What I Lost

ADRIENNE

I already signed the agreement to transfer ownership of the recipe with George.

Saffron, one of the backers of the regional culinary showcase, was a key investor in the event, and George had enough influence to move things behind the scenes. Knowing Eddie and Lydia would be participating through The Ember Table, he set up a confidentiality agreement just for me.

I would compete under a new identity, Seren and a mask throughout the showcase. At the right time, when the impact would be greatest, I would remove the mask and reveal myself. This was my idea and George loved it.

He was sure my fans would love it too.

Until then, only George would know who Seren really was.

The showcase was focused on culinary skill and presentation, so the mask was just another hook to draw viewers in. Other chefs were pulling their own stunts too. No one questioned it.

The name Seren was carefully chosen, symbolizing something bright that had been hidden too long. I really liked it. It felt like a small kind of rebirth. With everything in place, George walked me to the door.

“You’re really going through with this,” he said stated.

I shrugged “I am.”

He was quiet for a moment, studying me the way he sometimes did when we still used to be close. “And after the showcase? What then?”

I laughed. “One thing at a time, George.”

He chuckled and nodded. “But believe me when I say you look tired, Adrienne. I want to make sure you’re okay. I’m just… worried about you. Something you’ve not allowed me to be for the past three years.”

I forced a laugh again. “I fine, I promise.” I tilted my head. “Or I will be. After I’ve gotten back everything that was taken from me and built myself, I’m sure I’ll b fine. For now though, I’m going to see someone about that actually. A therapist.”

A look of surprise flashed across his face. “Do you want me to come with you?”

I waved away his concern. “Nope, I don’t honk I need you there to watch or hear while I lay myself bare. I’ll take care of myself,” I pointed to the files in his hands. “While you focus on taking care of all these.”

He grinned but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. What shown in his eyes was more pity than anything else and I was tired of seeing that.

Nodding, I turned and walked out into the afternoon.

My appointment had been pushed to the afternoon. The timing now felt just right. After a quick lunch, I headed to the clinic. I’d been here about a dozen times, but I was still running. I realized that now. Was I now tired of running?

I knocked softly on the door and waited.

“Come in.”

Dr. Nora Fields looked up from her notes the moment I stepped inside. A smile curled up her lips as she saw it was me. She almost looked genuinely happy to see me. “Adrienne,” she said softly. “It’s been a while.”

“I know.” I pulled the door shut behind me and sat down across from her. “I’m sorry for that.”

She shook her head, setting her pen down. “You don’t need to apologize. You’re here now. That’s the most important thing.”

That was the thing about Dr. Fields. She never made me feel guilty for disappearing. Never made me feel like I owed her an explanation. She simply picked up wherever we had left off, as though no time had passed at all.

“How have you been?” she asked.

I shrugged, thinking about the question. How have I been? The first answer that came to my mind was worse. But the truth was that I’d seen worse times and I’d survived it. Or did I really? “Actually, not great.”

Saying that, I felt a lump rise in my throat. I swallowed it back.

She nodded slowly. “What’s been happening in your life? Anything interesting?” she asked.

I knew she must have seen the latest drama involving me, Eddie and Lydia online but she chose not to mentioned it. Still I told her about it. I told her every single thing.

I told her about the engagement ending. About the hospital. About the competition and everything that had been moving at once. I told her about Arlene, about George, about the strange and suffocating feeling of standing in a room with Eddie and not being seen.

I told her almost everything.

Almost.

There were two things I left out.

The thing buried so deep I didn’t even have words for it yet.

And the pregnancy test.

Dr. Fields listened without interrupting once. When I finally stopped, the room settled into a quiet that didn’t feel uncomfortable.

“Adrienne,” she said after a moment, “I’d like to try something today. If you’re open to it.” She paused. “I’d like to try hypnosis. We’ve talked about it before but never gone through with it. I think now might be the right time.”

I frowned. “What would it do?”

“It helps us reach things that have been buried,” she said gently. “Things that are still shaping how we feel and respond without our realizing it.” She held my gaze. “I think there’s something you’ve been carrying for a very long time, Adrienne. Something we’ve never quite reached in our sessions.”

I thought about the lump in my throat that appeared every time I got too close to certain memories. The way my chest tightened on certain days for no good reason. The dreams I woke from with wet cheeks, trembling.

Maybe she was right.

“Okay,” I said quietly.

Dr. Fields rose and gestured toward the couch along the far wall.

I stood slowly and walked over, laid back with her guidance and closed my eyes. Her voice came was a breathy whisper, pulling me far away from the afternoon and the clinic and everything waiting for me outside.

And then, gradually, everything went dark.