Chapter 6

Maddie

For the fifth time I'm adjusting my rounded glasses, keeping my distance so I wouldn't be seen.

My heart is turbulent, and my skin crawls watching them from the distance where I stood.

I wasn't only in competition with Veronica to have Jamie Doner but also with several other girls; the way she laughs at his dry jokes infuriated me, like she was doing it on purpose.

And her giggles each time he compliments every outfit she tries on.

I wished I was the one instead of her.

I was blushing to the shelves and never realized I was holding too tight to one of the clothes that fell to the ground.

Shit! I cursed, bending down so I won't be seen by them.

They were about 8 feet away from me.And it took only that to distract their attentions.

“Excuse me, ma'am,” said the attendant.

I was backing them now, but that didn't possibly stop Jamie from taking notice of me.

Nothing was different.

“If you don't want to buy a dress, please kindly step out of the store. You haven't even paid for the one you bought, and you're already pulling another."

"I'm sorry, but you have to pay for this dress.”

Sweat draped down my forehead. My chest is beating so fast, like a drum.

I was almost out of breath like I ran a 100-meter race, but I managed to do a few swallows before speaking.

“I'm sorry… “Just a mistake,” I said politely, hoping she would buy my apology and finally walk away.

But her disgusting look told me otherwise; she was already speaking so rudely.

I shut my eyes, hoping a miracle would happen and not attract Jamie to take notice of me.

“I suggest you leave, ma'am, or I will call security to throw you out.”

The cloth was a thousand-dollar bill. It's not like I can't afford to pay, but it isn't my own line of clothes.

I prefer jeans and joggers, not a short gown that reveals my laps.

“What is going on here?” My heart skipped, expecting Jamie but instead Carlson.

I placed a palm over my chest, relieved.

“She purchased this and hasn't paid yet and almost ruined another,” the attendant explains.

“How much is the dress? I will pay for it.” I wanted to stop Carlson, but those words stopped in my throat.

I wanted him to know I can pay for my own dress.

I hated conventional shopping but prefer online and doorstep delivery.

Saves lots of stress.Carlson and the attendant started to move towards the counter, but I still remained deep-rooted in my spot with the cloth that almost caused trouble on my hand.

Leaving, I have to pass through where Jamie and his excited girlfriend stood, who I recognize to be one of Veronica’s girls that follows her like a butterfly.

What will Jamie think of me seeing me with Carlson? I didn't want to pass the wrong message, but then Carlson turned around to see I hadn't even made a move.

“Are you not coming?”

“Umh…yeah.” I turned around like I was searching for something.

Everything but nothing.What would you do if you had met your crush in an awkward situation?

Awkward! Is that the word for it?

“Maddie, are you okay?” Carlson asked with so much concern in his eyes, wondering why I was acting the way I was.

Jamie stopped checking out the cloth Mara just wore to show him.

His gaze on me.He saw me… he saw me.

I shrieked and ran away, hoping the ground could open and swallow me whole.

“Are you…are you?” Carlson looked at Jamie like he understood the situation, and I was glad he never completed his sentence.

The words died inside his throat before he could speak them out.

Jamie's expression was unreasonable. Neither did he show any slight or even a glint of happiness or sadness in his eyes, and I felt really bad.

Is he taking it this way? I'm with Carlson now.

Somehow I felt this hope Jamie will finally get to see me, to feel the love I had for him.

Even if I was told I'm a dreamer, I won't ever believe it.

I'm just a girl in love. It's one thing to love and another for it to be reciprocated, but somehow in my dictionary I didn't care if that word ever existed in my world.

I'm willing to give up everything for Jamie only if he wants me as much as I do.

Jamie turns around like I meant nothing to him, instead focusing on Mara like she's the world to him, and that broke an imaginary rib close to my chest.

Carlson took my hand; it would have felt better if it was Jamie.

“Are you okay?”

My crush thinks we are together, and you think I'm okay. Why did I even agree to this arrangement? I should have stayed back at my dorm.

But those words never came out; instead, I flashed a smile, which came out like a glimpse, shaking my head.

“Let's go then.”Carlson and I walked hand in hand till we got to the counter.

Somehow I felt like looking back to see if Jamie was stealing glances at me, but I couldn't.

I might get my heart broken more.

The silence that was perpetually on our way home was enough to cause me discomfort.

Why is Carlson silent? Doesn't he want to talk about what happened?

And laid down another strategy for me to guide my heart.

Why does it feel so suffocating here? Somehow I saw myself stealing glances at Carlson.

His straight face on the road, and I kind of love the way he handles the wheel.

“Jamie is cheating on Veronica.” I tried to break the barrier, but he was silent.

“What happens if Veronica finds out? She will be broken.”

I continued hoping to force him to talk, but he didn't, didn't even turn to look at me.

I swallowed down the last of my pride, not wanting to think so much, but instead looked through the window and watched the trees pass by.

My head was in sync with so many unanswered questions, an uncomfortable mood, and a sore situation, not even to talk more of my bleeding heart.

I wasn't concerned about Veronica but concerned about me.

The moment I saw Jamie back at the store, I felt a thousand bricks block my chest till I gasped for breath.

Sometimes silence is a much better time to think through what I truly wanted, and that is exactly what Carlson was doing.

To allow me to get back my sanity, which I was losingBut I thought it was going to be different when we got home. Instead, Carlson dropped my clothes off at my dorm and drove away.

“Carlson, what the f*ck?”

Am I going to lose him too?