Chapter 7: Ice

Jane

"What do you mean, you think?" Alpha Lucas asks about my answer. I try to keep my breathing quiet in the silence of the room. Alpha Chris hated when he could hear my breathing, so I would try my best to hold it or breathe slowly so he couldn't hear it. 

"It was hard to keep track of, but there was an annual pack celebration for Christmas that I could keep track of the years with," I answer the best I can while Rebecca wraps the black fabric around my arm that's connected to the vitals machine she explained. 

"You went to the celebration?" I nearly laugh at the idea of me being at a celebration. The fabric tightens around my arm, and I can feel my panic starting to rise, but I try to keep my expression plain in the face of it. 

"No, Alpha," I answer him, but my focus is on the machine that starts to beep. Rebecca presses some buttons on it until the beeping ceases. 

"Then how did you know it was time for the celebration?" He has the right to ask me questions, as I am living in his pack house, but that does not mean I enjoy the interrogations. 

"Alpha Chris would wear the same Christmas sweater when he-" I can't finish the sentence, and I am thankful to hear the beeping on the machine start again. I see the glance that Rebecca gives Alpha Lucas before making the machine stop once more. This time, the pressure on my arm is released, and she writes something down on a packet of papers. 

"I'm surprised you don't have a fever, not having a wolf would make it difficult to keep one away with an arrow in your shoulder," Rebecca says as she continues to write notes down on the papers. 

"I have a wolf," I tell her, not wanting them to think I was a completely useless mutt. 

"Don't fucking lie to me, Jane. I can't sense a wolf, you don't have one," Alpha Lucas says harshly to me, and I bring my eyes to the ground with the use of his alpha tone. I can't stand alpha's, high-and-mighty pricks is what they are. 

"Yes, Alpha. But I do have a wolf. I have wolfsbane in my system, so she's repressed," I whisper out, not wanting to argue with him. I don't want to be looked down on, not when my father was a respected warrior for the pack. His blood runs through my veins, and I will not present myself as anything less than my father's daughter. No matter how many beatings or assaults occur. 

"Why do you have wolfsbane in your system, honey?" It is Rebecca who asks the question, and I turn my gaze up to her, thankful that she is not an alpha. She is much easier to respond to than Alpha Lucas, who is glaring at me with a curled lip in disgust.

I don't answer her, though. The truth is starting to nag at the inside of my brain, and if I think about things for too long, I will get emotional. Emotions aren't allowed; they only get me hurt.

"She asked you a question, Jane. Answer it!" Alpha Lucas shouts at me, and I can't help but close my eyes tightly in anticipation of his outburst. Alphas are the worst brutes of them all. One mistake will either have me dead or wishing I were dead.

"S-so I couldn't g-get out," I struggle to say, but I wanted to tell him fuck you. I don't stutter. I will not stutter my words, yet here I am, too terrified of his punishment to speak right.

"I'm going to have to cut this off," Rebecca says, holding scissors to my shirt. I open my eyes instantly at the realization of her proximity, pushing myself backwards off the exam chair, trying to put distance between us. 

"Wait, wait, no, no, no. P-please don't," I say, now only focused on her hands that are lifted in a surrender.  

"Luke, leave," Rebecca says without pulling her eyes away from me. 

"No, not until she tells me what the fuck that is supposed to mean. Get out of where, Jane? What were they doing to you with wolfsbane?" He shouts, and I can't keep my breath steady between his rising shouts and Rebecca's proximity to where I am.

I push my back against the wall, pulling my head into my hands. I bring my palms down on my head repeatedly, trying to somehow knock the panic from my brain. I feel like I can't breathe, so I hold my breath and let it go in ragged attempts to focus on it. 

"Luke! Get the fuck out!" I hear Rebecca shout, but it sounds like I am listening from under water. All I can hear is the sound of Alpha Chris's voice in my ear. Even when it wasn't him on top of me, he would be there, in the dungeon, watching. He was always there to make sure I was getting maximum punishment. 

When a hand lands on my arm gently, all I can feel is his hand.

"Get off! Please, please, get off me!" I shout, hearing my screams echo on the walls of the dungeon. But the wolfsbane made it so I was unable to fight against his grip. I was awake and aware, but not strong enough to fight against him. Just like he wanted. 

"Jane, hey, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you," I hear Rebecca's voice coming through the muffled sound in my ears, and I bring my hands down on my head repeatedly again. I want to hear her voice again; I don't want to hear Alpha Chris in my head. 

"Get off me!" I shout again, hearing my own voice crack in despair while I fight with the memory of his weight on top of me. 

Rebecca's hands tighten on my arms as I try to bring myself out of what is happening, but I can't. I can't hear Rebecca's words anymore when she says something, and everything disappears to black with a sharp pinch to my arms.