The Stars Above Agreed

It was time to close, so I did,  with a $100 in my purse! Don't you forget that. Just when I was about to lock.

I video called my friend Chantelle, only to discover she was 2 minutes away, but we proceeded, it was very fun until my boss realized I was delaying him by doing that ,I mean cause he had to go with the keys and there she was!

 My night in shining armour,  looking all great with the yellow top and black tight pants in heels, wow, she was amazing than I was at the time and I screamed at her for that, we had to slay equally! Hahahahaha ! 

We greeted each other with a hug and made our way to Cuba Nora for some burgers and coffee.

I told her how amazing my day was and the whole $100 Scandal which occurred before she asked about the sources of the cash I had to spoil ourselves.

"What the hell! You were giving it back to him why and for what? You just said this guy is wealthy! Why would you do that"? 

Chantelle didn't  really understand why I had to pull such a terrible stunt.

"Because....because ahhmm I think I might have developed threads of feelings when he got in there "!

I told her that expecting the worst from her, she's my friend so I knew what she was like.

"Ohhhh noooo! Holy Jesus! You kidding me right? You not serious right now?

Now I wanna see this guy who made a  great first impression because you are so shitty hard to impress nana"!

She used a lot of her hands gestures whenever she talked and she was kinda loud when she did and laughed so that brought a lot of attention on our table, always! But you know what?

I loved her, she always uplifted my spirit in impossible ways, I wouldn't be happier than where I was, she was my home.

"Yes I am swiry...let's not forget that fact that he's white...so maybe that's why he got my blood boiling". 

I said with a lot of thoughts and imaginations in my head...I really hoped I would see him again,  and soon!

I had to pay the bill since we had to leave and I did!, so we left to the bus rank together still talking about nothing but guys! We used the same taxi together but went off separately. 

As I drove off from the taxi, I got buzzed and hit by a lot of thoughts, like what I really wanted.

I wanted to play the game right this time, I was void and weary of guys who always got spruce than I was, I was trying to prevent that sort of a score but 'love' love drags us into being slaves in relationships,  without realizing it though.

As I walk through the matters of the heart journey, I feel like its influential to remember that not all strong feelings are romantic, some of them can be platonic as well.

Letting yourself trust someone and become really close to them without necessarily having romantic feelings for them, is a really peculiar thing.

it takes a trim soul to avow that. And I've learnt to know and comprehend that some feelings are to be ignored, they aren't worth the risk of losing yourself ,when I say your 'yourself ' I'm referring to all the blocks that form you, yourself. 

 I feel like it is human nature to be attracted to other people. Even if you are in a great relationship, you still might find that you feel attracted to someone other than your romantic partner.

And this is the place where people mess up everything, beautiful things they've built for years! 

I didn't want that to happen to me, what if this guy was married? A cute guy like that being single? No! No! No! Impossible!

Such guys have women on their sides, and very committed,  maybe I should forget about this guy but how? I keep on seeing him with my naked eyes, so it feels.

I had gotten a place to chill and have such thoughts just when I was 5 minutes away. Giving time to yourself is the most incredible thing you can ever gift yourself with.

Having to think what's worth and what's not, what to keep and what to toss away. Its not being depressed like most Africans think! To hell with that! 

It's paving the tar road for yourself, for your life, and amazingly for your future. It's being virtous to yourself with every single thread of everything concerning your life.

I was a lost confused soul, never wanted to be alone,  I always wanted to have a boyfriend in my life for me to be happy, that was my main hindrance.

 I couldn't even share it to my closest friend cause obviously I knew what she was going to tell me a song with everyday heard lyrics, you know what I mean.

I stayed on that rock without even realizing time fled, time flies like a fly when you are having a good time, yes! A good time with confusion of threads there and there but it felt great.

I thought of calling my ex, but that thought drew me back again, it came back and forth that I ended up dialing his number, and as always as he used to do it, he didn't pick up.

Looking back at the album gallery of my flashbacks, he tortured me, he emotionally abused me that I could remember how much the pain used to feel like to me.

He would sometimes evaporate Saturday night till Monday or Tuesday afternoon with dense stories. 

I would go mad, but nothing would make me mad than hearing him singing the 'misplaced phone ' song with the very same lyrics which got released weekly!

How funny! 

You see? That really drove me so mad! But hey! I stayed, regardless, I did, love made me stay, love told me to forgive and let go, love told me he was going to change I mean what whack ass shit is that? What the fuck!?