Chapter 9: Just Give Me Your Reason

CASS

“Argh! No! This is not cool!”

Akala ko ay akin na talaga ang kotse ko. I will be the one to decide anything about it and I will be the only one to drive it. Turns out, I am not in full control. Utos ni mommy-bear na si Chad ang magdadrive ngayon kaya’t sirang-sira ang araw ko.

“I will be your personal driver for today Cass.”

I crossed my arms and snorted annoyingly before I turned my head to the shotgun window grumpily. He just chuckled as a response before I felt him hitting a pedal to make the car drive faster.

At the back of my head, I could see my mom trying to look at me intently since I know she would be doing that if they ever saw me acting like this to Chad. Grabe naman kasi eh! Di porke gusto na nila kaming ikasal ni Chad, puwede niya ng gamitin mga gamit ko! I’m still single and I should be enjoying it!

“But I wanna drive! I want to drive my baby!” I bursted out and yelled at him like a child having tantrums, but just laughed while still holding the steering wheel.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be giving it to you after school, okay?” he assured to me and smiled before he focused on the road again. He was obviously enjoying this moment. He was actually excited when my mother told him to drive my car, and I bet he felt like he already have a right.

Wala naman akong nagawa kundi ang sumandal na lamang sa upuan habang nakapilipit ang mga brasong tumingin sa bintana ng shotgun seat. I was still pissed as hell when I heard my phone rang so I took it from my pocket to check. It was a text from the same number last night.

Good morning. I’m already here at school. Are you still on the way? You shouldn’t have let him use your car. He sucks at driving.

I slowly turned my gaze to Chad with my eyes slightly squeezed and frowning. He seemed to be too focused on the road so he couldn’t sense me staring at him intently . I thought this number was his?

May I know who’s this?

I replied out of curiosity while I felt goosebumps starting to form all over my body. Whoever this is, I just hope it’s not a psychopathic stalker.

“Who was that Cass?” I looked at Chad who was still driving seriously while operating the car.

“Nothing.”

Maybe I will tell him about this when I already know who is this unknown sender. I know Chad will be so worried and he might even pull some strings to track this person. Maybe I was misjudging this person then he ends up getting beaten so I didn’t want to jump in conclusions yet.

Naglalakad ako ngayon sa corridor ng campus habang sunod-sunod na tinatadtad ng text ang unknown number na panay ang text sa akin. Hindi kasi ito nagreply kanina kaya’t tinadtad ko ito ng tanong.

Sa sobrang inis ay parang gusto ko nang itapon ang cellphone ko. Mapupuno ko na ng tanong ang cellphone niya pero wala man lang kahit anong response. Kapag na-trace ko itong bwisit na to, lagot sya sa akin!

Patuloy ako sa pagtitext habang seryosong nakaduko para makita ko nang mas malinaw ang pinagpipindot kong letra nang bigla akong bumangga.

“What the hell?”

Sa sobrang pagkatutok sa cellphone ay hindi ko na alam na may tao na pala sa harap ko. Tumingala ako para makita kung sino iyon at agad na bumungad sa akin si Zeke na nanlilisik ang mga matang nakatingin sa akin, pero agad naman itong bumalik sa normal n’yang titig nang tuluyan niya nang nakita ang mukha ko.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered before picking up my phone on the floor then walked straight away from him.

Pinilit ko ang sariling hindi sya lingunin kahit kating-kati na talaga akong tumitig sa mga mata niyang nanghihipnotismo. I just diverted my attention to Trixy who just came out of the classroom.

“Beshie! You came!—wait? What’s with the face? Are you having period or something?”

I don’t know what to say to Trixy anymore. My thoughts were filled with Zeke and this creep who suddenly sent me messages like he or she was close to me. Bagsak ang balikat kong pumasok sa klase at naupo sa upuan bago sumandal at bumuntong hininga.

“I just hope this is indeed period.”

At least kung mood swings ko lang ito, I could just do what I want to make myself entertained. But in my case now, I don’t think anything or anyone can entertain me other than Zeke.

TRIXY

Nagpunta muna ako sa restroom para ayusin ang sarili ko matapos ang matinding sabunutan namin ni Cass.

We always do that for fun but in my case, I was really pissed because she was not spilling the tea for me. I thought we were friends? Friends tell each other their problems you know! What friends are for?

Pagkalabas na pagkalabas ko ng restroom ay agad kong nakita si Zeke na nakangiti habang tinitingnan ang cellphone niya. Titig na titig ito at tuwang-tuwa sa hindi malamang dahilan.

Kaya siguro ayaw niya sa bestfriend ko dahil may iba syang gusto. Well, fair enough now kasi magkasama na rin sila ni Chad.

“Trixy right?”

Bigla akong nataranta nang magsalita si Zeke kahit pa nakatingin siya sa cellphone nya.

Napalingon pa ako sa paligid kung may ibang tao pero wala. Baka may kausap ito sa cellphone kaya’t binalewala ko na lang at naglakad paalis pero bago pa ako makalayo kay Zeke, I heard him speak again.

“Tell Cassidy that I’ll still be waiting for her at the court later.”

CASS

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa naging balita ni Trixy. Talagang inabangan pa siya ni Zeke sa banyo para lang sabihin iyon? He still wants to wait? But I told him that I am not interested!

“So, what’s the plan?”

I don’t get him. Bakit niya ba ito ginagawa? What is with him lately? Bakit parang gusto niya ako lalong pahirapan sa paglayo sa kanya? I thought he hated me! He always said he doesn’t want to be with me at any circumstance!

“I don’t actually know.” Nakahalumbaba kong sagot sa kaniya habang gulong-gulo ang isipan. This is the first time he asked me to be with him. I couldn’t help but wonder, why now?

Should I go later? Or should I just ignore him? I mean, I have been ignored a lot by him so, is it bad to give him a taste of his own medicine?

“Kung ako sayo Cass, ‘wag ka nang sumipot. Mas malala pa diyan ang ginawa niya sayo ‘di ba? Naalala mo no’ng hindi ka niya sinipot no’ng prom?”

*flashback*

“Anong oras kaya siya darating?”

Naghihintay ako sa ilalim ng isang puno sa labas ng Mendel High. Nag-text kasi ako kay Zeke na wala akong partner sa prom dahil sumama si Chad kay Tito-papa sa probinsya.

Alam kong hindi naman siya nagrereply pero malakas ang tiwala ko na binabasa niya naman ang text ko. Pero mukhang nagkamali ako noong araw na iyon.

Natapos ang ilang minuto hanggang umabot ng oras. Pinilit kong maging okay kahit sobrang tagal na talaga. Panay ang hintay ko hanggang sa bigla na lang umulan.

Kahit na ang bigat na sa pakiramdam ay hindi ako pumasok ng Mendel. Naupo ako sa ilalim ng puno habang hindi mapigilan ang umiyak. Siguro naiinis na siya sa kakulitan ko.

*end of flashback*

“Yeah. I still remember it.”

Hindi ko naman ‘yon ininda noon pero parang bumabalik ang lahat ng hinanakit ko ngayon. I felt bad about myself but still guilty if I don’t show up on him.

“Then ‘wag kang marupok, Cass! Hirap na hirap ka sa kakahabol tapos padadaliin mo lang para sa kaniya? Hello? Ano siya? Siniswerte?”

Trixy’s words finally made me realize that it is time for me to make myself strong and move on. She was right. He made me miserable, and it’s just not right for me to make it easy for him after what he had done.

Walang maidudulot na maganda ang pagiging marupok lalo pa sa taong walang ibang ginawa kundi ang ipagtabuyan ka.

“You’re right, Trixy. I’ll ditch him.”

“Maybe tomorrow okay? As long as you don’t have anything to do, I’ll be willing to hang out with you.”

Chad asked me out but he had his training today. Isa ito sa mga naka-schedule na magiextra practice for the upcoming game next month. Bilang rason naman ay sinabi nyang “it’s not that I always ditch trainings” pero pinagalitan ko siya. He was a new member so he should not be ditching any practice. He should be polite to make an impression. Thankfully, he was tamed by my sweet words as he obeyed and decided to stay.

“I’ll try to clean my schedule tomorrow.” He winked at me before he walked away.

I don’t know why but it made me happy and proud that he listens to me. Chad was being sweet to me and I find it very nice. Hindi naman pala siya ganoon kasama. Nakakatuwa at kaya rin pala akong sundin ng isang Trevoir. Masyado lang talaga akong baliw kay Zeke at nasanay na hindi pinakikinggan.

“Clean it! Don’t ditch!” I shouted while his broad back was facing me as he walked forward.

After he far enough from me, I walked the other way to finally leave. I went to the car park alone to look for my baby. Finally, she’s back to bond with her mum. I started walking excitedly as I reached to the driver’s seat door.

“Cass.”

“What the hell?”

Halos malaglag ang puso ko sa gulat nang biglang may tumawag na isang pamilyar na baritonong boses mula sa likod ko kaya’t agad akong napalingon habang sapo ang aking dibdib.

“Why are you always yelling when I call you?” Zeke was looking at me dubiously while he stood straight and handsomely wearing his uniform.

Gusto ko na sanang maglaway sa sobrang kaguwapuhan niya pero naalala kong dapat ay galit ako.

‘Wag kang marupok Cass! You’re mad! You should be mad! Anghel lang yang kausap mo!

“You always scare the hell out of me!” I said but then I turned my gaze on the other way para hindi n’ya makitang kinakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko sa sobrang kaba.

“Did Trixy reminded you?” he asked monotonously before sliding his hands into his pocket.

Napaisip naman ako bigla sa tanong n’ya at nang rumehistro sa utak ko ang kuwento ni Trixy ay kaagad kong naalala ang pinag-usapan namin kanina. This is it.

“Yes she did, and I’m still not going!” I even rolled my eyes at him before opening the door of the driver’s seat and hopped myself inside the car to ignore him.

Nang maisara ko ang pintuan ay napatingin ako kay Zeke na naglalakad papunta sa kabilang direksyon kaya’t akala ko ay aalis na ito. I was surprised when he opened the door of the shotgun seat and then he sat beside me comfortably.

“What are you doing Zeke?” I asked him angrily even though my throat was trembling in nervousness because he was too close to me. This is the first time he sat beside me and it made my heart pound wildly.

“Sitting, obviously.”

Tiningnan ko siya nang matalim dahil sa pamimilosopo niya sa akin pero ginantihan niya lang ako ng seryoso niyang titig.

“Just take me to Devin—I mean my mother’s house.”

Napakunot ang noo ko bigla sa sinabi niya and the way he rephrased his command. It was like he had no idea that I already knew he was a bastard.

At kung makautos pa talaga ang lalaking ito! As if naman may gusto pa rin ako sa kanya!—Well, meron pa pero konti na lang naman!

“G-get out of the car Zeke.” I commanded to show that he was not in control of me. Not anymore. I should be doing this more often. Ignore him a lot of time to show that I am not into him anymore. Even if I am still and will always be into him.

Instead of getting out of the car, he squinted his eyes as if he was daring me to hurt him.

“What if I don’t want to?” he asked seriously as he leaned on the back of the chair with his arms crossed.

“Just leave!”

“Why?”

Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nagkakaganito ngayon. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung anong dapat kong maramdaman. I want to be happy but I couldn’t. I promised my mom to leave Zeke alone, but here I am, sitting beside him inside my own car. Well technically hindi ko naman siguro kasalanan ‘yon di ba? Siya ang pumasok. Hindi ko siya pinapasok.

“Pwede bang wag ng matigas ang ulo mo? Just get out of the car right now!”

I knew I still have feelings for him pero naiinis na rin ako. Ayoko sa hindi marunong sumunod sa sinasabi ko. I am a Castillo and people should be obeying me after asking once!

He remained still after I yelled at him, but what happened next shocked me. He suddenly hit the dashboard of my car.

“Why the hell are you acting like this to me, Cassidy? What have I done to you?”

Bigla akong natahimik nang tumaas na masyado ang tono ng boses niya. Halata na inis na inis na rin siya pero hindi ako nagpatinag. Bigla na ring umapaw ang galit ko sa ipinakita niyang asal. He doesn’t know what he did to me? For the past years he tormented and treated me like a dirt, he still had the audacity to ask that?

***