Too Tired To Continue

“Wife, the meat is overcooked.”

My hands trembled a little as Alec's voice cut through the hissing sound of the meat on the grill. “It’s rare for you to ask, hubby.”

It was the night of the Sacred bonfire and I was eagerly preparing the meat meant for Alec, the Alpha of Crest view Pack and my chosen mate. It's been days I had such a bonding with him in midst of the pack. Maybe I was too caught off by my emotions and let the meat keep cooking.

My dress clung where it wasn’t supposed to. I had pulled the laces tighter. I hated it but I had no choice. I had to please Alec. Yet, it hadn’t helped as the extra lumps kept flagging.

He glanced sideways, disgust sitting perfectly on that gorgeous face of his. He didn’t look at me again, even when I placed the platter down at his feet. His eyes were glued to someone else.

Her. Selene Alberto, the daughter of the late Gamma.

I bite down my lips. Selene was lean, so slim that she was all angles and sharp hips and, no extra anything. She was nothing like the version I had seen everyday in my mirror.

The version I couldn't hate.

The version that was 320lbs, with a round face, full cheeks, plump lips, and a short thick neck that folds when I tilt my head.

The version that was me.

My lips curled with creases I tried so hard to stop, but as I handed him the platter, I felt the wetness in my cunt. I bite my lips, my eyes fixed on Alec. Fuck! Did I feel my heat?

I muttered. " Alec, you can have a taste first." Then I added, moving close to him." Either is fine, though."

He finally looked at me. His eyes dragged over my body, slow and cold while I fought back the urge to wrap myself around him that instant.

But then, he spat out. “Taste? It's bland. Both are bland. Did you take a look at your waistline? You’ve been eating again.”

That instant, I felt dry. My broad shoulders slope into heavy upper arms as my large chest heaved unevenly.

" You don't have to be so cruel to me, Alec. I am still your wife. Your mate."

His gaze held mine, colder and even more distant." You could have thought about that before appearing like a dough."

A few wolves nearby snorted. One muttered, “Unworthy of his line.”

Alec didn’t correct him. That was worse than if he’d said it himself.

I forced a smile and retreated. I would try and get it right next time. I was going to eat less food and do more exercise. If I just tried harder, he would see me.

And not the girl who took up too much space.

The drums started beating loudly amidst the moonlight that pierced through the dark clearing. It was finally the most anticipated time of the night.

Dancing meant choosing a partner.

A small smile crept up my face, waiting eagerly for Alec’s hand as I made to stretch out mine. " Hubby, it's time for our dance."

It was the Pack law and also every mate’s right, too.

Even if he hates my size, he wouldn't embarrass me. He never had. In the past two years, Alec had always respected me in public. Not until last year when everything changed with her around.

He smirked, avoiding my outstretched hand." Yeah. It's time for our dance."

I clenched my fist so hard, still waiting for him. Instead he held out his hand to Selene. That same Selene that had made my Alec a different person.

Selene slid into his arms like she had been made for them. I couldn't fight. I couldn't utter any word. I just stood like a lone wolf as my Alec spun her once, twice, and she laughed up at him.

I watched helplessly, fighting back the pricking in my eyes. Then my wet eyes watched as he said something low against her ear while those lean cheeks went pink.

I stood there, claws digging into my sides. Different thoughts kept dancing in my mind, my worthlessness clawing deeper than ever.

If I lose weight, he’ll love me.

I repeated it like a prayer until the dance ended and my lungs hurt from not breathing.

*

After that bonfire, I went back to my room.

Two weeks of starving, shifting, shrinking, and the compliment I get was that of disgust.

Alec had been away for days and he only came back because of the traditional bonfire. Tonight happened to be my heat period. My inside tingles, wet and slick. I smelled like a slut awaiting to be fucked. I would have endured, just like countless nights before.

Not until, Mira, my serving omega, came running to me, breathing heavily." Luna, the Alpha..."

My heart thumped." What happened to the alpha?"

Trying to catch her breath, Mira continued." One of the omegas said she heard his voice from the private chamber, drunk and was calling for the Luna."

Drunk? And he was calling for me?

I bolted without a second thought, tracing his scent as I made my way towards the private chamber until I caught his scent. There was another scent too, almost familiar. Maybe it was his personal omega tending to him.

Then I heard the love dipped voice," My Luna...I can't wait to bang you till you beg for more."

My heart ticked with each second, swelling as I let my imagination run wild. Could it be that Alec smelled my heat and wanted me tonight? With hands that held too tightly the hem of my skirt, I slowly pushed the door.

My eyes went rigid, my lips suddenly turning pale as I stared at Alec on the bed. He wasn't alone. I watched as Alec had Selene pressed against the bed. His hand was in her hair, kisses moving all around her body. Selene’s was under his shirt. Not flirting. Not dancing like tonight.

This was claim. The betrayal hit harder than I thought.

My claws elongated and I banged the door so hard that I thought it would fall off. They broke apart, slowly getting themselves fixed.

Alec wore a grim look, creases appearing on his forehead. There was nothing of regret. Instead, his eyes bore through me, like I didn't just caught him in bed with that slut.

I swallowed hard, my breathing hollowed." Luna? You called this bitch your Luna? Why, Alec?"

He scoffed, enough to bring the heat on my face. The usual heat of embarrassment. " Why? Isn't being trapped to a 300+ pounds jelly trash enough reason to look elsewhere? I can't even bring you to function without being laughed at."

Selene adjusted her dress, smirking at me. “Oh, please. Don't tell me you are so naive.”

I bared my fangs, charging towards her." Shut your trap, pussy. I am still your Luna."

She cowered. Sure enough, even if I was more like a discarded housewife, I was still the Luna. My hand was in the air when a shadow stepped between us. Not to protect me. To protect Selene from me.

Alec had an irritating scowl. “Go back to your room, Aria.”

My body went rigid, a bitter chuckle escaping. It was as if reality just got me. I took a heavy step back, my breath edgy. “The perfume. The nights you don’t come back. Is it true?”

He sighed, his hand running through his hair, the same irritating scowl perfectly sitting on his face. " Fine. It’s true. I’ve been with Selene for months. More than a year.”

I bite harder, tasting copper. I had expected denial but the truth hit harder. “You married me. And the vows?”

Alec didn't hesitate. He was flat, cruel and brutally honest. “I married your father’s land. I never needed you.”

His eyes didn't hide the disgust. His gaze was vicious, slow and deliberate. “I deserve a mate who looks the part. Someone pack-worthy. Not... this.”

Selene smiled. “She knew what she signed up for. Fat wolves don’t get alphas.”

Something inside me went quiet at those words, like a room everyone finally left.

My wolf, the one I’d been forcing to run and shrink for years, stopped clawing at the cage. It sat down. Looked at Alec. Looked at Selene. Then looked at me.

Her voice was faint. "Enough."

I didn’t scream. I just turned around and walked out of the room. Behind me, Alec said my name like it was a command.

" Aria, you don't have to be dramatic. You know no one will accept you."

I scoffed, with tears dropping like whirlwind on my cheeks. I ran across same hallway I eagerly passed through few minutes ago. My whole being was already tired.

Tired of it all.