Chapter 9: The Morning After

The morning sun poured into the bedroom window and harshly hit Layla's sleeping face. She groaned and rolled over to get out of the light. She had forgotten that Alistar was in her bed. She wanted to scream.

She wanted to believe that it all was a horrible dream. She would awake the day prior, without any mate, without any drama, without any heartache, and without any bother. But especially without the asshole who was snoring loudly beside her.

She groaned again, and buried her head under her pillow. She had no concrete plans for the day but she was already dreading them. She knew that she would have to familiarize herself with the Thundermoon pack. She would have to spend more time with Calista which she really did not want to do. She would have to start to learn about their customs and rituals. There was a lot to do in order to make this transition easy. Would their packs merge now because they were just mated, or would they merge after the death of her father? These were questions she wanted to hammer out but also feared that as per usual her father would try to shut her out.

After her mother left, Anthony had completely checked out. For the longest time, his Beta Frankford ran everything. Frankford was a kind man who didn't follow tradition as strongly as Anthony did. He saw the potential in Layla and took her under his wing. He taught her everything he knew and always gave her a seat at the table. He made sure she was educated. He encouraged her to speak her mind and share her ideas. He passed away suddenly when she was 15 years old. It was the saddest day of her life. He was like the father she never had and the mentor she had always wanted. Her father slowly took on more of his Alpha duties and begrudgingly allowed Layla to take on the duties of Luna. Lately, there was more Layla did for the pack that Anthony would ever acknowledge. The thought of leaving the pack behind broke her heart. She had worked so hard to keep everything together and she feared that there would be nothing left by the time of her father's passing.

Her mind slowly drifted off of the day's events and to Solomon. She wished that he was lying next to her instead of Alistar. She remembered the feeling of his arms around her and she swore she could smell him. She tried to remember the way his lips felt on hers. The feeling of his hands on her waist pulling her in towards him. The way he tasted. The way he felt. When she got so close to piecing it pleasantly all together in her mind, the image was replaced with him in his wolf form standing on the edge of the woods with the pained look in his eyes and the small whimper he let out before he left.

It was so hard for her to wrap her head around. He left. She was mated to someone else. He was gone. He left her. He chose his pack. And the worst thing of it all was that she completely understood. She did the same thing. She chose her father's pack. She couldn't hate him for it. Maybe they could have run off in the woods like her mother had done. Maybe they would have found a place that they could have all as their own. Maybe there wouldn't have been any retaliation. She wanted to be idealistic, believe that true love and true mates can conquer anything. But she wasn't idealistic. It was all too complicated and the ball moved too fast for her to really make out a good plan.

She felt the tears growing in her eyes and she tried to fight them back. She hated crying the most. It felt like defeat and she hated that feeling more than anything. She was defeated. But there was too much to do and too many people counted on her for her to give it another moment of her day. She wasn't going to let herself be defeated for much longer, she swore to herself. She just didn't know how hard it would be to fight that feeling off.

Alistar began to stir awake. She froze and held her breath. She hoped that he would think she was still asleep and leave her alone. He grabbed her like a child would grab a ragdoll and pulled her towards him. She was getting annoyed by his persistent grabbing and pulling. She didn't want to be touched. He was always touching her in some way or the other.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said sleepily.

"Can you stop touching me?" Her voice croaked. Her throat was sore from the sobbing she had done the night before and it was reflected in her voice. She tried to clear her throat but it didn't help.

"You smell so good," he ignored her request. "How is it that you smell so nice this early in the morning? Even your breath smells good."

"Can you stop touching me?" She repeated.

"This is so tiring, Layla. Why must you be so stubborn?" He groaned as he let go of her and rolled onto his back.

"Why must you be so stubborn?" She asked as she sat up.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Not yet. Let's stay here for a minute longer."

She rolled her eyes. "Why?"

"Why do you dislike me?"

"Why wouldn't I? You lied to my father. You basically forced me into this. You're in my bed. You're constantly touching me and grabbing at me. Why would I like that?"

Alistar squinted his eyes. "Why would I keep my hands off you? I'm a physical person. That's how I communicate. That's just who I am and you just have to get used to it."

"Well, I am not a physical person. Don't touch me." She sneered as she pushed him away.

"You are frustrating. It's intoxicating. You're going to like me. I know you are."

"You are frustrating. It's obnoxious. I don't want to like you. I know I won't."

Alistar laughed heartily as if she told the funniest joke if he ever heard. She wasn't joking. She was serious.

"You know what I dreamt about?" He asked flirtatiously.

"There is no way for me to know that."

He ignored her and continued, "I was dreaming about that kiss we shared last night." He rolled over towards her and ran his finger up and down her arm.

"I don't think that was worth dreaming about," she said bluntly without emotion. She could tell that he was trying to rile her up, she wasn't going to let him.

"I have to disagree with you," he said cockily.

She sighed. "I have had better kisses."

"With Riverwalker?" His tone was sharp. She could tell she had hit a nerve and a part of her was happy to do so. It felt dangerous like poking a bear and she liked it.

"Does it matter?" She wanted to see how far she could push him. It felt like she was pushing back on a choice she was forced to make.

He growled. "No, it doesn't as long as it wasn't him."

She laughed. "Why are you jealous?"

"Who said that I am? I'm not jealous of that short asshole."

"Sure." She paused. She wanted to tread lightly. She didn't know what he would do out of anger and she didn't really feel like finding that out this morning.

"Kiss me," he demanded. She scrunched her face. "Kiss me."

"I don't-" she began.

"I won't say it again," his tone was deep and intimidating. She froze. "Kiss me."

Her breath became shaky. Something inside of her started to stir. She was intrigued. He moved towards her slowly. She didn't realize that she was also moving towards him. She felt like she was floating outside of her body and was watching from above. It was uncontrollable. She closed her eyes. He kissed her deeply and passionately. It was electric. Her body responded to his kiss in a way that was unfamiliar to her and was completely different from how she responded to Solomon's kisses.

Her hands moved towards his body and pulled him towards her. What started as a kiss developed into multiple kisses that expanded down her neck and towards her breast. She moaned. Every part of her body wanted Alistar to continue but every thought in her head was of Solomon. She couldn't understand how someone so vile could elicit such a reaction from her. She was ashamed of herself for how good it felt.

"Do you want me to stop?" Alistar huskily whispered in her ear.

She was torn. Her mind was racing. He asked her again as he looked her in the eyes, "do you want me to stop?" She scanned his face. He ran his hand down her side. She shook her head no. "Tell me you don't want me to stop," he said as his hand moved to the inside of her thigh.

"Oh my Goddess, you are annoying," she moaned.

"You don't have to like me to do this. It might be better if you don't," he said.

"I don't like you," she panted as he continued to kiss her neck. His hand slowly inched up her inner thigh.

"Tell me you don't want me to stop." He repeated firmly.

"Stop telling me what to do." She shot back. Her hands began to explore his body.

He quickly grabbed her arms and pinned them over her head. "Tell me that you don't want me to stop."

"I, I don't want you to stop," she said softly. She felt guilty immediately but she tried to push it down. Solomon wasn't there. He made his choice, she made hers. This was a part of it. She tried to not think of how they both were with other people the day before. She tried not to think of how those other people would feel about it.

Alistar kissed her again and let go of her arms. She quickly began to pull his shirt off over his head. In the morning sun she could see all of the silver scars that adorned his body. His scars looked remarkably like hers. She ran her fingers softly across the largest scar that ran from under his collar bone diagonally to his ribs. He moaned.

"Take this off," he said as he pulled on her underdress. She did as she was told. He paused and looked over her body. "Goddess, you're so beautiful."

She ignored the compliment. She wasn't going to allow herself to be caught up in the sentimentality of it. This was animalistic. This was mating. This wasn't love.

"Are you going to keep those on?" She asked as she gestured to his pants.

He flashed a satisfied smile. "I didn't really think we would be doing this," he said excitedly as he awkwardly took off his pants.

"Then maybe it's a bad idea." She replied.

"No! No! It's not. Forget what I said," he implored as he kicked his pants across the room. He had a little more to work with than Solomon. She hated herself for noticing and for being excited by the fact. A switch inside her head went ff and a part of herself she had never explored turned on. She felt empowered and desired. She wanted to use him as much as he was going to use her.

She smiled seductively towards him, "consider it forgotten. Come here."

"F*ck," he moaned as he climbed on top of her. "Goddess, you're so sexy," he said between kisses.

She pushed him onto his back and straddled him, "You have no idea."