Chapter 4: Regrettable Choices
Kit:
Kit woke up with a start as the sound of a gunshot broke through his nightmares.
The bright early morning sunlight coming in through the curtains illuminated the entire room, making it easier for him to see everything that he had missed last night.
Swallowing nervously, he looked back at the face of the man who was spooning him from behind, his body a welcoming warmth as it wrapped around his own under the blankets.
Kit’s heart thrashed against his ribcage at the sight of him. With his tousled midnight locks falling over his forehead, he looked much younger than he had last night…probably around the same age as his elder sister. His skin was golden honey that coaxed him to run his fingers down his chest, but Kit clenched his jaw against the temptation.
However…he suddenly got this feeling like he knew the Phi from somewhere…as if he had met him before.
But how could that be possible? With a face like this…there was no way Kit could forget him easily even if they had crossed paths for a brief instant.
But the more he stared at him…the more he remembered the events from last night and the more he felt regret set in.
Who was P’Kimhan? Other than the fact that he had saved his life and that he was a Mafia lord…Kit knew absolutely nothing about the man.
Did he have a family? Did he have a lover? Was someone waiting for him? Was he…going to be the cause of distress when P’Kimhan woke up…or was he going to tell him to forget about last night and pretend like it never happened?
Suddenly, he felt sick to the stomach.
What had he done? He didn’t even know the man and yet…he had slept with him…multiple times.
He vaguely remembered them inside the bathroom last night, when P’Kimhan had taken him to the shower. They had done it inside the bathroom too…with him against the marble wall as the warm water cascaded down their bodies…
Blinking, he looked around the room to find his clothes. He needed to escape. And he needed to escape this instant. Otherwise the guilt would eat at him until there was none of his sanity left. He had to escape before he regretted his choices. He had to escape before P’Kimhan woke up and told him he regretted last night.
Unwinding himself carefully from the man behind him, Kit got up from the bed, wincing as he felt the soreness from last night, and stilled immediately as he saw P’Kimhan groan and turn the slightest. He breathed a sigh of relief when Phi went right back to sleep, his breathing soft and the sunlight casting shadows of his lashes onto his cheeks.
Tentatively, Kit pulled on his underwear from the floor, followed by the rest of his clothing that were now dry from lying on the floor all night. He didn’t remember where he was or where Phi had brought him last night because not only had it been raining heavily, but the drugs had fogged his mind of any other thought.
Now, he moved past the bed, making sure to pull the curtains shut on his way so that the sun didn’t disturb P’Kimhan’s sleep as Kit made a dash for the door, not bothering to look behind. It was better this way, he thought to himself as he closed the door behind him as quietly as he could and ran for the elevator.
However, if he had dared to look behind one last time…he would’ve seen the deep brown eyes of the man following him as he left. He would’ve seen his smile as he understood the reason why the boy hadn't even bothered to thank him or wake him up as he left his room.
Kit wanted it to be just a one night stand…something he hoped he would forget soon enough and move on in his life like nothing had happened…even though his entire body felt branded by his touch.
He wanted to forget though. Not Kimhan…not the man whose touch still lingered on his skin…but the incidents from last night that involved Khun Thong.
But as he exited the elevator, looking around the streets that were filled with puddles from the heavy rain, a sinking feeling began to sit in his stomach. How was he going to tell his Phi about all this? How could he possibly explain last night to his older sister without worrying her to death?
And even if he did tell her…she would become even more paranoid, forbidding him from having a part time job ever again. All of his activities would be restricted and his sister would take even more responsibilities onto her shoulders, making her even more miserable. As of now, she was already working three jobs in a day to make ends meet…if she were to learn the truth…
Mai! (No)
Kit decided then and there that he wasn’t going to tell her anything, no matter how guilty he felt about it.
Normally, he either took a bus or any other cheaper mode of transport to save money, but this morning, he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about anything else as he hired a cab with the money he had in his pocket. Because the place where P’Kimhan had brought him was even further away from his home…and he didn’t want his sister to worry any more than she already was since he hadn't shown up home last night.
*
“Kit!” His sister was already waiting for him outside their apartment when he arrived. “Nong? What happened? Why didn’t you come back home last night?”
Kit knew he didn’t have the strength to tell his sister the truth, especially after he saw the worried expression on her face. But neither did he have the strength to lie. Guilt was eating him from the inside out and he didn’t know how to face her, so he stood still with his head hung as P’Kanya rushed over to pull him into her comforting embrace.
“Did something happen?” She raised her head, trying to meet his eyes. “You know you can tell me anything, na? Did your employer give you a hard time?”
The way he flinched at the mention of the word ‘employer’ must have given his sister enough of an idea because she gasped in horror, clutching at his hands. But when she spoke next…he felt a mix of guilt and relief for the fact that his sister had misunderstood the situation. And somehow…he preferred it this way.
“Did you get fired?” Kaya’s voice was worried as she searched her brother’s face, but from the way his expression darkened, she knew he wasn’t ready to tell her yet. “It’s okay…there’s no pressure. It’s totally fine this way, Kit. Now you should be focusing on what is more important, your scholarship.”
“How can I do that na, Phi?” Kit asked her desperately. “The debtors…”
“I’ve found a way to help with that.” Kaya reassured him. “I’ll tell you everything shortly, but first, go take a shower. I’ve made breakfast for us. Let’s eat together na? We rarely get to spent time together.”
Kit paused. P’Kanya was a very hardworking person, and since they had lost their mother, she had hardly had any time to waste so she would always buy porridge for breakfast at the nearest stall to save time before she went off to work for the day. She never cooked on her own and neither did she insist on them sharing a meal together, especially because she left way too early every morning for him to even greet her and came back later into the night, well past dinner time.
And most importantly…his sister rarely used that pleading voice with him.
Kit knew instantly that whatever it was that his sister wanted to tell him, it was very important…and that he wasn’t going to like it one bit.
So he pushed his own problems to the back for his mind for the time being and decided to follow his sister’s orders. Because he was now utterly curious about what his sister had in mind that was going to help them pay up their never ending debt.
Chapter 5: The Boy who got awayKim:“It’s done.” Aawut handed his boss the tab that held the cleared out footage of the only surveillance camera that was placed outside the restaurant that the traitor Thong had built.“I guess traitors are more afraid of being cheated on than the rest.” Kim mused, going through the footage of him taking the boy into his car, followed by his men taking out Thong and the man who was his chef and escorting them to another location. “Did you get the money?”“Two million.” Aawut confirmed; his black suit and white shirt still without a single wrinkle despite him having working all night long. “The rest he had used to purchase the restaurant, so we confiscated the keys. The papers for the transfer of asset are being prepared. It should be signed and handed to you this afternoon.”“Good.” Kim nodded. “And the chef? Have you gotten anything out of him yet?”“Yes, sir.” Aawut nodded, taking the tab from his boss to pull up an information page before handing i
Chapter 6: Unexplained ConnectionsKit:He had left marks… Kit thought to himself as he traced the patch of red on his shoulder before lowering his hand to another spot on his chest.Thanks to him being fair skinned, the marks stood out more prominently, almost like bruises all over his body. They didn’t hurt or sting…but somehow, when he was tracing his fingers over the hickeys, he could feel the lingering sensation of P’Kimhan’s fingers on his body, the way he had branded every inch of his skin with his lips, lapping at him with his tongue...Moreover, he was still sore from the encounter. Before last night, he had had no idea what sex between two men was supposed to be like, if it was even going to feel good or not…but now he didn’t have a single doubt in his mind. He had never lost control of himself the way he had last night and he vividly remembered that they had continued to make love well after the effects of the drug had worn off, until the sun was about to rise in the horizo
Chapter 7: The Chao Pho MansionKanya:The huge iron gates to the mansion were pulled open by two professional guards and Kaya found her hands tightening on her dress as the Sedan entered the gated compound and the gates closed behind them.“Was your friend always this rich?” Kit muttered from beside her, seeming more annoyed as he narrowed his eyes outside the window.There were several lights that lined either side of the path leading to the main house, which was more like a humongous, luxurious mansion. Since night had already fallen, they couldn’t exactly see the surroundings all that well, but Kanya could already tell that it was going to be a magnificent view.In reality, she had never been to Kim’s house before. Since his family dealt with several illegal affairs, Kim had never brought her over when his father was still alive, but now that he was the head of the family, she felt a lot a ease coming to The Chao Pho Mansion of Bangkok.The car came to a stop a little further away
Chapter 8: A Shocking DiscoveryKit:Kit didn’t know how long he slept for but as he slowly came to consciousness…it felt like someone was watching him. As he opened his eyes, feeling panic rise in the pit of his stomach, the first thing he noticed was dark brown orbs staring right back into his…a very familiar pair of dark brown eyes.Was I…dreaming?The panic begun to subside almost immediately when Kit started to connect those eyes to his memories of last night…and then the panic returned full force.“P’Kimhan?” Kit rose from the bed, surprised to see the covers drawn up to his waist. How long had he been sleeping?“Yes,” Kim looked at the boy’s tired wide eyes with a soft smile. “I thought you were going to sleep through the night.”“Phi…what? How?” Kit looked around the room in confusion, noticing that he was still inside the room that he had entered earlier. He was at the house of his sister’s friend…P’Kim…And that was when it clicked.Kimhan…Kim…It didn’t take a genius to fig
Chapter 9: The Ayutthaya FamilyKit:The humongous chandelier hanging from the ceiling made the entire room look like a fairy tale. The golden light reached every corner, illuminating the room in a soft sunset glow, but if it wasn’t enough, several other chandelier stands were also placed all around the room to provide more lighting.Kit followed silently behind P’Kim down the spiral staircase to the dining hall were the other members were already waiting for them to arrive. He saw P’Kanya talking to a girl about his age, who had the same dark hair as P’Kim but her eyes were a more golden shade of brown that he had hardly seen on anyone before.“Hia!” The girl called out as soon as she saw Kim, her eyes lighting up with excitement. “P’Kaya was just telling me about how you were in University!”“Really now?” Kim gave Kaya a secret smile that she returned as he made his way to the head of the table and took his seat, but not before placing a kiss on top of the girl’s head. “And don’t ca
Chapter 10: Uncertainty Kanya: Kaya paced around her room in silence. She didn’t think that a stranger could make her rethink all of her life-choices at once. When another waiter, who she had been an acquaintance with at the restaurant she worked night shifts at, had told her that she could earn big money by becoming a surrogate…Kaya had been stunned. She hadn't thought the decision through before registering because she knew that the entire process would be done by doctors and she could always give birth by C-section if a normal birth became complicated. After all, if she never saw the face of the child…she wouldn’t feel attached to it…right? And it was a lot better option than becoming a whore because that’s what the debt collectors had been threatening her with. They wanted her to work for them in return and they would forget about the debt. Kaya could only think of it as a fate worse than death. However, now that she had met P’Kla…she felt like he had made her realize some ve
Chapter 11: His Knight Kit:Kit stopped in front of the old apartment complex, looking up at the tall building with disdainful eyes.Although he and his sister had grown up in this very place, there were more unpleasant memories of them here than good ones and somehow, Kit felt that their apartment might even be cursed. It wasn’t located at a very friendly neighborhood either and that prompted the debt collectors to think of his sister as a call girl more than once, hence they kept on giving her degrading offers every time they came to take back their money.And why was it that their debt never seemed to lessen?It had been years and with his mother having worked so hard to pay off so much of the debt; shouldn’t it be a lot less by now?But that wasn’t what was concerning him at that moment. What was concerning him was how much more would he and his sister have to give in order to get an ounce of peace in this world?P’Kim…the man he spent his first night with, the mysterious strange
Chapter 12: Close CallKim:Kim got out of the car and immediately brushed off his bodyguards who had come running to help carry Kit to the infirmary. However, they all stood stunned as Kim picked the boy up in his arms instead before rushing into the main house.Aawut had already called the family doctor to remain on standby at Kim’s command and the commotion had already drawn quiet a lot of spectators as the maids and other servants looked on in bewilderment as Kim brought the boy to his room instead of the infirmary and asked the doctor to shift location so Kit could be more comfortable.Kim’s sexuality had never been a reason of gossip around the main house, especially since Kim himself was so open about it that it was considered normal. However, despite the many lovers that had visited Kim’s house, Kit was the only one that Kim ever taken into his room. He was the only boy that Kim had been this concerned about.Especially when the doctor took longer to shift location and arrived
Chapter 88: Didn’t Want to Change AnythingKit:Kit adjusted the strap of his vest, the unfamiliar weight pressing down on his shoulders as he stood in the shooting range. The gear felt strange, heavy, and bulky, but he forced himself to get used to it. Ben was by his side, moving around to check on his positioning, adjusting Kit’s stance and lightly pressing his shoulder to correct his posture.Any other time, it would’ve been calming, having Ben here. But, now there was an unspoken tension that Kit needed to sort out. Ben seemed to take everything in stride, unbothered by the pressure that Kit constantly felt bearing down on him."Relax, Kit," Ben murmured, stepping back and giving a warm smile. "You’re too tense. You need to be steady before you can shoot."Kit nodded, swallowing hard as he fixed his eyes on the target. He tried to breathe slowly, following Ben’s instructions, but every time he saw Ben’s easy grin or heard his laugh as he explained something new, an odd feeling set
Chapter 87: Hitting Two Birds With One StoneKit:P’Kim was sitting next to Kit in the back seat as P’David drove them back to the mansion. His mind was still stuck on the events that had happened earlier. He was no longer afraid because the moment had long since come and gone, but now, he could only think about how… inhumane his father had been.It seemed that he truly had no love of any kind for his own family. He was way too eager in threatening his life, as if he was not Kit’s father, and much more invested in what he wanted to get from Kit rather than listen to what Kit had pleaded for.And he even had the balls to threaten his pregnant daughter!Well, truth be told, Kit didn’t expect anything from him, so he was not hurt. Rather, he was just… surprised that any normal human being could do something as heartless as what his father had done. Then again, clearly his father wasn’t just any normal human being. Perhaps he was not even human anymore…“You did a great job,” P’Kim said t
Chapter 86: Unwanted ConfrontationKit:In the couple of days that followed, Kit did not dare let P’Kim out of his sight; he stuck to his lover like a shadow. He feared that if he looked away for even a second, something might happen to him or everyone else.Even though he had managed to talk himself out of being convinced his nightmare was a premonition, the fear was still there.When P’Kim had to go out for work, Kit would usually stay in the living room or his own bedroom and refused to leave the mansion. He wasn’t foolish enough to keep following P’Kim around, of course. He was satisfied with keeping his eyes on him while they were at home, but the outside world was a different story.Kit had called and talked to Earth later on. Their conversation had not been anything out of the ordinary as they hadn’t fallen out or anything, and in a matter of a few exchanges, they had already sorted out whatever differences they might have had the last time they met.But Ben… He was a different
Chapter 85: Use It Against HimKit:Kit stopped himself from spilling more of the truth to P’Kim. He shook hishead vigorously—he could not. If he slipped up more than he already has…god only knew what would happen next.“Ah, actually I couldn’t see their face,” he blurted out dishonestly. “Y-you know how dreams are, your brain either shows you a blurred figure, or some guy you saw briefly at the grocery three weeks ago.” Kit hoped it was a convincing lie, but he couldn’t meet P’Kim’s eyes, fearing they might give him away.“And… and anyway, you were right. It’s just a nightmare. It doesn’t matter anymore.”Kit released a deep exhale, before trying to return to the solace of his covers, only to be stopped by P’Kim, who held him by the shoulders, his hands firm and demanding not to be crossed.“Kit.”It was one single word. His name. And yet, his entire body became rigid.“Listen…” Kit started to say, “I’m really tired, so I should go back to sleep…”But P’Kim wasn’t listening. Instead
Chapter 84: A Terror in the NightKit:Kit was screaming before he even woke up, and by the time his consciousness took hold, his voice was hoarse, but he could not stop. He rose quickly from the bed, heart pounding frantically as though he had been running a marathon.He frantically looked around, searching for any signs of life. The room was dark, but the sound of shuffling footsteps outside and the low hum of murmurs was unmistakable.Relief and desperation washed over him in waves, and it was all that had been holding him back from crumbling right then and there. Curling in on himself, Kit let the tears fall, unable to stop the cries that left his lips, as if it would ease the pain in his chest.Even P’Kim’s immediate presence next to him couldn’t calm him down. He put a comforting hand on Kit’s back, pulling him into his embrace. “Hey, it’s alright. I’m right here. It was just a bad dream…”When Kit still wouldn’t look up from hiding his face in his hands, Kim went to give him a
Chapter 83: An Eerie SilenceKit:Kit woke up with a gasp, cold sweat dripping down his back. He had been trapped in eternal darkness, as though he was drowning and suddenly being pulled out of the water Ironically, even though he had woken up, he still felt like he was being suffocated even though he just escaped the hell of his subconscious.Cold sweat dripped down the side of his face. He looked around his room, trying to have his bearings back. It took a while for his disorientation to wear off. His head was spinning, and his heart refused to settle to a steady rhythm.“It was just a dream,” he whispered to himself, hearing his voice echo around him as though he was in a cave, but also muffled like he was underwater or hearing himself talk from a different room. “You’re fine.”But as much as his ears strained to listen to himself, his heart just wouldn’t cooperate. Still, it didn’t seem to matter because he was slowly starting to lose the dizziness that had held him hostage earli
Chapter 82: Now More Than EverKim:As Kim went back to the main mansion, he let his feet move on autopilot, his mind wandering and wondering how best to handle the situation and produce the most favorable outcome.While he didn’t feel bad about the subtle deception he performed to get to the truth of it all, he was very much bothered about Kit’s entire situation. He was worried about his teerak—it was clear he was going through a lot, burdened with the fact that his father was threatening him and all his loved ones.What’s worse was that he was also forced to endure a severe scarcity of confidants, so much that he resorted to seeking the help of the person he was least comfortable with.Kim couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for bringing Kit into the dangers of this world. If he hadn’t dragged Kit and his sister to this life, would they have been safer now? Would they have been happier?But then he started to rethink these notions. If he hadn’t taken them under his wing, Ay
Chapter 81: Eavesdropping Kla:It took a bit more convincing before Kit was finally reassured enough to leave, but he eventually did, closing Kla’s office door behind him with a light hand. Kla waited until his footsteps outside faded out of earshot before making his own move.Only when Kla was fully certain that Kit had gone away, he walked over to the other end of his office, staring intently at the door waiting for him. It was nondescript—you wouldn’t notice it if you didn’t specifically look for it or already knew it was there. Even though it wasn’t technically ‘hidden’, it was still considered a secret.Moreover, it was actually connected to a different room, and when he pulled it open, Kim emerged from there, stepping silently into Kla’s office and shutting the secret door behind him on a soft sigh.“Well,” Kla shrugged. “I guess you were right about Kit all this time. Turns out, he really was hiding something much more serious than just about his friend having feelings for him
Chapter 80: Above All ElseKit:It seemed that his pleas had the opposite of his intended effect, because instead of sympathizing with him, it was clear that P’Kla was getting frustrated, if the way his brows met in the middle was any indication.“Stop talking in riddles,” he snapped. “If you want me to help you, then give it to me straight. Tell me directly what’s wrong and what you’re hiding.”If only P’Kla knew just how much Kit wanted to tell the whole world about the problems he was currently facing.“You have to promise me first,” he bargained, insistent. “You cannot tell anyone what you have seen.” He gestured to his neck. “Neither can you broadcast what I tell you to anyone else—anyone at all.”P’Kla was still obviously annoyed by these cryptic responses, but Kit knew that he had to be careful above all else.When P’Kla realized that such a thing was non-negotiable to Kit, he sighed, calming down a bit. “You came to me for help,” he reminded the younger man. “And so, I am doin