Chapter 6 A Hard Decision

"Aria has just been for a full health check-up, Mum," Andrew smiled as he pulled me into his embrace. "But I'm sure she's happy to go with you if you need support," he added. I couldn't express how grateful I was to him for saving me from an uncomfortable situation.

However, Olivia looked at me, surprised. "What? Haven't you been well recently? Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"No, I was alright; it was just a regular check-up," I explained.

Olivia sighed. "Right, then you just come with me. I don’t like to go to these examinations alone," she said, and I felt relieved. I smiled and nodded at her. They kissed us both, and we stepped aside to watch the car disappear.

I looked at Andrew. "Thank you," I said, and he smiled at me, gently pulling me back into the house. 

After we got ready for bed, I made myself comfortable in Andrew's arms and fell asleep within a few minutes. 

In the morning, I was saddened to realise that Andrew wasn't there. I knew he had important duties, and I understood that he couldn't push his responsibilities aside for me all the time. 

After breakfast, I called Seraphina to plan the week. I didn't want to spend my days at home mourning my baby. 

Just as I finished the call, my phone rang again. It was Olivia. I quickly got ready and met her at the hospital. The staff there welcomed us warmly. I wasn’t worried about anyone mentioning my miscarriages since Andrew had asked the hospital staff to sign a confidentiality agreement after the first miscarriage regarding both of our health statuses and hospital visits. 

The examination didn't take long, and I was relieved when we were about to leave. However, at the last moment, Olivia asked me to have lunch with her in the city. Reluctantly, I agreed.

During lunch, she couldn't stop talking about how much she longed for a grandchild. She insisted that it wasn’t good for us to wait too long since we were young and at the perfect age to have a child. 

My heart ached, and it was hard to pretend that I was alright. Remembering the movie and the images from the trial, I did my best to conceal my feelings. 

I only broke down once I was finally in my room. I sat on the carpet and cried, releasing all my pain. 

It took about an hour to calm down, but even after I stopped crying, I kept reflecting on the situation. I recalled everything the doctor had told me about the treatment, and the familiar dilemma returned. Although discussing this with Andrew would have made things easier, my wolf held me back from sharing anything with him.

When Andrew returned home for dinner, I used makeup to cover the traces of my inner turmoil and tried to act normal. 

He asked me about the day I had spent with his mother. Not wanting to let him down, I told him I had a good time with Olivia.

As I stood in front of the mirror, naked after my shower, I stared at my reflection. My body was flawless, showing no trace of the three miscarriages I had endured. What would the treatment do to me? Would Andrew continue to love me if I lost this perfect shape?

“Aria?” I heard Andrew's voice from outside. He was ready for bed, waiting for me.

“I’ll be ready in a minute,” I shouted back as I quickly slipped on my nightgown.

When I walked out, Andrew smiled. “I thought you would never come,” he said, and I climbed into bed next to him, returning his smile.

“I’m here,” I whispered, kissing him lightly on the lips. But when I tried to pull away, he didn’t let me, and we continued kissing. I sensed his desire to be close, and while my body was ready, my soul wasn’t, so I pulled away.

“Andrew,” I whispered. “I’ve been thinking about what you said…” I paused, noticing the confusion on his face. “About taking a break.” His expression relaxed again, and he turned to the bedside table, pulling out a condom from the drawer.

“I thought you would say that,” he replied, as if my decision didn’t bother him at all. 

Even though I loved him deeply, I felt unprepared. I didn’t want to disappoint him, but I wasn’t sure if my fear of change from the treatment or a worry that he might dislike me for refusing him was influencing my thoughts. Closing my eyes, I allowed him to take me.

Our lovemaking didn’t last long, but after the first few kisses, I found myself lost in the moment, enjoying my connection with my husband.

Only in the morning, when I awoke alone in bed, did my darker thoughts return. Seraphina had sent me the plan she made, and I noticed she had scheduled visits only to places focused on caring for children. I hesitated to call her and ask for a new plan, not wanting anyone to suspect my heartache. So, I gritted my teeth and prepared for the day.

That day, I visited the orphanage, where adorable little pups surrounded me. I helped the caretakers feed them, and soon a tiny baby, just a few months old, fell asleep in my arms. Her little hand gripped my shirt sleeve, and her serene smile suggested she was in a pleasant dream. Knowing I had only one chance to experience motherhood broke my heart all over again, and I felt a wave of relief when I finally stepped out of the building.

I rushed back to my car and sat there for a while, deep in thought. Perhaps my imagination was getting the better of me, convincing me that change would mean losing my husband. But missing the treatment would surely ruin my life. I wanted to stay with Andrew, and I wanted to remain the Luna of North Hiltonwood.

I took a deep breath and picked up my phone, starting a call.

“Hello, Dr Bryan Parker speaking,” I heard the doctor’s voice on the other end.

“Hi, this is Mrs Lennox,” I replied.

“How may I help you, Luna?”

“I would like to go forward with the treatment,” I said.