Those White Wolves of Mine

Missing Her

                With a jerk, I open my eyes in the impossible expectation that she is still lying next to me in bed this morning.

A dream that I have cherished constantly for the past five years. A hope that this one steamy night together will convince her to stay with me forever. Of course, I'm disappointed again, she's gone.

Without saying goodbye, she simply vanished into the night.

“Drina!” I whisper longingly into the pillow, craving for her warm body beside me, yearning for her loving arms around my chest.

We had such a wonderful time together, as always. Last night was the most passionate we ever had, we were starved after being apart for weeks. Like real werewolves, we went to it raw and steady, ravishing each other until we fell back on the sheets hours later, totally worn out. Sex with my mate is unique every time, no one was able to satisfy me before as she does now. Mentally and physically. She is my heart, my life.

I was the happiest man in the world when I saw her in my bed last night, in her seductive lingerie. And of course, she had me where she wanted me in no time, deep inside her as she breathlessly clung to my chest, her legs braided around my hips. She can do that like no other, she knows she owns me, is my oxygen. Every time I see her again, I forget the loneliness of the past nights I longed for her. When she is with me, she makes everything right, in her arms, I always feel like reborn.

A stabbing pain creeps across my chest at the loss of her now, my wolf howls in my head in despair. It is becoming increasingly difficult for him to live without her. The few hours she spends with us are by far not enough. We want more, we want everything of her.

We've been doing it this way for long and wary five years. She arrives as unexpectedly as she leaves us. Sometimes she is gone for days, in the worst cases, even weeks. But I always welcome her back into my arms without protest or reproach. Sometimes I take her on a date, then we fly in my private Jet to Human Town anonymously, to have dinner in a first-class restaurant where we talk for hours on end, only have eyes for one another. Or we go to the lake where I had a cabana built and we have some private time together. Recently I discovered a deserted island that I plan to buy for her. If all went well, the terrace I ordered to build there should already be ready.

Drina, my fated mate!

She is gorgeous, the most beautiful creation of the Moon Goddess. When I turned eighteen and couldn't find my fated mate among the she-wolves in my pack, I had already accepted that it would take a long time to find her. Each high-ranking werewolf yearns for his mate to perform his duties beside him and have the most wonderful experiences in life together. Not that there is a shortage of free sex in the packs. Nope, definitely not. But having your own mate and sharing everything besides sex is sublime.

And when I noticed Drina on an inspection tour of the border, I thought the heavens had showered me with all their blessings. She's the best thing that happened to me, our love is real. Only, she wasn't ready to live with me in my pack right away and be my Luna Queen. She still had unfinished business in her own place, she has to fix first. Drina did not give more details. But I was willing to wait.

I just didn't think it would take her that long. Yes, five years is a really long time. The waiting is draining me and my wolf. My pack members are getting impatient, the Alphas under my leadership are already expressing concern in our W******p chat group about my lack of attention to the female gender. I'll have to show up with a mate soon, at least announce that I have already found my fated. It's almost inevitable. I don't know how to start this matter with Drina, but I there isn’t much time left to fix this.

With a sigh, I sit up straight in bed. I take a few deep inhales to get her incredible scent of mixed summer flowers into my system as some kind of addictive drug. My wolf needs this to get through the time ahead until she's back with us.

I look out the window and see that it is open. She probably left in wolf form. A smile breaks across my face when I see a white flower on the windowsill. I get up, grab it and look out to the nearby forest. To my horror, I see my boxers tied on a tree branch near the packhouse. I gaze around the room to see if I might be mistaken if it's mine, but no. My boxers are indeed missing on the floor. My mate loves to pull pranks when she leaves, so I should not be surprised at all that my underwear is hanging on the tree.

Luckily I can laugh at her stunts, I got used to it. It would just be much harder for me to believe she left safely if there was no trace of her leaving.

Reassured, I go back to bed for an hour of private time before I start my hectic day job. My mind goes back to last night and my body starts to heat up. If I get this feeling just from being with her for a few hours, then having her with me every day, all the time, must be heaven on earth. I am now at the point where I want a family, not for the pack or any other obligation. Drina is the reason, I want to hold our pups in my arms before I get too old. Pups from her and mine.

I've put Drina in charge to determine the course of our relationship but now it's time for me to take the lead as a man. This unsatisfied feeling is killing, I need a plan to get her on board. First, I will spoil her in every way, court her like never before. Then I have to bring her into my everyday life, make her part of my pack commitments to make her understand that she is urgently needed in her position. If she notices that her absence as the Luna Queen is leaving gaps in my rule, she might decide to step up to the plate.

But I need a partner in crime, I absolutely can’t carry out my plan without help.

And no one is better suited for that than my Beta Jace. He is not only my second in command but also my best friend. The fact that I kept this relationship hidden from him for so many years really gnaws at me.

Time to fix this.