Chapter 1

*Four Years Later*

~Shawna~

I sit in the back of the car, watching the scenery pass. It's been like this for the past four years. I've been a shell of my former self. Who could fault me, though? My one and only child disappeared abruptly, literally without a trace.

I've never been so broken, and there’s no way to fill the void his disappearance left in my soul. Eddie hasn't been much better. He’s been fulfilling his Beta duties, but he's also empty. We spend so many nights trying to comfort each other, even after all these years.

The new regime will take over soon, and I actually can't wait. I want to step down, and I want to leave the pack. Eddie and I discussed leaving the pack because there are too many painful memories. We need a fresh start, and it needs to happen now.

We would have left already, but we promised Alpha Blake Jamison that we would stay until his son took over. It was when our son was supposed to step into the role that he'd trained his life for. We promised to stay with the understanding that as soon as King takes over, we will be gone.

I look out the window again, and a familiarity falls over me. This is a human town that Aston and I visited often when he was growing up. Sometimes, we would take trips and we would always stop here on our way back. It's the last human town you come across before you reach packlands. It's about 3 hours away from the pack.

I went to a Beta meeting at a pack a few hours away. This meeting occurs only every other year, and I missed the last one. I wasn't ready to be around others, so I had to apologize.

I remember taking Aston shopping in this town. We would peruse the shops just to get out of the car and stretch our legs. We would always visit a diner, which served the best milkshakes for me and sundaes for Aston.

As we drive through the town, the memories become stronger. My emotions threaten to take hold of me, and I'm not sure I can survive that right now. I don't want to lose control right now, especially without my mate here to console me.

I notice the diner up ahead. Everything looks exactly the same, like time has stood still. I lean forward so the driver and my escort can hear me. “I want to stop at that diner for a bit, " I say. They nod in response, and I sit back in the seat.

It doesn't take long to pull into the diner's parking lot. I undo my seatbelt and wait for the door to be opened. I step out of the vehicle and walk into the diner. The nostalgia is strong, and I'm almost swept away by it. I look in the back and sit in the booth we always sat in. As soon as I slide into the seat, I close my eyes and let the memories wash over me.

“Uh, ma'am?” I slowly open my eyes and see a waitress looking at me with concern. I try to smile at her, but I'm not sure how it's turning out. “Can I help you?”

“I… I'm sorry. Can I get a cookies and cream milkshake?” The waitress smiles at me and walks off to get my order. I look around the diner, enjoying the sight of people enjoying their day-to-day lives. I remember being that carefree, and I miss it. There was a time when my life was happy; now, I spend my time trying not to drown in pain and sorrow.

A bell rings out, indicating the opening of the door. I look toward it, and my heart stops. A big, muscular man walks in. He has to be about 6’5, and his complexion is a nutmeg color. He's wearing a blue polo shirt, dark blue jeans, and tan boots. His muscles are exploding out of his clothing, but it's as it should be. He's facing me so that I can see his face fully. He has the same light brown eyes with extra long lashes. He has the same thick pink lips. His hair is the difference: long dreads that hang past his shoulders.

I don't know when I decided to get up, but I did. I don't remember moving across the room, but I did that too. I'm standing in front of the man, and he's looking at me like I'm a crazy person, and maybe I am. I reach out my hand toward his face. My body shakes like a leaf, but I can't help that. I try to touch him, but he steps back before I can make contact. It doesn't matter because I know what I'm seeing; I know this is real. “Aston, is that you?”

~‘A’~

It's been a long morning, and I couldn't wait to eat something. I was late this morning, so I missed breakfast. I spent the entire morning thinking about a bacon cheeseburger from the diner.

I walk in through the door and nod to a few waitresses that I see. I'm a regular here, so we are used to seeing each other. I plan to sit at the counter like I always do so I can order my meal. I feel eyes on me, which is a bit unnerving.

I look up and see a beautiful older woman staring at me. It's nothing new, actually. I'm not trying to be full of myself, but I get hit on a lot. For some reason, I'm seen as some kind of super beautiful man, but I just don't get it.

I look at the counter before looking back in the distance, but the woman isn't there anymore. I'm not sure how it happens, but she ends up right in front of me. Her body is shaking, and she looks like she's seen a ghost. I look around a bit, not sure what to do about this woman.

I look at her again, and her hand is reaching toward me. I quickly step back, not wanting to get caught up in whatever crazy this might be. “Aston, is that you?” Who the hell is Aston? “Aston, you're alive!” I slowly back up, not wanting to deal with whatever this may be.

“I'm sorry, lady, but you have me mistaken. I don't know you.” I turn and walk out of the diner. I get in my truck and take off. Truth be told, I have no idea if I know her or not. I don't really remember much of anything. I only have about two years of memories; I know she isn't part of them.

I have no idea who I really am or what my past consists of. I woke up one day, disoriented. I made my way to this town, and I just stayed. I found a job and a place to live. I keep to myself and have no friends or family. I don't even know who I am. I go by the name of ‘A’ because that was screaming in my mind. My last name is Smith because that's a typical ‘no name’ name.

I've been driving around for a few hours now with no destination in mind. The encounter at the diner bothers me because there's something familiar about that woman. It isn't that I think I saw her before, but something about her presence is soothing. I'm sure it's desperation to have a past, so there's no reason to put much thought into it.

I pull into the parking lot and turn my truck off. I get out and walk into my apartment. I missed lunch and should be starving, but the day's events are weighing on me. I kick my boots off and faceplant on my bed, letting sleep take over.