Chapter 5

I did it again.

I could have stayed still, I shouldn't have...

I growl, punching the wall before me and panting heavily. If only...I don't know what to say or think about.

I didn't realize my fists were bleeding until I felt exhausted and ran my fingers on my face.

It keeps taking control like an ego that wouldn't be easy to get rid of.

My hands trembles as I leaned on the rail, everything was blurry before my sight and I could feel it, that hate already.

Perhaps, they were right, everyone would turn away from me, eventually, I'd be alone.

Reeled with anger and a consuming fury, I moved towards my closet, dragged a cloak from the hanger, I covered myself and stomp out.

Somewhere more solemn, somewhere I'd drown myself and avoid her for a while.

Somehow, I pondered over how i'd approach her, her reaction and that seething hate.

That fear when we come close and the thought of that drives me crazy.

It's okay, hate has been a part of me, I don't mind if anyone sees me as the devil because I am.

I almost killed her...I can't control this part of me that retaliates to every little act.

Just when I'm about to step out, dirna appears in front of me. Looking all seductive as always.

Her body obstructs the door as she had a wistful gaze at me.

"14 days, 14 nights and 12 hours of being away from me" she began in a sober tone, her eyes diluted as she crossed her hands below her thighs.

"Dirna, I want to be alone..."

"Or you want to be with her and not me?"

I adjusted the stripe of the cloak on me while peering into her eyes as she looked all reeled up in anger.

"She disagraced you today! It's so unlike you to let such an act to go on!"

"What happened today remains dead with us!" I barked and she pants heavily with trembling eyes at me as she was reeled with anger, trying to maintain eye contact.

"That must be why you sent me on an impromptu mission just to keep me away"

My head bangs already and her voice occupied my mind as she lays her complains.

Clenching my fists, I couldn't tell why I wasn't reacting yet but her fleeting words pisses me off.

"I owe you no explanation! If you assume so, it's up to you, that alliance needed you!" I roared in a stiffen grunt at her face while my chest rises up and down.

"But you need me now, you can't deny it" she whispers lowering her voice while her legs catwalks to me.

Her body locks up the space between us as her eyes roamed all over my face.

She placed her palms on my chest, her lashes fluster at me as she bite her teeth.

Her breath poured on my face yet I wasn't moved and only saw her as someone I needed steer away from too.

"Can't we go back to just being us?"

Her fingers traced the buttons on my cloak as I only watch her seductive act on me.

My eyes grazes over her face as her body pressed against mine but I was unperturbed.

"Take those hands off me" I ordered coldly and her body stiffens in shock.

Her feet scurries back as she folded her fists, annoyed yet placed a stoic look.

"You need me alaric"

"I need no one" I snapped brushing off my shoulder blades like she's a plague I should avoid.

"From hence forth, you only come to me when I demand, now leave" I commanded, my voice surges with detest.

I could see the tears that clouded her eyes as she gnashed her teeth.

She hesitated for a moment, just staring at me like I'm someone different.

Yes I am different and it's best she stays away too, I need to get myself.

Giving a bow, she paced away, slowly, certainly wanting me to stop her but I didn't until she faded out of sight.

I stood transfixed, as my pulse raced yet I stayed composed. It took a while for me to leave and when I did, I found myself at the willow tree.

The favorite spot I'd imbed my solemn life with. The cool breeze, the bubbling from the water and the silent prayers of insects all harmonizes to bring forth a magical night.

I sat at the back, leaning to it and closing my eyes briefly to feel the moment.

My eyes watched the fireflies hover around the swamp water before me but then, my attention was divided when I sensed a familiar fragrance.

At first, I wasn't interested in the kink noise but then there's a soft hum as though it's drawing me in.

Curiously, tossing aside what's in my mind, I threw my attention to the voice.

I could see a figure, in a cloak too, holding a book? And then there's just this hand moving precisely.

I was enthralled just watching and forgetting every fact that brought me here.

A scoff escaped me as I could tell who it is. Escaping again.

I can't tell what's she's so engrossed in? How did she get out? How did she know about this place.

She's leaning to the tree too and that book feels as though it's a diary.

Avoiding her is the best and perhaps, I should let her live, run away? Or return her somehow.

However, it's against the laws because I made her queen.

I can hear others hate, but not hers, not her cuss, not those eyes.

My eyes scanned her, trying to sense an injury but she seems fine.

I coiled myself to the bark of the tree, as I exhaled softly, trying to be invisible.

There's no thought, no anger but just fascination.

I can't tell how long I was watching her until realized she wasn't there anyone.

She's hiding now?

I folded my lips, intending to rise up from the spot I sat only to realize my hands are tied.

Wolf.

All it took was shake that rope off as it wasn't even gripping me properly.

Rising properly, I scrolled my eyes around, to find her but I didn't, except traces of her footsteps which I followed.

I had to stop moving when I realized she had dropped her diary as though forgotten it.

Piqued, I picked it up, tossing it inside my coat and swallowing hard.

I had no idea what I'd do with it, but I suddenly want to keep it, perhaps grant the request written there, that way, she'd look at me again with...I don't know but it's not hate.

I hope she arrived safely.

***

Panting with trembling legs, I yanked my body closely to an oak tree to gain my breath.

I never thought I'd encounter someone one else. I guess that stranger must be after me.

From tales I heard, there are bounty hunters and crazy dragon owners or whatever they call themselves that capture others.

However, I doubt they'd be able to cross the gates to make it here.

I recently got to discover this magical place two days ago, after sneaking my way out from the palace.

Today, I just wanted to be here, hating myself for letting another kiss me.

Even if I wanted him, we had to stop or he had to because of some pledge of loyalty.

I needed to clear my head as it's been a long day and write out all my bitterness in my diary which I had hidden in my cloak.

Well, it's ironic that this place is inside the palace and so the best thing to do is, return to the room.

Inhaling softly, I pulled out from the tree, relieved that I wasn't caught by the stranger.

I doubt if he's a guard, judging from all those rings on his fingers, I saw earlier while I was creeping to tie him up.

Straightening my gown and cloak, I paced further, reaching the mini-bridge which connects a pathway between this side and the palace.

The weather was well, not too hard but comforting as the cool breeze of the evening consoles it.

It dried up the heat that had once brewed inside me due to the run.

I was already on the bridge but then something caught my attention. 

It's like there's a stone, being thrown inside the pond, beneath this bridge.

I could hear an echoes, a voice calling out to me and my curiousity was heightened as I found my feet moving to closely to the rail of the bridge.

The water sparkles and I could see a figure in it, calling out to me and a pale hand stretched out.

"Help" a serene voice echoes but my expression was impassive, as it seems as though that voice draws me to the edge of the bridge.

It's as though I was hypnotized and all I could think of was jumping inside the water.

The cold liquid rushes me like a whirlpool and my body was being tossed aside.

I didn't struggle, i didn't flinch, rather my wide eyes were opened and my hair covers my vision partly.

There's no thought in me and even when I intend to fight it, my body was stiffen like I'm under a spell.

I couldn't breathe, I could see another liquid mixing up with the water.

Blood.

My blood.

There's no explanation to what was happening to me inside this water but I felt invisible thorns, stabbing me all over.

I gagged, as my body aches but then fighting the urge to come out of this water is a waste of time.

My hands flails up as my body absorb the water while I sank.

Closing my eyes was difficult as it seems as though I'd witness my own death.

My body sat at the bottom as I wasn't moving any more. Looking up, all I saw was light flooding the surface.

I couldn't swim, react and struggle...I'm tied to something that controls me.

In my void state of mind, I could suddenly see a figure, swimming closer to me.

The only conscious thing in me was my inner thoughts but my body has been caged, somehow that I couldn't fathom for.

I was still, nor making a clear vision of who it was. I felt a grip around my waist and my body being lifted up.

As soon as I could breathe the air, I gasped and fell to a hard surface...a body?

My breathe caught in my throat as I felt cradled in an arm but my vision was still blurry and my eyes were drowsy too.

My whole body aches as I could make an idea of the environment now.

Leaning to this body, my laboured breath increased and tilting my face to look at who it was, the only visible thing were his worried eyes.

Maddox? I thought but couldn't utter the name, not when I'm paralyzed and barely making a meaning to what just happened.

Somehow, I had managed to become conscious but my heavy eyes closed up too quick to access whosoever pulled me out from there.

"Wolf!"

It's the last name I heard before closing my eyes.