Chapter Four:

Evelyn's POV

I keep my eyes on the table, blinking fast so no one sees the tears slipping down.

Then I feel it—a soft tap on my shoulder, a hand steady and warm. My head snap up, startled.

Theon.

My eldest brother stands beside me, tall and calm, his expression unreadable. For a moment, I think he will mock me like others. Instead, his voice is quiet, almost gentle.

“Come,” he says. “Walk with me.”

I hesitate, glancing around the table. Father’s frown is deep, his eyes staring at the hand on my shoulder. Ivan's eyes full of judgment.

Theon’s hand lingers just long enough for me to understand he means it. Slowly, I leave my seat, my legs shaky, following him.

As we step away, Astria leans toward her friends, her voice dripping with mockery. “Off to cry again, cousin?”

Snickers rise around her.

Gods! They sound like jackal shifters on a hunt. Mad.

I bite the inside of my cheek, holding back the words clawing at my throat. Before I can speak, the heavy doors close behind us with a dull thud, shutting them out.

I glare at the same guards by the door as they give my brother a deep bow.

Idiots couldn’t even catch me.

I let out a scoff and they flinch a bit.

Cowards!

My brother waste no time, barely acknowledging people greeting him as he speeds through. I will my legs to walk faster to catch up with him. Darn my short self.

Dear tall people, slow down for us short midgets.

I begin to slow down as we reach a familiar door. I reach out to drag him back from entering but he pushes the door, holding it open for me.

Goosebumps rise as I take in the room. My father's study. I haven't been in it since I woke up that night.

It seems like Theon has taken over it but It looks the same. The only indication of Theon's ownership is the change in scent. My father's deep earth scent replaced by Theon's mix of mint and chocolate.

His scent is everywhere. Mixed within it are soft notes of roses....

Selene.

The doors shut. The silence heavier than stone.

Theon rounds the large Oak table at the middle of the room and takes a seat on the throne-like seat behind the table.

I remain standing before the table staring at him. He looks every bit of the king he's going to be.

His jaw tightens as he folds his hands. “Sit.”

“I don’t want to sit.”

“Sit.”

The command in his tone leaves no room to argue.

I stare at him, my throat aching.

My knees wobble, but I obey, sinking onto the chair across from him. The silence stretch until I think I might scream.

He lifted his gaze. His eyes were cool, unreadable, the eyes of a king and not a brother.

“You spoke out of turn today.”

“Because you humiliated me,” I whisper, my throat tight. “You offered me up like a servant. Like I’m nothing.”

I clench my fists. My rage slowly building.

His lips twitch into a soft smile. “No, Evelyn. I gave you purpose.”

“Purpose?” My voice cracks. “To bow and scrape at Astria’s feet?”

He leans back in his chair, studying me. “Is that what you think? That I see you as nothing?”

I couldn’t answer. The truth pressed heavy in my chest.

Isn’t that what all of you see me as?

He sighs, his shoulders dropping. For a moment, the mask of the king slips, and I see the brother I remember from long ago.

“Evelyn,” he says quietly, almost a whisper “do you think I enjoy this? Seeing you suffer? Sending you to trail after Astria like a shadow?”

I blink at him, confused. “Then why do it?”

Why keep quiet? Why let them hurt me? Why pretend like I don't exist? Why?

These are questions I have asked myself everytime for years; when nursing injuries from being pushed, when nursing injuries from the hateful words, when crying myself to sleep.

Why....?

He turns his head to the right, looking out of one of the windows overlooking the large garden.

“Mother used to say you were her wildflower. That no matter how much we tried to keep you in the garden, you’d find cracks in the wall and reach for the sun. She wanted you to see the world, to find your mate, to love fiercely the way she did.”

At the mention of her, my chest clenches. The tears I have been holding back slips free, hot on my cheeks. “Don’t… don’t talk about her. It hurts.”

“It hurts me too.” His voice wavers for the first time, and I realize his eyes glistens. “Every day, Evelyn. But I can’t let that pain keep me from giving you what she wanted. What you deserve. She would have wanted you to go, Evie.”

Evie....

Just like old title times.

I press my hands over my face, ashamed of the sob that tears racks through me. For years I believed he’d despised me too, that he saw me the way Father did—useless, cursed, unwanted. And now, here he is, breaking open the cage I didn’t even realize was suffocating me.

“I don’t want to go,” I whisper. “I don’t want to be laughed at anymore. I don’t want to belong nowhere.”

Theon leans forward, “You belong, Evelyn. You just haven’t found where yet.”

His words sink deep, cutting and soothing all at once.

I want to believe him. I want to hold that truth close and lock it away where no one can take it. But doubt gnaws at me, eating away at whatever self esteem I have left. “And if you’re wrong? If I go and I find nothing?”

“Then at least you will have lived,” he states simply. “Not as the forgotten princess, not as Father’s burden, but as Evelyn. You will have seen what lies beyond these walls.”

For a long moment, I sit in silence, my heart pounding with too many feelings at once—anger, hope, fear, longing.

"One month. Just one month, Evie."

Can I really do this?

Finally, I nod, my voice small. “One month?”

“Yes.” His voice is steady again. “You’ll leave with Astria’s entourage. Laudia will help you pack.”

I nod slowly rising from the chair, my legs unsteady. My throat ache with words I can’t quite say. Thank you. I hate you. Don’t send me away. Don’t let me stay.

At the door, I pause and look back. Theon is already bent over his parchment, quill scratching steadily. But his voice follows me out.

“Evelyn… don’t waste this. Live. For yourself.”

For myself....

The doors close behind me, and I press my back against the cold stone wall.

For the first time in years, I am not sure if I want to cry because I feel hated… or because, just maybe, I am loved.

♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎♣︎

The servants seem to give me a wide berth as a rush through the hallway.

I slam the door of the library shut behind me. Finally alone, I collapse against a shelf nearby.

I wish mother was here.

Gosh! If she was actually here, I bet things would have been different. Ivan wouldn't hate me, Theon wouldn't be cold and dad would have been.... dad.

Mother was a light. She was MY light.

How did eight year old me take the life of someone so precious?

How come I can't even remember doing it?

It hurts. Everything hurts.

“Crying again?”

I flinch. The voice was small but my hearing picks it up. I look up through blurry eyes.

I didn’t even know when I started crying.

“Pip,” I whisper.

The tiny pixie hovers before of me, glowing dust falling as her wings flutter. She tilts her head, golden hair catching the sunlight pouring from the window.

“Oh, Evie…” she murmurs, her voice warm and laced with sadness. “I thought you swore you were done wasting tears over that family of yours.”

My lips tremble as I try to wipe the free falling tears. “I swore a lot of things.”

Pip darts closer, circling my head once before landing gently on my shoulder. She is no bigger than my palm, but somehow her presence always seem to fill the emptiness inside me.

“So,” she begins, swinging her little legs. “The bid bad daddy has found a new way to crush you, has he?"

Big bad daddy? Ewwww!

How the hell does this itty-bitty midget come up with these names?!

Wait! How does she know what happened?

I narrow my eyes at her. "Pipii......."

"What?!" She turns her head away for me "I was eavesdropping.”

I sigh, dropping my head back against the shelf. “You always eavesdrop.”

“It’s a gift,” she says smugly, before her tone softens. “He’s sending you with Astria. That's just cruel. "

My throat bobs. “It’s not punishment. At least… not completely. Theon said it is so I could be free. That Mother would have wanted it.”

Pip studies me, her bright eyes too wise for someone so small. “And do you believe him?”

I shake my head, then nod, then press my hands against my face. “I don’t know! My heart doesn’t know what to believe anymore. For years, I thought Theon hated me like Father did. But today…” I draw in a shaky breath. “Today he looked at me like a brother. Like he remembered I existed.”

Pip’s tiny hand brush my cheek, wiping at the tears.

“Sometimes love wears strange masks. Sometimes it hides under duty. But it’s still love.”

The words stab deep, and I let out a bitter laugh. “Then why does it hurt so much?”

"I.... I don't know"