Before We Knew Better

There was a time when the most important thing that could happen to you was seeing someone's name appear on your phone.

You would wait for a text message, sometimes checking your inbox even when you knew there was nothing new. You would leave Yahoo Messenger open while doing your homework, hoping someone would come online. You would change your Friendster profile song and secretly hope the person you had in mind would notice.

There were no read receipts, no typing indicators, and no way of knowing whether someone had seen your message unless they replied.

You simply waited.

In 2007, waiting was something Elaine knew how to do.

She was sixteen when she transferred to a new high school in the mountains. Coming from the capital city, she was used to a different kind of environment. The streets, the weather, the people, even the way her classmates spoke were unfamiliar.

She had to learn her way around.

Jarred didn't.

He had grown up there. He was a member of an Indigenous community, familiar with the town and the people who lived in it. He knew which teachers were strict, which canteen served the best snacks, and which shortcuts would get them to their next classroom faster.

They were classmates, but they weren't particularly close at first.

Both were honor students. Both took their academics seriously, and neither was especially comfortable admitting that someone else might know more than they did.

Their first real conversation happened because of two examination scores.

Elaine had surpassed Jarred in Biology.

Jarred, on the other hand, had a higher score in Mathematics.

Elaine could accept losing a few points in an examination. What she found harder to accept was not understanding a mathematical equation that everyone else seemed to have figured out.

After staring at her notebook for several minutes, she finally turned towards Jarred.

"Can you help me solve this?"

He looked at her paper, then at her.

"Which part?"

"All of it, apparently."

He laughed.

She wasn't particularly pleased that he found it funny, but he pulled his chair closer and started explaining.

He didn't just give her the answer. He showed her how to get there.

She asked questions. He answered them. Sometimes she disagreed with his solution, and sometimes he had to explain the same thing twice.

It was the beginning of a friendship neither of them had planned.

After that, they started seeing each other more often during breaks.

Not alone, exactly. Their circle of friends gradually became one. They would share snacks, compare notes, and sit together whenever there were vacant seats.

They weren't inseparable. They still had their own friends and their own things to do.

But they had started looking for each other.

During one of their computer classes, Jarred arrived without his literary book. They were supposed to work on their documentation, and he had no copy of the material required for the activity.

Elaine looked at his empty desk.

"Where's your book?"

"Forgot it."

"How are you going to finish your work?"

He shrugged.

She looked at her own copy, then at the pages he needed.

Without much thought, she tore out a few pages from her book and handed them to him.

"Here. Use these."

He looked at the pages, then at her.

"You tore your book?"

"Well, you need it, don't you?"

He laughed again.

She would later discover that Jarred had a habit of forgetting things. He would also discover that Elaine had a habit of helping before being asked.

During their school's movie day, Jarred would arrive early enough to reserve a seat for her. He knew where she liked to sit, and he made sure nobody took it before she arrived.

He also had a habit of teasing classmates who tried to bully her.

He never made a big deal out of it. He simply knew when to step in.

Elaine, in return, became his number one supporter. She cheered for him during school activities, encouraged him when he doubted himself, and celebrated his academic achievements as though they were her own.

They were still just friends.

At least, that was what they told everyone.

 --

Somewhere along the way, their friendship acquired a name that teenagers of their generation would understand.

Mutual understanding.

They had talked about it, and both agreed that they liked each other. But they also made a promise.

Study first.

They were young, after all. There were examinations to pass, entrance tests to take, and graduation to look forward to.

They didn't want to rush into anything.

So they continued as they were.

They spent breaks together with their friends, exchanged messages after school, and occasionally found themselves talking longer than they had intended.

Their classmates noticed.

Some teased them. Others asked when they were finally going to make things official.

They would laugh and change the subject.

But Jarred had already made up his mind.

Before graduation, he finally asked Elaine to be his girlfriend.

There was no elaborate arrangement. No expensive gift. No audience waiting for her answer.

Just a question he had probably rehearsed several times in his head.

Elaine said yes.

And that was how it began.

They took their entrance examinations for different universities and eventually prepared for college.

They were about to enter a different world, one where they would no longer see each other every morning.

Neither knew exactly what to expect.

But they had each other.

At least, that was what they believed.

--

College was not as easy as they had imagined.

They enrolled in different universities, pursued education degrees, and learned that being in a relationship while trying to finish a degree required a different kind of patience.

There were different class schedules, academic requirements, and responsibilities.

Sometimes, they could only see each other during weekends.

Sometimes, even weekends were occupied.

But they found ways.

There was one particular afternoon when Elaine realized she had left some of her requirements at home. She needed them for submission at her university, and there wasn't enough time for her to go back and retrieve them.

She called Jarred.

He didn't ask too many questions.

He went to her house, collected the missing documents, and brought them to her campus.

By the time he arrived, Elaine was already waiting.

She thanked him, checked the papers, and hurried back to class.

It was an ordinary afternoon.

Neither of them probably thought it would become a memory worth keeping.

Then there were the days when Jarred needed a quiet place to study.

Elaine would use part of her allowance to book a study table for him. She knew he preferred having a proper place to concentrate, especially when examinations were approaching.

She would reserve it, send him the details, and remind him to bring everything he needed.

They took turns making life a little easier for each other.

There were no grand sacrifices. Just the occasional inconvenience one was willing to take on because the other needed help.

They learned to love through these things.

Eventually, they introduced each other to their families.

Elaine brought Jarred home. He became familiar with the household, the family conversations, and the small expectations that came with being welcomed into someone's home.

Jarred did the same.

Elaine became familiar with his family, his community, and the people who had known him long before she arrived.

She learned when to call his parents Tita and Tito, which relatives to greet first, and how family gatherings usually went.

The relationship was no longer just between two teenagers who liked each other.

Their lives had become connected.

There was a particularly memorable date after their respective thesis defenses.

They had been looking forward to watching a movie together. It was supposed to be their reward after months of academic stress.

They bought tickets, got their snacks, and settled into their seats.

Neither made it to the ending.

They both fell asleep.

When Elaine woke up, the credits were already rolling.

She looked at Jarred, who was still trying to understand what had happened.

"Did we just sleep through our date?"

He laughed.

They walked out of the cinema, still exhausted, and decided to get something to eat instead.

It wasn't the date they had planned.

But it was one of the dates they would remember.

--

By the time they graduated, they had already spent several years growing together.

They became educators, just as they had once imagined during their high school days.

They had survived different universities, difficult semesters, financial limitations, and the usual uncertainties that came with starting adult life.

They had photographs from graduations, family occasions, birthdays, and random afternoons.

They had built a collection of memories that no single album could contain.

For a while, it seemed that they were finally arriving at the life they had talked about when they were younger.

They had careers ahead of them. They had plans. They had each other.

But adulthood was beginning to ask different questions.