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The Decadence of The Fallen
最終更新日 : 2023-02-16
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Marcus Adrian Lee. Adrian. Just saying your name makes my heart race so fast that I could barely breathe. I never wanted to fall for you...but I did. It was a cliché really, but I just couldn't help myself. I'm not sure if was your subtle charm or that certain sadness in your voice that drew me to you but all I know is that you're a habit that I could never kick. Will you ever see me the way that I saw you? Will I ever have the courage to finally admit my unrequited feelings? And will the day ever come when I'll finally be able to hear the words, "Madison Rain Rivera, I am in love with you, too."? Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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Prologue: Thinking Out Loud
There will always be that one guy that you would constantly be pining for but never truly have.
That one guy that you would change your hairstyle for, hoping that he'd somehow notice. That one guy that you would spend sleepless nights thinking about, wondering if he's doing the same thing about you. That one guy that you secretly loved from afar, wishing that maybe someday he would somehow reciprocate your unrequited feelings. That one guy that you would still wish happiness for even if that happiness did not include you. For me, that one guy's name was Marcus Adrian Lee. I never even really existed in Adrian’s eyes. I never really had his heart. I could never truly make him smile the way that she used to. I could never really mend his heart no matter how hard I tried. I mean how do you even begin to fix a broken man? How can you became the person that he not only needs but also wants? I constantly ask myself why I even try but then I take one look at Adrian and immediately know why. My name is Madison Rain Rivera and this is how The Decadence of The Fallen’s Adrian changed me forever.最新チャプター
The Decadence of The Fallen Epilogue: Changing Perspectives
Graduation Day. I stood helpless in my graduation robe as I looked at Madison from afar. She didn't even notice me looking at her, which was probably for the best. Today though, I noticed that Madison looked completely different. She looked happy. I guess it was because she was with JD now. He held her hand and she looked up at him lovingly. I wanted to be happy for them so I tried to force a smile on my face but all it did was leave a bitter taste in my mouth. That should be me beside you and not JD. I couldn't help but think about what could have been...what should have been...but in the end, I had nobody else to blame but myself. I'm sorry, Maddie. I wasn't man enough or strong enough to tell you the truth and admit my true feelings for you. I guess all I am is a jerk and a coward who doesn't deserve your love. I regret not telling you. I never intended to hurt you. But I did. I wish I was braver. But I'm not. I never wanted this to happen to us. But it did. I wish
最終更新日 : 2023-02-16The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 25: Fading Feelings and Bitter Goodbyes
Graduation Day. I never wanted for this day to come but it did and now it's almost over. The thought of leaving was hard and saying goodbye was harder...but saying goodbye to the one you love was the hardest and the most painful. I heard many speeches and quotes throughout this day but as I stood in the middle of West Lane's function hall in my graduation gown, the one quote that kept playing in my head was a quote from a book that I read a long time ago... I'll tell you...what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to someone who smites it. Charles Dickens pretty much sums up what it feels like when love is unrequited in Great Expectations and what it feels like to love you, Adrian. I didn't even see you at all today but you are the only one I kept thinking about. I know that it's probably useless because you'll never get to hea
最終更新日 : 2023-02-16The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 24: Facing The Music
They say that love isn't supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be worth it. It's not easy to love him but I know that it's worth it. That's why I chose him. I chose Adrian. I had made up my mind but it took me another two years to finally have enough courage to confess my feelings to the guy who stole my heart. It wasn't easy though. I had to break JD's heart and tell him about my decision. The Decadence of The Fallen began to accept gigs again so I also had to endure hours of band practice with both him and Adrian around. Then, I had to put my best poker face on just to pretend like nothing was wrong. But through it all, I just kept telling myself that my love for Adrian will overcome anything... Of course, I had to choose the perfect day to tell Adrian - the day after Valentine's Day of 2010. I don't know if I was being romantic or ironic but these days, I can't really tell the difference. Frankly, I don't exactly know why it took me this long. It could have been because I wa
最終更新日 : 2023-02-13The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 23: Choosing Love
Christmas vacation was over and a new year has arrived. The year 2008 was only beginning and yet I was already confronted with the reality that it wasn't going to be my year. I forgot to submit a project for one of my major subjects, my band was on the verge of a breakup, and my love life - if you can even call it that - was a big pile of mess. And just when I thought that things could not get any worse, it does. Warren suddenly called for an emergency band meeting at the concert hall one day. I felt that it was too soon because the last time we met, the tension was quite high and we weren't able to solve any of our issues. But he said that it was urgent and that he needed to talk to all of us as soon as possible so I had no choice but to give in. I came to the concert hall with a deep sense of foreboding but my mood immediately brightened up once I saw a familiar figure standing in front of the stage next to Warren. "Bash!" I ran over to him and gave him a tight hug. He hug
最終更新日 : 2023-02-08The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 22: Struggling At The Crossroads
I did not expect that I would spend my Christmas vacation thinking about Adrian and JD. I never thought that I would ever be in a situation where I had to choose between the one I loved and the one who loved me. I guess I just wasn't lucky enough to have the one I love and the one who loved me be
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 21: Surprising Declarations
It was a week before the Christmas break and the last week of classes when Spence decided to call for a band meeting one last time for the year 2007. He wanted us to finally settle the issues that have been plaguing The Decadence of The Fallen for the last several weeks. With the exception of JD,
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 20: Finding Solace
I had been forcing myself to go to school and trying to avoid Adrian at all costs after that whole incident. Thankfully, today was a Saturday and band practices were over because our gig was apparently cancelled. I had no reason to interact with Adrian for the next couple of weeks and he was proba
The Decadence of The Fallen Chapter 19: Drowning Slowly
I woke up with a terrible hangover the day after and an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, all courtesy of my reckless behavior and my little stint at Below Zero last night. I don't think that I'll be able to show my face there ever again after that whole scene with Adrian and my very "class
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