61 Frank Conversations

After a long shower, I finally crawl out of my little hiding spot, but Kirill isn’t in the bedroom. Quickly changing into jeans and a T-shirt, I wrap my chest and loosely tie my hair in a messy bun. I hear someone clattering dishes in my kitchen. Looks like the man is hungry.

When I step into the kitchen, I freeze a little. Kirill is standing in front of the open fridge, scratching the back of his head. And… nothing strange, right? But he’s wearing only sweatpants, sitting shamelessly low on his hips, and I can’t help staring at his tattooed bicep and equally appealing back.

Damn man! Where do they make guys like this? Then I smile to myself—after all, I gave birth to exactly the same kind! You can’t fight genetics.

“Don’t laugh at me,” I hear, realizing he caught me staring. “I was just thinking what to make for tea.”

“There are candies and cookies in the top left drawer,” I smirk, and only then notice that Kirill warmed up some food leftover from last night’s dinner.

We sit down for breakfast. It’s awkward and unusual. His bare torso and intense gaze make me flustered, and remembering what happened just half an hour ago, my ears burn red.

“Tell me, Vicky,” Kirill breaks the silence. “Since our first night, one question keeps bothering me. Why did you contact Nazar’s website back then?”

Did I just say I was blushing? Oh no! I really blushed at his question! But he’s looking at me intently, waiting for an answer. So I gather my thoughts, take a deep breath, and decide to speak honestly.

“You’re going to laugh at me,” I admit, not looking him in the eyes out of embarrassment.

“I promise I won’t,” he says, curiosity sparkling in his green eyes.

“I have a friend, Marina,” I start explaining. “We’ve been friends since childhood. When it comes to intimacy, she started learning way earlier than I did. She had a rather bitter experience the first time…” I look everywhere but at him. “…so I got scared. Since this is almost inevitable for girls, I decided to turn to, let’s say, a specialist in this area. To make sure everything went without terrible memories, moral trauma, or a broken heart.”

I see Kirill’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Vicky, are you serious right now?” he frowns, clearly struggling to believe me. “I thought your situation was really difficult, that you had to do it.”

“Well, yes, it was difficult,” I agree. “Years go by, and there’s no one on the horizon! I didn’t want to lose my virginity to a vibrator surrounded by cats after all these years!”

“God, Vicky,” my fiancé pinches the bridge of his nose, looking at me like I’m a foolish child. “What years? Know this: the moral trauma isn’t with your friend—it’s with you, because of your friend’s stories and, apparently, an overactive imagination.”

"That was my decision!" I defend myself. "And I don’t regret it! …Almost… I love my children more than anything in the world, and the rest…"

"So why did you always choose Nazar? Did you like him that much?" His last question sounded strict, almost angry.

"Here’s where you’ll really laugh," I blush again, and Kirill, leaning back in his chair, raises an eyebrow, clearly expecting anything from me. "I actually ran away from him several times. He saw my embarrassment. And if I was going to embarrass myself, I wanted it to be in front of the same person. My first time could’ve been equally embarrassing, since I was completely inexperienced."

"Vicky, you’re slowly killing me," Kirill shakes his head. "You’re one hell of an unusual girl!"

"In other words… an idiot?"