43 || Just life

Ebun thinks I should sort out my emotions, heal right before getting into any romantic entanglement. She didn’t mention Calum, she doesn’t know him but she knows I have a baby daddy who wants to be involved in my life. It was a suggestion, an opinion, not a fact. That’s one of her favourite lines. I think she says that so she can’t get in trouble with her clients. I like her until she starts with the deep, thought-provoking questions.

I place a gown on the bed and step back to picture myself in it. I have another session with her later in the day. Calum volunteered to drive me. He lives here now. Jason stops by more often for Calum to practise with his guitar. That vision of the two men bonding over music is one Amelia would have loved to see. But it’s okay. She’s in her world, she is watching all of us. And it’s not my fault. It’s not her fault she’s not here. It’s just life.

A tear rolls down the corner of my eyes and I wipe it off. Ebun thinks crying is good. I think sex is better