Chapter 3

REALITY AND DREAMS

~TARA’S POV~

It’s already 11 in the evening when I finish cleaning the kitchen floor and counter. I’m heading to the servant quarters when I saw Lea quietly sneaking into the master bedroom. My eyebrows furrow, wondering why she’s acting suspiciously.

Curiosity got the best of me so I quietly followed her. Carefully, I walk behind her and watch as she slowly pushes the door open.

“Ugh…” I groan, feeling a sharp pain in my chest as the door closes. I don’t know why, but seeing Lea entering the master bedroom makes me shiver… in rage. And for some reason, that door really looks so familiar… and I’m inexplicably drawn to it.

“Just… what is the truth?” I whisper, hugging myself as I try to calm down the rage boiling inside.

**********

Three years… That’ss how long I’ve been living in the shadows of this mansion since the plane crash which almost took my life.

For three years, I’ve been polishing silver until my hands ache, scrubbing marble floor until they shine like mirror, folding linens my masters use to wrap around them… and enduring the silent torture of the past that haunts me whenever it has a chance.

“Um… D-Don’t. Please don’t… Don’t leave me!” I scream, opening my eyes wide in shock. I feel the sweat streaming down my face as I catch my breath. I look at my left hand and caress the ring mark on my finger.

It’s another dream… or maybe a nightmare. Just like when I was still in the hospital, I keep dreaming of that man whose face slowly gets clearer every time he appears in my sleep. He keeps calling my name, holding my hand, caressing my cheeks, and even kissing me. Most importantly, in those dreams… It feels as if I was married to him. But unless I remember it myself, I won’t find out whether it’s real or just a nonsense dream. It could be just a fantasy…

For now, it was just like a recurring scene that keeps haunting the present me, forcing me to remember.

I tried… Of course, I would, so I did. But whenever I think hard to recall anything from before the accident, I end up having a terrible headache I could barely tolerate.

Every morning, I wake up tired and afraid… Tired of trying and afraid of finding out the truth I’m not ready to face. Although I want to know more about my past, I don’t think I’m ready to accept that version of me yet.

“Tara! The madam’s calling for you,” one of the staff calls, rushing me to see the madam.

Lea’s been temperamental around me these past few weeks. She was nice to me three years ago, but she started to change her attitude and literally make things harder not just for me but for everyone else, though she loved making me suffer doing the chores that aren’t part of my tasks.

“Hurry up, Tara. The madam doesn’t like waiting for long.”

Nodding, I rush to find Lea resting in Alexander’s arm. I freeze, staring at them feeling betrayed. I should have been used to this feeling, but it seems three years is not enough to get over this strange feeling I have when they’re together.

It’s almost like Lea stole my man… But of course, that’s not possible. Or maybe it is.

“Tara! Where have you been? I’ve been waiting forever,” Lea yells at me, narrowing her eyes. “Look, I need you to massage my back and hips,” she says, pointing at her back.

I nod in hesitation and walk toward them. “I… I’ll give you a massage, madam.”

“Uh-huh. Then do it, but be gentle, okay?” Lea sighs and faces her back at me.

I sat down and did what I was told, keeping my head low. Lea continues to complain about her body aches while I try to make her feel better. I’m not even a good masseuse nor did I learn from the professionals, but Lea always calls for me when she needs a massage.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Alexander asks, making me look up, only to see him glaring at me.

I gasp, looking away almost immediately and bowing my head again. If looks could kill, I’d been long dead. Master Alexander always glares and even though he’s not yelling, his voice is always cold when he talks to me.

It seems like he has something against me, but keeps it to himself. I prefer it if he can tell me though, so I would be able to fix it at least.

“Hey! Tara, what do you think you’re doing? Move your hands,” Lea complains, leaning her head on Alexander’s chest.

“I think you should call for a professional instead. It’s obvious she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I doubt her massage will help ease your pain,” Alexander suggests, rubbing the back of Lea’s head.

I feel like something stabs at my chest seeing how sweet and nice he treats her. I know, I should not be feeling this way since Lea’s his wife… but I can’t help it and I want to know why I’m feeling this way more than anyone else.

“You know what? Maybe you’re right. Tara’s so useless. How can she not do such a simple task?” Lea scoffs, wrapping her arms around Alexander’s neck. “I need a good massage, Alex. Can you drive me to the usual place?”

Why ask me to do it in the first place when you know I can’t do it?

I purse my lips tightly to keep those thoughts in my mind and make sure it won’t escape my lips. Otherwise, I may have to face Lea’s wrath.

“Stop it, Tara. You’re just making my muscle even more stiff,” Lea orders and so I stop kneading her back. “Go back and do your other tasks. Make sure you work while I’m away. I’m not letting you stay here for free, do you understand?”

Ah… Here we go again. Lea always makes me feel indebted to her by mentioning that she’s letting me stay and feed me in this mansion. Well, she’s right… And even if I’m not getting paid for working everyday without a rest, I don’t complain.

She saved my life… so this is the least I can do.

“That’s enough, Lea. Let’s go,” Alexander chimes in, glancing at me before heading to the door.

“Fineeee!” Lea catches up with him, ignoring me.

I don’t want to sound ridiculous but…

“He looks just like him…” I whisper, brushing my lips with my fingers.