CHAPTER FIVE

LEONA’S POV

I didn’t sleep that night, I sat on my kitchen floor with my back against the cabinets, staring at nothing actually, replaying the moments in my head. It should have felt enough but for some reason, it didn’t.

By morning I tried to convince myself I could still fix this. I showered, changed, and drove straight back to the hospital because that was the only place I needed to be right now. 

Maddy’s room was quiet except for the constant beeping sounds of the machines keeping track of her. I sat in the same chair I’d cried in the day before and took her

“Morning, love,” I said, hoping she would respond. I don’t know how long I sat there, but I knew that it was long enough. 

Two officers walked in without knocking, and I knew deep down within me that Mr. Adams wasn’t one of them.

“Leona Vermont?” The taller one spoke out loud, even though it wasn’t really a question.

I stood slowly, still holding Maddy’s hand. “That’s me.”

“You’re under arrest for assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, and criminal threatening.” He was already reaching for his cuffs. “You have the right to remain silent.”

The rest of it blurred into noise. I looked back at Maddy one last time as they turned me around, her chest rising and falling under that thin hospital blanket, then my chest began to hurt.

“Please,” I said, though I wasn’t sure who I was talking to anymore. “She needs me.”

Nobody answered. Fucking bastards!!

They walked me out through the corridor in cuffs, past nurses and the strangers in the hospital. I definitely looked like the bad guy. I didn’t have the energy to argue, either… otherwise.

The holding cell was cold, I sat on the metal bench and stared at the wall, and for the first time since the accident, I let myself cry without any intention of stopping it. 

My court-appointed lawyer looked barely older than me. “They’re saying you threatened Reynolds Miller with a firearm,” he said, flipping through pages. “There’s footage.”

“No shit. Footage of what exactly?”

“Enough.” He didn’t look up. “His father’s already made calls. This isn’t going to go the way you want it to.”

I let out a fake laugh. “Nothing ever does.”

The hearing took less time this time around. I was shocked because I know it takes longer than that. I stood there listening to words like unstable and history of violence alongside danger to herself and others, and I watched the judge’s face carefully, hoping for a glimpse of doubt but there wasn’t any.

Alexander Miller sat in the back row the entire time, saying nothing. His presence alone was doing the work for him and honestly, he shouldn’t have bothered coming.

When they announced I was being remanded pending psychiatric evaluation, I turned around, searching the room for anyone especially my father but he wasn’t there. Of course, he wasn’t. Maddy couldn’t be and that part broke me honestly.

They transferred me three days later. Nobody told me where but I was in a van with blacked-out windows and two orderlies.

“Where are we going?” I asked, for the fourth or fifth time.

“Somewhere you’ll get the help you need,” one of them said, in a certain awkward tone.

I stopped asking after that. I was this close to cussing them out but no, they were not worth shit at all.

****

The building they brought me to looked nothing like a hospital at all. It had white corridors and locked doors within locked doors with no noise at all.

They took my clothes first, replacing them with a number and a set of pale scrubs that didn’t fit right. A woman with a clipboard asked me lots of weird questions. I didn’t bother answering honestly, because I had already learned that honesty here only ever worked against me. Heck, even in the real world. 

“Do you hear voices?” She asked.

“No.”

“Do you believe people are trying to harm you?”

I let out a side smile on my face and chuckled. “I don’t believe it dear… I know it.”

She wrote something down without looking up and honestly at this point, I didn't bother anymore. That first night I lay on a bed, in a room with no windows, and let myself think about Maddy for the first time all day. 

I missed her and how she would fall asleep against my shoulder halfway through a movie, she would laugh so hard. 

I found myself smiling so much at myself. Gosh, she would drive forty minutes in the rain because I said I wasn’t okay and she didn’t believe me one bit when I said I was fine.

I love you Maddison Alaine, I thought, staring at the ceiling. I’m sorry I ever touched you. I’m sorry I ever loved you the way I did….regardless, I’m not sorry it’s real.

Somewhere down the hall someone screamed, long and rough, and no one came running. I flinched at the sound and then forced myself still.

A nurse came by sometime after, sliding a small paper cup of pills through the slot in the door without a word.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Your evening medication.”

“I didn’t consent to medication.”

She didn’t answer, just stood there like a statue, waiting, until it became clear that refusing or being stubborn wasn’t actually an option.

I swallowed them because I didn’t yet know what would happen if I didn’t and my instinct kept disturbing me deep inside me.  

As the drowsiness crept in, blurring the edges of the room, I thought about Reynolds standing in his living room, glass in hand, telling me Maddy was better off without me. Maybe he was right or maybe I had ruined the one good thing that had ever happened to me the moment I let myself want it… want her so badly.

Regardless, I was not going to give up. All I knew, as sleep finally dragged me under, was that Maddison Alaine was still out there somewhere, and I intended to find my way back to her no matter what it took me.

The last thing I remembered before the sleep took over completely was her voice on the phone. ‘Loena’.

I held onto it like and the sweet slumber took me away.