Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Time passes by, and I got used to this world I lived in, I just went with the flow, rather than striving hard enough to give my best effort over and over again just to amend or control the situation nor to make it back to normal. I strived too much but I gave up because nothing rewrote what was before my eyes despite of all the effort I did, I was still an object of aversion to all of them, and I didn't want to care anymore about what they mumble behind me, I didn't care about rebuilding their thoughts anymore, because the more you care the more you get hurt, yet things were becoming more and more worst than ever ... than I ever imagined.

"Miss, Ash, I'm sorry but we suggest you to move to another school," Mrs. Akitson said, our school principal, as I sat down on the stool in front of her desk. I almost lost my mind when she told me that... 'Why? What did I do enough to suffer like this? Can't they see that I am also a victim here?'

"But Mrs. Akitson, I'm about to graduate, can you just at least let me finished this school year? After all, I will be in college next year," I begged but then she looked at me with pity in her eyes. She held my hands and begged, "Ash, I know it's hard for you, and it is hard for me too,' she whispered and I pulled my hand and stood up.

I looked at her with teary eyes, "No, Mrs. Akitson, you don't know how much I feel, this went far enough, you can't just kick me out of this school, I've done nothing wrong," I cried but she still looked at me the same.

"Sit down, Ash, listen, I'm really sorry, Ash, but all students and parents were all complaining," she said and I almost fell on my knees, my feet weakened in slow motion. I knew exactly what her words meant, but why? I just couldn't understand their reasons. Why? Why?

I whispered, "How about my complaint? Are you not going to listen to it?" She was speechless and she gulped, then she hunched down her head and said, "I'm sorry, Ash, but it's a majority decision, we didn't want to damaged this school because of one person," ... "I cut her off, "And that one person is me?" I chuckled in madness and pain. "How will I damage this school? I'm not capable of that, Mrs. Akitson," I whimpered.

She never responds to my words anymore and I knew what she wanted me to do next, so I did.

"Fine, Mrs. Akitson, and thank you for not even trying to listen to my story nor debate for my case," I said and walked out of that unimaginable office.

I tried not to cry, I kept my emotion inside me as I walked straight to my room and got my backpack, and then when I roamed around my eyes, all of them couldn't even look at me in the eyes.

"Are they feeling guilty just now, or what? I don't know what to think."

"Stupid hypercritical people!" I murmured, and put my bag on my shoulder, I left and no one ever said goodbye to me not even our teacher who was standing in front of that whiteboard. She didn't even try to ask me why am I walking out on her time lecture, of course, what else would be the reason, she knew already.

"So you are all waiting for this moment?" I thought and when I was about to step out to the exit, Amanda grabbed me.

"Where are you going?" she asked and I turned around and faked a smile to her.

"Leaving this hell," I softly said and she got mad.

"Why are you leaving, Ash?" she chuckled and all I could see in her eyes were pain and madness. And then I smiled, "Thank you," I said and left but she grabbed me back again.

She didn't let go of my hands and she glared at our teacher, and looked at our classmates, one by one and shouted in the whole class, "What did she ever do to you all? She was also just a..." before she could say further enough, I grabbed her, and tears began to flow in her eyes when she looked at me crying, "Please, I also already had enough of this place, I never felt that I am still belong here anyway, so, please, Amanda," I said and looked at my old friends who abandoned me already, I bit my lower lip, but Amanda, she still didn't want to let go of my hands, I glanced at her, emotionless... I was too weak to withstand this any longer.

"But, Ash, don't let them do this to you, they don't have all the right to do this," she said but I begged her, "Please, Amanda, just let me go, I tried hard enough and this time I'm honestly tired," I cried and she slowly let go off my hands.

"Then, I'm coming with you," she said but I insisted.

"Please, Amanda, I know you care, that is so much enough for me, but this is not about you, but me, please don't stand in my shoes, you have to stay, let's just talk later, okay?" I said and wiped my tears as I tried hard enough to smile in front of her.

"But..." I cut her off with a hug.

"See yah, later," I whispered and walked out to the exit, I was glad she didn't follow me.

                             ***************************

When I left our school's gate I accidentally bumped into someone.

"Ash?" he said and when I looked at him, it was Christian from that orphanage I was before.

"Christian?" I whispered.

"Yeah, it's me, Christian, " he said and then I almost hugged him in excitement because I also missed him, I missed my brother-like friend, the fact that I only last saw him in the orphanage, the day of the anniversary, but then when I remember my admirer, I stepped back and he confusedly looked at me.

"Something bothering you?" he asked and contacted his eyes on mine and I was trembling and said, "Nothing, I have to go, nice to see you, Christian," I said and then left but he grabbed me.

"Ash, are you okay? You look afraid of something," his voice sounded worried, but I should not keep him closer to me even more, what if that guy was somewhere near us? What if he saw us? What if he would do something to him like Dravo? I couldn't calm down, I couldn't think clearly.

I hurriedly answered him, "Yes, I'm okay, Christian," I said.

"No, you are not, Ash, you look pale," he said and I shouted at him that made him startled, "I said, I'm fine," I gasped an air.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he said and I felt guilty.

I sighed, "I'm sorry, Christian, it's just, it's not a great day for us to talk, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you, I truly I am," I frowned, how stupid I was.

"I understand, I should let you rest for now, nice to see you again, and hope to see you in the orphanage like before," he said and smiled at me as he waved goodbye.

I smiled back, "Yes, sure," I waved back as if we were going to meet again, I won't let him die nor anyone else.