Chapter Two: A New Feeling

Peter’s kid sister called on the phone the next morning.

‘Olivia you have bewitched my brother. All he talks about is you. And I’m so happy girlfriend or should I say sister-in-law?’ I laughed.

‘Slow down sugar plum, we are not married yet, he has to put a ring on it’

She laughed and said she’d be at my place for some girl talk. Peter’s younger sister Anne was one of my young friends, she looked up to me and always confided in me about any issue bothering her and I would try to help out the best way I could. Pete called her his twin. And they were inseparable at times. They shared every secret together.

Anne was at my house at 11 o’clock, the next morning.

She wore an awesome smile when she hugged me. ‘Hi, girlfriend! How do you do?’

I beamed at her warmly while asking her to join me wrapping up my late breakfast of bread and fried eggs. She declined.

Without hesitation, Anne said, ‘Olivia, Peter gave me the news yesterday, I honestly didn’t believe you’d accept my brother after two full years. What change girlfriend? Wait! What charms did he use now which he did not use before? How do you feel? Great? how...? I interrupted her.

‘Slow down girl. Don’t choke me with your questions, one at a time.’

She giggled excitedly. I continued. ‘I just decided to do me. I like Peter a lot and the heart chose not to remember the age difference so I decided to abandon reasoning. For someone to ask you out and still stick around for so long, girl, that’s hard to come by.’

‘Olivia, do you love my brother or you pity him?’, she asked me.

‘I love him, Anne. He is my first and I’m really excited about this new phase in my life.’

Anne replied, ‘I am very happy, girlfriend. We would be sisters, she smiled while giving me a side hug. My brother has made the best decision ever in recent memory. He deserves an accolade’

Then her expression changed. Her face bore some concern. So I poked.

She sighed.

Never mind girlfriend’. I gave her a concerned look

‘But dear she spoke, you know Peter has a girlfriend right? They started dating about two months ago’.

I must have been hit by a sledgehammer traveling at 60km an hour because I felt the air flee from my lungs.  My mouth went dry. I struggled to process what I had just heard. Eventually, I found my voice and some composure.

‘Well, he never told me,’ I muttered almost inaudibly.

‘I won’t ask him. I’d watch and see if he’ll tell me.’

My countenance changed immediately. And I could deduce Anne felt bad about telling me.

‘Girlfriend I’m so sorry. I thought you knew.’

She drew close and hugged me, muttering, I’m sorry. Momentarily I was lost in wild thoughts traveling like explosives through my head. Why would Peter do this to me? Why didn’t he tell me? Was he trying to play with two girls or did he accept me only to spite me? Did he genuinely love me? Tears began to roll down my cheeks and the brightness which had lit my face all morning faded into sadness. Anne was remorseful. But it wasn’t her fault. She spoke out loud I did not know girlfriend, I’m truly sorry.

Just then my phone rang. It was from Peter. I would not pick up but for the pity lock Anne wore, I reluctantly picked up.

‘Hey boo’, I said.

‘Are you home? He asked.

‘Yes, I am.’ I replied coolly.

‘I’ll be there in about forty minutes.’

I grunted, by way of responding.

‘Baby,’ he said. ‘You don’t sound good. Are you sure you are okay? What is troubling my heartthrob? I’ll try coming sooner okay? I love you, sweetie.’

My only reply was the okay which I mumbled earlier.

Anne collected my phone and told Peter to come over as soon as his legs could carry him.

Double mindedness

Anne brought up some other topics to cheer me up. She just got admitted into the University of Ibadan to study English and Literature and since she is a very beautiful and tall girl, a lot of guys were queuing up to take her out.

‘Ebuka is my coursemate and the class representative. He would not stop bugging me. I’m too young to be anyone’s girlfriend. I’m just seventeen; and I don’t even like him.’

She talked for a long time about Ebuka, Olaniyi, and James. About their competition on who would win her love, like she was some kind of trophy. I would interject intermittently or laugh and explain things to her; how boys behave and how to handle most of them.

‘Olaniyi would not stop flaunting cash at my face and telling other boys ‘she’s not in your league’ and that people of the same social class should only be with their kind. ‘We match, she and I so back off.’ I despise him for that girlfriend.’

‘Anne, your only crime is that you are beautiful. They’ll keep coming. Just be sure you know what you want and never catch shadows and lose the main goal. Remember to always remain focus because every other thing is secondary in such an environment.’

As we talked on, Peter came in, made to kiss my lips, I jilted a bit, and his lips landed on my head instead.

He sat down.

In my mind, I wanted to yell at him, and ask him why he never told me he had a girlfriend. I would never have accepted him. I would not feel this hurt and rising anger in me, I would not bug my head about things that ought to be fun. There was a knife lying around the corner; I could just reach for it and stab him and end this whole misery, I sighed saying, ‘Hey baby, welcome’, with the least enthusiasm. I could not hide my anger. He turned to his sister.

‘What’s bothering my lady, girls talk gone bad?’

Peter held my hands and said, ‘I couldn’t sleep last night. You made me really happy last night and really worried at the same time baby. I love you so much, Olivia. I could do anything for you. I was so happy yesterday, the first of January when you said ‘yes’ to me that I totally forgot to tell you I had a girlfriend. Though we have been apart for a while and we’ve had a lot of differences lately, I have not officially ended things with her. I found out she had someone else without telling me.

As he spoke I felt like just screaming the words, ‘it’s not worth it Pete, let us just say our goodbyes, and go separate ways’ but then the ache in the heart, the burning desire to be in his arms, to hear him sing to me couldn’t let me think straight.

‘I’m done for, I really I’m just a fool for love’.

I had traveled far in thoughts that I did not even hear the rest words as they proceeded from his mouth, just the lip movements, and his motions till Anne tapped me saying where are you, girlfriend, come back to reality.

‘I saw her texts to him Peter continued, I knew then she was just not mine any more’.

I’m sorry I did not tell you about her sooner. This is because secretly, I still wanted us to be a thing; the best friend thing was not cutting it for me. I knew if I mentioned it, you would never accept me, so I was being hopeful and clinging to that last thread and praying you’d accept me.’

He kept talking rapidly, barely leaving any room for me to process what he was saying.

‘Olivia baby, please do not change your mind about us, I beg you. Give me some time to go back to school and clear this whole mess. It’s you and no one else.’ Tears were rolling down his cheeks now; my defenses were only as solid as a sandcastle now. I was broken completely. I hugged him tightly, assuring him that I understood his position.

After the air was cleared and all tension sufficiently was subdued, my excitement gradually returned.

Peter, Anne, and I decided to see a movie on his tablet titled Jumanji. Soon after the movie ended, they left for home at about 6 pm leaving me alone with my thoughts.

‘Oh, I love him,’ I said out loud. But how can I tell mum, she’d never approve of him. What if he does not break up with the other girl? How would I survive? Am I the other woman in his life?

‘Olivia, what is wrong with you? What are you doing? Olivia, you are in some mess, barely forty-eight hours into your maiden relationship, ‘I soliloquized.

I grabbed my note pad, thought for a while on what to do to ease my discomfort. It struck me and with teary eyes, I began writing a poem.

My thoughts were lifted and my burden light

But not long till hurt becomes my bread

My heart torn between a smile and a sigh

A twain feeling of a moon and sun

I welcomed the ice but the fire wasn’t far

Would you be a friend or a foe?

Dear happiness please leave behind the fire

And welcome and embrace the ice

I won’t be able to bear it, not at all

Happiness is a double-edged sword

A pretty friend and an ugly foe.

I closed my note pad, went to the sitting room to greet my parents. I had earlier prepared Oha soup during the day so I dished out some for dinner.

Mum noticed I wasn’t as happy as I was earlier in the morning before she and daddy left the house.

‘Olivia, are you okay?’ She asked. ‘You look like you just lost a million dollars bet to someone. What’s wrong my girl?’

‘I’m awesome Mother,’ I replied with a feigned smile. I could tell that’s a simper. Mum loved the dictionary and always used a new word as often as she could.

‘What’s going on in your mind? Boy trouble?’ Mum persisted.

‘It’s about time you know. I should have met your boyfriend by now dear, It...’

Dad cut in. ‘Oh honey, let the poor girl be. She’s clearly not happy.  Now is not the time to inundate her with relationship questions.’

‘Thank you, Daddy.’ I smiled weakly at him, with some obvious relief.

I adored Dad because he listened more and knew what to do every time to get me out of situations with Mum. Mum on the other hand was very strict. Although she was caring, she gets angry easily and manages anger poorly. But she also had a soft spot; no matter how angry she’d get, a simple ‘I am sorry’ could fix everything.

That was something she and Daddy got in common. Hannah, my kid sister followed me to the kitchen. She was nineteen.

‘Big sis, what’s up? You know we share secrets right? Why then, the sudden change of mood? You were so excited when John and I left this morning and now you’re not.’

She seemed concerned, so I confided.

‘I have a boyfriend’, I heard myself saying forcefully.

‘Wow! Congrats sis,’ she said smiling.

‘I don’t get why you’re so down. We should be celebrating, don’t you think? Mum would be so happy, you know it’s time right, she said mimicking mum’s voice.’

‘It’s Peter’ I said.

‘What about him’

‘He’s my boyfriend.’

‘Oh,’ she said. I get why you’re so down. Mum will never approve. You must tell John.

John was my 25-year-old elder brother, who for some reason had a way of convincing our parents, especially Mum. If anyone could help, it’s definitely him. I sighed and served the meal.

We all ate as a family on the dining table.

And Dad spoke his catchphrase, ‘a family that eats together…’

‘Stays together,’ we all echoed.

After dinner, Hannah cleared the table and did the dishes, while I grabbed John by the hand and pulled him to my room. Our house was a six-bedroom flat. With pure white paintings. The only things which weren’t white were the furniture and then the designs on the walls in our rooms. Dad had always been particular about his walls so we grew up with the saying “No hands on the wall”. Mum and dad occupied one, Hannah and I had rooms, John had one to himself and then there were two for visitors. Hannah and I loved sharing rooms, so it was normal to find us in each other’s rooms at any given time.

‘Hey, honey, what’s up? What’s the matter, I hope...’

‘Peter and I are a thing now,’ I cut in.

John paused, Peter? Your bestie? Smiling at me, he said; ‘Is that why you’re so tense? He pulled me to the bed and sat me beside him.

‘Honey,’ he said, ‘But girl don’t beat yourself up; the heart wants what it wants. Whenever you feel like letting Mum and Dad know about it, I’m by your side. So don’t worry your pretty self about it.’ He was such a calming presence, my big brother.

‘He has another girlfriend,’ I  blurted out forcefully.

John looked puzzled a bit.

‘What do you mean by that? You agreed to date a guy who already has a girlfriend?’

I held up an apologetic hand, took his hands in mine as I explained the issue to him. I recounted all that Peter had told me with teary eyes. He drew me closer and cuddling me he said, if he truly loves you and is willing to give up everything for you then he’s worth a shot. Smile honey, the world is not on your head, no man is worth your tears but Jesus he said almost inaudibly. I smiled. ‘Besides I’d like to speak to him. He shouldn’t lure you in if he isn’t serious. I would not want you to get a broken heart just from your first few hours into a relationship’.

John must have been an angel in his former life if that exists. He has this calming and suiting way of reassuring anyone that all is well.  With him around, the atmosphere had a different feel; my head on his chest everything felt better at that exact moment. ‘I love you, big brother,’ I said affectionately.

‘I love you too, little sis,’ he replied.

‘Please don’t tell Mum and Dad yet till I get this figured out,’ I said.

‘Absolutely honey!’ He replied, kissing my forehead and cuddling me tightly in his arms, he cooed ‘my big baby’. I love my big brother, his presence is peace. He was the twin I never had. I thanked God for giving me such a shoulder that is ever willing to carry my burdens and make me feel lighter.

That night, Dad called the family together for prayers. As we gathered he held my hands. ‘Olivia baby, cheer up okay, you’ll get a job soon enough don’t be weighed down. Remember you can talk to me about anything.’ I smiled at him and said thanks, dad.

As we knelt down to pray Daddy reminded us that, ‘A family that prays together…’

‘Stays together,’ we echoed.