Chapter 2 – Refusing to believe

Ame POV

“Calian?” I call out into the darkness, my eyes searching the stillness of the pitch-black room for my husband.

“Luna, how are you feeling?” It isn’t my husband, but a doctor who appears from the shadows, slowly moving from a corner of the room where a single chair is positioned.

“I…what happened?” I manage to ask, my words sounding hoarser than I had intended.

Not only was my body exhausted, but it ached from head to toe.

“You lost a lot of blood; it was essential that we gave you a blood transfusion. ”

A blood transfusion, why would I have been given blood. It wasn’t the known thing to do in the werewolf community, only vital when you were on the brink of death.

I track the doctor’s movements as he checks the IV drip I seem to be hooked up to, before writing on a chart.

A heavy fog clouds my memory, what exactly had happened for me to be on the verge of dead.

I know something is wrong, an ominous sensation is gripping me in the stomach, warning me to act quickly.

But my mind is unable to connect the dots, my body and brain working at two different speeds.

Then the fog in my mind suddenly starts to clear…

I reach down, gripping onto my stomach not expecting to find it flat.

My bump, where is my bump.

“My baby, where is my baby?”

“The baby…” He clears his throat, his eyes glazing over to a mind-link before returning to me.

“…the baby, didn’t make it. I’m sorry Luna.”

“The alpha, I want to see the alpha!” Even with no real energy in me, I still rip the tubes for the IV drip out of my arm, fighting against the doctor’s hands to climb out of bed.

How dare he even mutter such words. How could he…

My legs were unstable, yet somehow, I manage to climb down off the bed, using the frame to bear my weight.

“Luna I must protest!” The doctor frantically tries to move me back to the bed, just as the door opens, Calian appearing.

“Calian…” I desperately call out to him, my voice only just audible as I outstretch my arms, needing him.

He closes the gap between us, travelling the length of the room in long strides; his hands outstretched to catch me.

A concerned crease is etched upon his forehead, his eyes puffy and sore looking.

“Calian, the baby, where is our baby?” I use his frame to pull myself up, his arms holding onto me tightly.

“What happened here?” He growls out to the doctor, my gaze following his down to my arm that was splattered with my own blood.

“The luna pulled her drip out. I tried to calm her… ” The doctor suddenly starts to shake as Calian’s aura bleeds out into the room.

Never mind that, there was a more pressing issue…the whereabouts of our child.

“I don’t want it. Calian, our child….where is our child?” I swat the doctor’s hand away not wanting the drip, my hands clinging on to my husband for answers.

I didn’t care about me, about the blood on my arm, I only cared about the health of our child.

“You lost a lot of blood sweetheart, you need it.” Calian gently picks me up in his arms, cradling me as he places me back into the bed.

Stepping aside slightly to let the doctor re-administer the IV drip, also injecting a substance into the tube.

Why wasn’t Calian answering my question, why wasn’t he telling me where our child was.

An overwhelming call to sleep washes over me but my eyes refuse to close, even as I fight against the returning fog threatening to cloud my mind once more.

I watch my husband’s every move, intensely, as he places the cover back over me, refusing to meet my gaze.

He watches the doctor leave us, a sigh emitting from him once we are finally alone.

“What happened?” I ask, as soon as the door closes.

“Ame, you fell…” He perches on the side of the bed, reaching for my hand and placing it in his hold.

“…the baby…he didn’t survive.”

“Why would you say that…”

“There were complications, the baby didn’t make it.”

It’s not possible that we have lost our child, I can still feel him.

The connection was still there, surely if this were to be true, there would be a void.

But there isn’t.

Weakly, yet determined, I move the covers off me, pulling the nightgown knowing they had made a mistake.

If my child wasn’t born, then he was still in my stomach.

“What is this?” In the darkness of the room, I can make out the pinkness of a new scar, my fingers inspecting the area.

“They had to cut you open with silver. It healed well, but I’ve been informed the scar will remain.”

“No…” I repeatedly shake my head from side to side.

“Ame?”

“No…this can’t be happening. This can’t be right…I can feel him, I can still feel the baby.” I wasn’t lying, I wasn’t making this up, I could still feel the bond with my child.

I could feel that he was alive.

“The doctors said…”

“I don’t care what the doctors said Calian, I’m telling you that I can still feel our baby. He isn’t dead.” I reach out to him, placing his hands onto my chest, wanting him to feel the warmth that still glows with the connection to our child.

This wasn’t a phantom sensation; I could feel the beating heart of my son…the heir to the pack that I was Luna of.

“It’s not your fault.” He mutters out. I instantly drop his hands from my chest, as if his touch suddenly scolded me.

What was wrong with him, how could he even say our child was dead.

“Our baby is everything to us, we waited so long. Why are you not sensing he is still alive.”

I wasn’t losing my mind, I wasn’t insane…I knew, without a doubt, what I was still feeling.

I was a mother; my child was born and still alive…why else would I be feeling this.

“Because he isn’t.” His voice rises as his brown eyes flash black, his wolf pressing forward.

“But he is.”

Calian takes a prolonged intake of air, gripping tightly onto my shoulders as he almost shakes me to see sense.

He was getting increasingly frustrated with me, but I refuse to accept this.

“Ame, I need you to understand what I am telling you, our baby suffered complications after your fall.

There was nothing the doctors could do…”

“I want to see the baby, even if as you say he is dead, I want to see him.” I cut him off; I needed to see for myself.

If what he says is true, my baby will be waiting for me to bury him.

“That’s not possible.”

“Why not?”

He takes a long drag of air, his eyes closing as he seems to prepare himself for something.

“I need you to stay calm, you lost a lot of blood.”

“Calian, I need to see our child.”

“To spare you the grief, I thought it best to dispose of the body.”

It’s as if I had been shot with a silver bullet, my soul leaving my body as I look down on the world I was leaving.

He’s claiming that not only have I lost my baby, the baby I carried for eight months, the baby that kicked in my stomach, that gave me heartburn, brought me comfort every night I was alone….not only have I lost my child, but he has already buried him as if he were a dirty secret.

As if his innocent body could harm me.

“I know you wouldn’t have meant to harm the children.”

“Children?” As in plural.

“Shortly after the incident, Dessa went into labour…”

“You think I was responsible, that I did this?”

“I sprung her on you, I should have waited…given you more time.”

“What about Dessa’s baby?” I ask the question I didn’t really want the answer to. My voice turning a level colder.

Calian freezes, his eyes closing…I didn’t need him to say it out loud. Dessa and the baby had survived….

A flip switches inside of me, an anger I have never experienced before in my life. Not even when I heard of my own father’s death, this was something else.

“Get out!”

“What?”

“I said get out.” I scream out, flinging my exhausted body towards him, pushing him by his chest backwards out of the hospital room.

He pushes back, asking me to remain calm but I refuse. I was far too weak to fight an alpha, but he complies…finally leaving me alone.

I close the door, clicking the lock in place.

The severity of what has happened hitting me head on in the chest. My lungs tighten as it becomes increasingly more difficult to breathe.

My legs give way, my body collapsing against the back of the door, sliding down into a heap on the floor.

I can no longer stand; it hurts too much.

It cannot be true…yet I can’t deny the haunting look in my husband’s eyes.

My child is dead!