CHAPTER FIVE

Evelyn’s POV

Laudia apologised.

Laudia apologised so much that I was tempted to stuff one of those sour lemon rolls down her throat.

I get it. She was sorry. I hold no grudge.

Sometimes.

Okay, most of the time but Laudia is my person, she gets a free pass.

I sit by the window, knees tucked against my chest, watching the last bit of sunlight fade behind the hills. The peaguses were out today. Their large wings flapping around as they grazed by the clearing that surrounded the palace.

They were my kingdom's pride. Our national animal, some would say, only found in the Southern Kingdom. The South is a hot desert, the West too mountainous and the North, a blizzard winter wonderland.

They looked beautiful. From where I was sitting, they looked almost unreal; the fading sunlight brushing over wings, turning feathers soft amber, like fire trapped in motion.

On a normal day, it would excite me, fingers flying over a sketchpad trying to capture their radiant beauty. But today... Today I felt dead.

Laudia moved quietly around the room, folding the last of my gowns into the trunk.

Tomorrow we depart for the Western Kingdom. Our convoy consists of I, Astrid, two of her friends that are actually going to do the whole lady-in-waiting gig, a handful of maids and some soldiers.

Ew, people.

My nightmare.

I let out a sigh.

"If she sighs one more time, I swear I'm gonna bite her."

I turn around from the window, zeroing on the tiny figure sitting on the edge of my desk.

“Hello to you too, Pip,” I mutter dryly.

Pip folds her arms. “Don’t ‘hello’ me. You’ve been sitting there for hours, and I don’t think you’ve smiled once," she throws her hands up "Not even when Laudia dropped your nightdress in the ink pot.”

Laudia sighs from across the room. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

"Ugh,” Pip groans, fluttering from the table and landing on my bed with a sigh. “I leave you alone for one hour and you’re still here sighing at furniture.”

Dramatic much?!

I frown “I wasn’t sighing.”

“Oh, forgive me,” she says, with exaggerated drama. “You were brooding. Totally different.”

Laudia gives a small sigh of her own. “Pip, please. She’s anxious enough.”

Can we all just stop sighing?! We're acting like old grandmas.

"I’m helping!” Pip insist, tossing a tiny ribbon into the air. “If she can laugh, she can pack.”

“I don’t think sarcasm counts as laughter,” Laudia mutters.

“It should.”

Their bickering draws a reluctant smile from me. I’d miss this. Their small, constant arguing. It always made everywhere feel less... empty.

Laudia finally closes the trunk, placing a folded cloak in the trunk “Evie,” she begins softly, “This isn’t an ending. Think of it as a new beginning. A beginning filled with people who don’t know your past. People that would finally treat you human."

Human... Like a real person.

Isn't that what I've longed for? So, why do I feel myself hesitating?

"That’s what scares me,” I whisper. “They don’t know me at all.”

Pip huffs and plucks at a ribbon on one of my pillows. “Then let them meet you, the real you. Not the sad princess everyone whispers about.”

I look at her, surprised by the edge of sincerity in her tone. Pip notices and rolls her eyes quickly. “Don’t get mushy. I’m just saying, you could do worse than a clean start.”

A clean start?

Where no one would look at me with hatred.

Where I can finally be myself.

Wait!!

I think I am forgetting one key aspect in all of this.

Being Astria’s lady-in-waiting.

Ugh!

Just the thought.

Shivers.

“She’s right, though. You’ll find your place,"Laudia smiles, coming to stand beside me "Evelyn. Maybe even your mate.” She adds cheekily reaching for the hairbrush beside me.

I groan. “Don’t start.”

What?” she teases, brushing through my hair. “Wouldn’t it be nice? To have someone who looks at you with love and doesn’t see a curse?”

“Or a crybaby,” Pip adds.

“Pip!”

“What? I’m helping.”

I try not to laugh, but the sound escapes anyway. It felt strange, almost foreign, to laugh in this room. For a moment, the heaviness in my chest lifts.

We keep packing in silence for a while. The soft rustle of fabric, the faint scent of lavender soap, and Pip muttering about how boring human clothes are.

When Laudia folded my mother’s shawl, pale blue, soft as clouds, she hesitates. I reach for it, my heart squeezing.

“Take it,” Laudia says quietly. “She’d want you to.”

I press it to my chest, the faint scent of wildflowers still clinging to it after all these years. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do what she’d want.”

Laudia kneels beside me, her eyes kind. “You are. You just don’t believe it yet.”

Pip lands on my shoulder, uncharacteristically gentle. “And if you fall apart, I’ll glue you back together. Pixie’s honor.”

I smile through the tears burning my eyes. “You don’t have glue.”

"Semantics." She sniffs.

Laudia chuckles softly, then stands to close the trunk. “That’s everything. You should get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

I nod, but I don't move. The thought of sleep feels impossible. My gaze drifts to the window. The faint glow of the moon rising over the trees.

Pip follows my eyes and tilts her head. “She’s watching, you know,” she murmurs

Who?” I ask.

“The Moon Goddess,” she says simply. “She always watches her lost children.”

I am more than lost.

If she watches me, doesn't she see my suffering? Why can't she take it away?

Why didn't she take me away?

Laudia looks away, pretending to be busy herself, but I see the sadness in her eyes too.

“I don’t think she remembers me,” I whisper.

Pip leans close, her voice softer than I’d ever heard it.

“Then make her remember.”

The room falls quiet again. Only the faint hum of Pip’s wings and the sound of my heartbeat fills the air.

Finally, Laudia reaches out and takes my hand. “Whatever happens, you won’t be alone,” she says..

I smile weakly. “I’ll miss you both.”

Pip smirks. “Please, I’m coming with you. Someone has to make sure you don’t fall into a river.”

“Laudia would never allow it,” I laugh.

Laudia sighs. “If she hides in your bag again, I won’t stop her this time.”

I stare at her in shock, Pip grins triumphantly.

Laudia rolls her eyes but smiles despite herself. “Just promise you’ll be careful. Don’t trust everyone you meet," she pauses.

"Especially those who smile too quickly.”

“That’s everyone, Laudia.”

“Exactly,” she says, eyes narrowing playfully.

Pip flutters near my ear.

“And don’t eat any berries unless they talk first.”

I turn to stare at her.

“Why would berries talk?”

“They wouldn’t,” she shrugs. “That’s the point. See? Safety!”

Laudia groans. “Pixie advice is the worst advice.”

“Pixie advice saves lives!” Pip argues, tiny hands on her hips.

Their voices rise again, warm and familiar.

Gosh, I'm going to miss them.

I bite my lip to keep from crying, but a tear slips free anyway. I brush the tears away quickly, hoping neither of them noticed. They did, of course.

"You know, you're not helping," Laudia points to Pip. "You can do more than just running your little mouth."

Pip snickers"Nah, I'm good."

"Lazy brat!"

"Lazy is such an ugly word," she shrugs, picking at her nails. "I prefer the term selective participation.”

"Evie..." Laudia calls out, grabbing the hairbrush.

"Yes." I laugh.

"Can I squash the bug?"