Chapter Three: Better Days Ahead

Peter and I grew closer with each passing day until it became totally impossible to stay without seeing him in a day. Mum and dad had no problem with him visiting because they knew him as my best friend. But the question still remained; what’d happen when they find us out?

His parents, on the other hand, suspected we were dating and his Mum tried to find out from Peter how serious we were by calling me  her daughter-in-law, and he responded by telling her to slow down and let time decide.

Anne, my wireless radio, would call me on my phone to tell me about the latest happenings. She called them fresh gist.

‘I love you,’ he would always say. ‘And I’m blessed to have you, baby. I can’t wait to make you mine for life.’

Those were words on marble to me, I always cherish our moments.

Peter would tell me he wanted two children and he would prefer a girl as the last so he could pamper her. ‘She’ll have your green eyes…’ He’d say.

‘I want four kids, two boys and two girls, I always reply. Middle ground baby he’d say… three kids. Two boys and a girl. Daddy’s little angel.

One morning, I went to his house at Jabi.

‘Baby,’ he said, ‘our wedding would be the talk of the town and I want to promise you here and now, that whatever happens, I’ll be by your side come what may, I will stand by you through hard times, my shoulder to keep you steady when you are down, my steady hands to hold you firm, you might as well get used to this, because I’d pamper you till we are old and grey. I will never break up with you unless you leave me first. I’d be your solace in troubled times and you mine, I’d hold you steady like the anchor of a boat; you’re my lifeline. Nothing can compare to the love I have for you my darling. Words would fail me but actions speak louder, I don’t care what your parents think, I will make them change that notion in their head about age. Its archaic baby.’

‘Age is just a number.’

‘I don’t know what to say, Pete.’ I always seemed unable to say how I really felt whenever he expressed himself so eloquently. I get so caught up listening to him till I lose my own words. Imagine a writer short of words.

‘Say nothing, Olivia. I know you love me. I can feel it in my heart. Just be rest assured I’m not here to deceive you, baby,’ Peter told me.

The way Peter was with words makes me feel sometimes he is a playboy, his appreciation for and understanding of music, the guitar he played and his height, dark skin and good looks confirm it, even more, any girl would fall for him and I was no exception.

I had once mentioned to him before we started dating that he would break a woman’s heart without even knowing he did that, all for the charms he has with ladies. It was remarkable then, that he hated poetry, the one place where I could tell him exactly how I feel. Though my fondness for him goes beyond all these, it was something I couldn’t explain. It stemmed from deep within me and made me so drawn to him. I lose myself and composure around him. I just wanted to be his bad girl.

To me, his love is warmth, comfort, and peace. He was all I wanted.  I only wished we weren’t in hiding. I would have painted the world red with his fire and cooled it down with my ice.

I grabbed my note pad which was always with me and wrote another poem while he observed curiously.

I’m your ice and you, my fire

You light me up

Give my heart the heat it desires

Your love is red hot

But don’t worry

Blue and white are my favorite colors

We match perfectly baby

Heat me up and light my cold gloominess

Though people say you’ll melt me

I say some people are worth melting for

Fire and ice

‘Baby,’ he said, cupping my face in his soft palms, ‘this is beautiful but, girl, I must warn you, I’m not a fan of poetry, I prefer prose. So, don’t be offended if I don’t share this interest with you. Just know that I think it’s a beautiful piece dear even though it is not the best thing to me.’

What he said dampened my joy a bit and my enthusiasm ebbed.

‘You couldn’t even pretend!’ I said, shoving him in the chest.

‘I’m sorry dear’, he replied. ‘I just don’t pretend, you see, I really do not want to feign interest and then in the future, we have issues like…“darling you use to like my poems, what changed?”.’ I forced a smile. At least he didn’t pretend or lie about it, I thought.

He began to kiss me and slowly taking off my dress. ‘Boo,’ I spurred, the sensation from his touch was threatening to confuse me. ‘I don’t want to have sex until I’m married.’

He smiled. ‘I know baby, it’s just foreplay, nothing more. I just want to make you feel like a woman, you know. I’m not going to hurt you and I’d never do anything against your will and as for sex, I’m with you on that one, I’d like to marry you a virgin dear. I have no problem waiting that long since in the end, you would still be mine and besides, I like foreplay better.’

‘What is foreplay?’ I asked.

‘You’ll know soon enough my darling,’ Peter replied with this mischievous smirk on his face.

I was visibly in discomfort due to his intruding hands.

‘Boo, please I do not want this. Besides, we aren’t alone,’ I protested.

‘I told Anne I wanted to be alone with you for a while so she won’t be bothering us. Mum and Dad have both gone to work so it’s just you and me baby.’

These words, if spoken to make me relax actually increased my apprehension.

‘Relax girl, it’s not rocket science.’ He began touching me on sensitive areas and slowly the feelings overwhelmed me and my fears turned into excitement; I gave in and surrendered wholly to him.

As he took of my dress, my heart raced, this was entirely new to me as he was my first. I was petrified. ‘Do you trust me?’ He asked.

I replied ‘completely, Boo. Completely.’ He blindfolded me and poured ice on my body.

‘Hello ice,’ he whispered. ‘Your fire is coming.’

He kissed my neck and with his tongue, he licked me all over teasing me with his mouth. I was shaking. it was an intense pleasure. Yet a little hurtful though.

‘It’s hurting Pete,’ I moaned.

‘No pain, no gain my darling,’ he said. He momentarily left me but returned almost as soon as he had left. The song, Earned It, by Canadian pop star, The Weekend, starting playing softly. He began caressing me. He kissed me all over, my boobs, my body… I moaned. Hands underneath my pants, fingers on my clits, he rubbed me slowly, penetrating his fingers through. He whispered in my ear, I’m going down baby. Almost as quickly as he said, his mouth cupped my clits, sucking and licking, my moaning increased.

‘You are dripping wet baby, I would be right back.’

Everything was pleasure mixed with a little pain; I was shaking all over but wanted some more. Slowly I couldn’t feel my body; little shocks everywhere; that was the peak he’d say later, orgasm.

When he got back, he changed the music to I’ll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men.

‘Have I ever told you I liked Strawberry flavored ice-cream? Well, I’ll make you strawberry right now.’

The cold sensation on my body intensified all I was feeling, my breath louder and higher I could not feel every other thing, I didn’t even know he loosed my blindfold. I could feel nothing but pleasure, my mouth tightened. My whole body tensed up. Peter noticed

I was numb and stopped. I was shaking all over and before long I felt him cleaning me up and wearing my dress back up.

After everything, he cuddled me and sang some songs to me while I surrendered completely to him. It was at this very moment the thought of the difference in age faded away. I fell for him completely. And I prayed my family would let me be with the man I loved. After all, it was just two years difference, I thought and as my thoughts faded away, I fell asleep and off.

Loneliness

With Peter getting ready to return to school, as well as Anne and Hanna; and John planning to move to his own apartment which he had already furnished, I started to feel extremely bored and lonely. I became so absent-minded and very uninterested in things around but more so I became scared of how life without John in the house would be, how lonely my room would be without my psychologist kid sister and most importantly, I was worried about my relationship which was still very new. Would Peter be able to break up with his ex? While they were not officially broken up, I usually referred to her as his ex to make it seem pleasant to me.

Peter had not broken up with Stella because she was writing her exams.

In his words, ‘I do not want to make her fail or lose focus because of me and besides, I’m a man of the moment. I’d tell her face to face and not over the phone. I am a real man baby.’

Peter’s school had resumed about a week ago but he stayed a week longer to be with me and sadly, he had just three days to go. Peter planned an outing for us to see a movie at the Silverbird Cinema.

He came to my house as planned to pick me up with one of his Dad’s cars to Silverbird at Zone 5, Abuja. On our way, I couldn’t help but think about Stella, if I were in her shoes how would I feel if someone took my love from me? What if Peter just got the message wrong or what if he wasn’t sure? In light of this felt I had to ask. My face bore concern.

I asked him, ‘Boo, what about Stella?

‘What about her? he retorted’

I continued, ‘would you just break up with her? Do her love and feelings actually mean nothing to you? Or is it just that you didn’t love her from the beginning.

‘I had loved you more from the beginning, just that you were older and my chances with you were so slim, thus I challenged my love to the second closest person to my heart and she was there to catch it. But things changed. he said’

He pulled out his phone to call her explaining to me that though he loved me more, and was willing to do anything to make me happy, he wasn’t willing to break up with her while she had her exams to write.

‘I would not want to be the cause of her failure, I would not forgive myself.’

He went on to tell how he unexpectedly discovered that Stella had another boyfriend.  He explained to me that he heard her talking to her boyfriend and confronted her. She didn’t deny it. And as a result, he lost trust in her.

‘It was barely a month we started dating, I noticed she would hide her phone to pick a call she saved as a private number. At first, I felt it was a private number until I noticed the contact beneath. I grew curious and took up her phone while she was bathing and noticed they have been sending love messages across. The most recent of the messages read…

Dearest I am confused

I love my boyfriend and love you too

It’s complicated and choosing would be hard

Let’s just go on one day at a time, ok

His reply

Come see me and I’d give it to you the way he never had before

Then you would not have issues choosing

That day was very annoying, while she was in the bathroom, I pushed the door opened, took some water from the bucket, poured it on her face vigorously to remove the lather from her face, and before she could move a muscle,

I forced a kiss to her lips without giving her room for objection, and with the lather still on her body, I had sex with her and told her, ‘he can never give it to you the way I would or better than I can’. I dressed up and left the house.

I held his hand, taking the phone from him, I asked him not break up with her till she was done with her exams, at least do not do it over the phone.

With his explanation, I felt a little better but still felt pity for Stella. What if she wasn’t actually cheating? What if she had ended things with the other guy and was ready to settle with Peter.

As if he could read my mind, he said ‘Think about numero uno for once. Put your happiness first for once my baby,’ he said kissing my cheek while I smiled saying ‘mind the road boo’.

Peter wanted everyone to feel jealous of me. The beautiful Olivia he would say, charming eyes, beautiful dark-skinned lady, and awesome smile. Beautiful, both in and out, a lady of virtue and my woman. He had no problem displaying public affection, kissing me in public places but I would always remind him of the environment.

‘I always get the beautiful ones’ he’d say with a wink.

At the cinema, we bought tickets to see Maze Runner. As the movie progressed, Peter whispered unexpectedly, ‘I love you into my ears, I miss you already.’

And subsequently, he would kiss me gently.

‘Olivia, get ready. When we are married, we would do crazy stunts.’

‘I love crazy too,’ I replied.

‘And I will never break your heart,’ he added. I hope so Pete, I truly hope so...I thought and sighed.

Peter and I spent every day together until he was ready to travel and knowing he would soon go, I’d  cry and he’d try to keep me calm by saying a lot of sweet words and so many failed attempts at poetry which would make me smile. When I’m calmed he would tease me calling me a cry baby.

Finally, the day came when he was to leave. It was the 20^th of January, 2018. How sad I was that morning, I could not stop crying. I was mauling over the possibility that returning to school would reunite him with Stella. What would happen next? How would things turn out? Were Peter and I really meant to be? Would I be the ex instead? How would my parents feel after they find out everything?

But I loved him! I knew I did. Peter was right. Live in the moment Olivia, live in it.

‘Gosh! I miss Peter’, I said out loud.

‘I know you do,’ Hannah chimed. ‘And you’ll miss him, even more, when I leave tomorrow, but you know, big sis I’m just a call away. You could even go to big bro’s house and when you start working, everything would be fine. All worries would be ‘I need to hurry, I’d be late for work’, she said mimicking my voice.

I Smiled. ‘That’s the spirit. Zero worries, fewer troubles. Now would you please stop crying and put a smile on your face before Mum and Dad discover and ask you what’s going on. Besides, John said to tell you to prepare for jogging. We are jogging to the gym today. No car.’

‘But it’s far!’ I protested.

‘The sooner we leave the better, Olivia,’ she replied, smiling. ‘Lazy big sis,’ she teased.

I smiled replying, ‘we will see who is fitter today between the two of us, oh “agile” baby sis.’ We both laughed.

As I got ready for the jog, Peter called on the phone. ‘Baby, our bus is leaving. I just want to remind you that I love you and that I miss you already. And sweetie, do not worry your head about anything, I have given you my word and I intend to keep it. You know, I never break my promises. Look, baby, I know you are worried but please try not to be. I love you and I feel lonely already. Baby, he added, come out of the house, feel the breeze? My love for you is cooler than that breeze. I love you.’

‘And I love you too,’ I replied still petrified that I would lose him but I was somewhat comforted with the fact that he always kept a promise.

‘Guard my heart, Pete,’ I mumbled.

Just then as I turned I noticed mum standing behind me.

In shock and fear of what she would have heard and how long she must have stood listening I said ‘You scared me, mum.’

‘Who is he? She asked curiously

‘Who mum I replied’

‘Don’t play shrewd with me missy she retorted, her pitch slightly raised.’

‘On the phone? I quickly asked and without waiting for any response I added it’s Peter’

Mum hissed. ‘For a moment there I felt you were in a relationship, I would have hugged you and even invited the young man to the house so I could meet with him and get to know his intentions. Olivia, you are 23years and never once have you had a boyfriend. Remember dear, there are no already made men, no one would fit your fantasy and reverie totally. Just love facilely and groom him to the man you want.’

As mum spoke on, I felt the urge to scream out loud, Peter is my boyfriend. How awesome it would have been to give her the satisfaction she wanted from me all these years.

‘Is it that they aren’t interested in you, Olivia?’

‘They are mum and I will bring one to you soon mum, I just need to watch closely and choose wisely’

Mum smiled, brushing my shoulder with a sigh, ‘just make me proud she replied.’

Just then Hannah ran in all dressed up for the gym… let’s go, let’s go she clapped along as she ran out and I followed behind.

Monday, 28^th January 2018. I woke up feeling like an only child. Hannah had left for school the previous day; John was preparing for work. John was an artist, very skilled in his artistry work. He was also a caterer and ran a big restaurant. He was his own boss. My kind of ideal guy. Sometimes I wished John wasn’t my brother, I would not hesitate to marry him. Once I told him “the best of them all is my relative, the rest would only try but they can’t measure up.”

Dad used to say that John took after his dad, our grandfather. John was the definition of a successful young man. I couldn’t wait for his wedding.

‘John, I can’t wait for your wedding.’

‘Whose wedding?’ He asked with a frown.

‘Yours, of course,’ I said laughing.

‘Soon enough my love,’ he replied, also laughing.

‘Sweet, I’m moving out today you know right, and I could really use your help in setting up for a few days. Would you do me the favour?’

‘Yes, big bro.’ I said. He kissed my forehead. ‘I, know I can always count on you, you are just the best in the whole world. See you when I get back.’

I had healthy envy for John. He knew how to handle all situations and readily had the right words to speak at the right time. I was so lucky having him as my big brother. I loved him so much. I knelt down to pray for my family. While we prayed as a family every morning and night, I enjoyed my own personal quiet time, where I had the liberty to ask God anything and pour my heart to him. I prayed for my family, a job, and my love life... please make it work LORD, please my heavenly father.