as well? These guys really are living the good life.

"Just a few?" Bash quipped, interrupting my thoughts.

With that the dela Cuesta cousins started laughing together, easing the nervousness that I felt earlier. I glanced at Leslie and she looked calmer now thanks to Bash and Warren's amusing banter.

"By the way, did you guys need anything from us?" asked JD who was now standing beside the cousins.

"Yeah, there must be a good reason for you to risk getting through there," added Warren, pointing towards the closed door behind us, obviously referring to the madness outside.

Yeah. I almost forgot why we were here. Adrian's handkerchief!

I started to explain the whole situation, "Well...I was wondering if I could talk to Adrian. I want to return something to him."

"Oh, Adrian. Of course," said JD, looking somewhat disappointed. "Hey, Adrian! Someone's here to see you."

Then, from the sofa farther back, Adrian slowly stood up. Pen and paper in hand and an annoyed expression on his face, he started walking towards us. Was he in the middle of writing songs? Maybe we should just leave now...

As Adrian came nearer, my heart started racing. I was nervous earlier but now I was feeling excited as well.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly upon reaching me.

What did I want? Oh yeah, the handkerchief! I frantically searched for it inside my bag. "Here. I...I just wanted to thank you for helping me out earlier and return your handkerchief."

"I don't need it anymore. You should have just kept it and not wasted any of my time. If that's all you're here for then, you can leave now," Adrian said, turning away from me and making his way back to the sofa. Then he sat down and resumed writing as if he didn't care about anything else.

I stood there dumbfounded, not knowing how to react after that. I knew I shouldn't have come here. But why did he have to be so harsh in telling me those things? Did I do something wrong to make him dislike me that much?

With regret and confusion filling my mind, I put on a brave front as I tried to keep my tears from falling.

"I'm sorry about that. Adrian's just in one of his moods since he's writing new songs for Orientation Day," explained JD, apologetically. "If you want you can leave the handkerchief with me, then I'll just give it to him later."

I didn't know what to say and quietly lowered my head still holding the handkerchief. I knew that if I were to say anything now, I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Let's just leave it with JD and go," Les answered for me, taking the handkerchief from my clenched hand. This time, Leslie took control of the situation and led me towards the door.

Warren and Bash called out to us as we were leaving and apologized on Adrian's behalf as well. When Les opened the dressing room door, the group outside had completely dispersed.

After passing through the concert hall's exit, Les led me to the direction of the parking lot. Seeing the familiar gray Benz, that our family driver drove me to school in, somehow gave me comfort. Les helped me into the back seat and asked our driver to wait for her while she gets my shoes from my locker. Waiting quietly inside the car gave me the chance to regain my composure and clear my thoughts...

After five minutes, Leslie returned carrying a pink paper bag with my shoes inside. She got into the back seat with me and instructed our driver to take us home. It was a long drive and we were both quiet most of the way. But more than halfway through our drive, she decided to break the silence. "Maddie, I'd understand if you decided not to come to Orientation on Friday."

"No, I'm coming! I don't know what I did to make Adrian dislike me that much but I'm still gonna watch the band perform. After all, it's Bash's farewell gig."

"Are you sure about that? Gosh, I never knew Adrian could be such a jerk! He's a snob, everybody knew that but a snob and a jerk?! He just lost a fan in me."

Maybe that's what he wanted. To lose fans. To be left alone. I wanted to say these things to Les but I couldn't and instead I said, "Yes. I'm sure. Maybe he's just going through something, you know everyone has their bad days."

"Hey, wait! Why are you suddenly defending that guy? Don't tell me that you actually like him? Madison Rain Rivera, don't tell me that you're actually developing feelings for Adrian Lee?!" But before I could answer her, the car had stopped in front of Leslie's house.

"Well, if you're not gonna answer me then just make sure you can answer that question for yourself. Good night, Maddie," she said as she got off the car, giving me the pink paper bag and waving goodbye.

I waved back with Leslie's question stuck in my mind as we drove home. When I got home, my parents were waiting for me and we had dinner together. They asked me how my day was and I told them exactly how it went, but leaving Adrian and The Decadence of The Fallen out of it. I just didn't want to worry them with my problems.

That night, when I laid down in my bed I couldn't sleep. Was I really falling for Marcus Adrian Lee?

The next few days went by like a blur and soon Friday had come. Orientation Day. With conflicted feelings about Adrian plaguing me all throughout the week, I hesitantly entered the concert hall with Leslie. It was completely packed inside, mostly groupies and fans of The Decadence of The Fallen. But the great Leslie Soriano was still able to get us seats at the very first row near the stage.

There was a podium placed at the center of the stage where the president would give his welcome address to the students. The speech was very encouraging. It was received with warm applause by the whole student body.

But now, the stage was being set for The Decadence of The Fallen's performance as their fans waited with great anticipation. The podium was removed from the center and a drum set was set up in its place. Amplifiers were placed for the guitars. Microphones were tested. Wires were connected. These were the usual routines before a band started to play and I watched with great familiarity at the scene unfolding before me.

Soon enough the whole concert hall was in total darkness as silhouettes of the band members started appearing on stage. Bash appeared carrying his sticks; Warren holding his bass guitar; and JD clutching his customized electric guitar. As they started plugging in their instruments, I noticed that Adrian was nowhere in sight. Where was he? But just as I was thinking that, he suddenly appeared on stage as the lights slowly turned on.

The dim blue light revealed that they were all dressed in casual jeans and shirts. But with the exception of JD putting a gray cardigan on and Adrian wearing a black suit jacket over his shirt.

I waited with bated breath as Adrian walked towards the microphone stand and held onto it with his right hand. "Hi. I'm Adrian and we are The Decadence of The Fallen," he said with a somber expression before turning to introduce the rest of his bandmates, "On lead is JD, Warren is on bass, and Bash on drums. Our first song is something I wrote a few months ago and it's entitled Tears In The Rain..."

Bash then started setting the rhythm of the song with his sticks as JD played his guitar with Warren following his lead. After the short intro, Adrian began to sing.

"A year has passed since the day you left

But I know that I still haven't recovered yet...

It was raining that day

When I poured my heart out

And begged you to stay

But until now my heart is still dying

The tears are still coming...

Everyday it's still raining,

Will it ever stop falling?"

He sang with pain and torment still very evident in his voice. And I was on the verge of tears because of the song he was singing. Adrian carried so much pain in his heart and I wanted to comfort him and tell him that eventually his scars will heal and everything will be okay. As I looked around at the concert hall, almost everyone there had the same reaction as me. He was charismatic when he sang but he had this effect on people and made them feel exactly how he was feeling.

As he continued to sing, Adrian took his mic off the stand and started walking towards the edge of the stage. The crowd cheered wildly as he went down and I knew that almost everyone there was secretly wishing that he would come and sing to them...I was no exception.

I liked Adrian. That was the answer to Leslie's question. I've never felt this way about anybody before. Maybe what I felt was something more, but for now at least, I was willing to admit that I had butterflies in my stomach whenever I thought about him...

Adrian was now heading towards my direction, as I started to feel myself blush. What if he liked me too? Maybe that was the reason why he was so mean to me before. I smiled to myself with these thoughts in mind. As our eyes met, he reached out his left hand while still holding the mic in his right.

I instinctively stood up and reached out my hand to him as he came nearer. Adrian...I'm really happy!

Then when he was only a few inches away, he reached for the hand of the woman sitting behind me, singing to her and taking her up on stage.

I saw everyone's piercing stares at me and heard them whispering amongst themselves, as if to mock me. Adrian continued singing up on stage, completely oblivious of the crowd's reaction. It could either be because he didn't notice or he just didn't care.

I couldn't take it anymore as I ran towards the exit, letting my tears fall freely. I heard Les calling out to me but I continued running through the double doors of the concert hall, slamming it shut behind me. I pressed my back against one of the doors and collapsed onto the floor. I didn't even care that I was wearing my new pink dress and just let myself cry, hoping that my tears would lessen the pain and embarrassment that I felt.

Les soon followed after me, rushing through the other door. "Maddie, get up. Let's just leave okay?"

"O...O-kay," I managed to say in between sobs.

She helped me up, fixing my dress and taking me straight home. At that point, all I could do was rely on Leslie because all strength had escaped my body. My parents weren't home when we arrived and I didn't want to be alone so Les decided to accompany me to my room. When we got there, she didn't ask any questions and just let me fall into bed and cry. Les was just there to comfort me. Without her, I would probably still be crying outside the concert hall's doors.

After crying for several hours, I somehow managed to calm myself enough and tell Leslie to ask our driver to take her home because it was getting late.

"When you're ready to talk about it, you know where to find me," Les said, giving me a hug and hesitantly leaving me with a worried look on her face.

I nodded and waved goodbye as she left me inside my room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

How could I be so stupid and assume that he liked me too? Why couldn't I bring myself to hate him after all the things he's done to me? And why did I have to fall for someone like Marcus Adrian Lee?