Chapter 19: The Beast Within

Nathan

Something wasn’t right. She wasn’t back yet.

It had been hours since Kaima ran out of the pack house, and every second knowing she was out there alone broke something inside me. I tried to stay calm. I tried to listen to Elizabeth speak, but everything she was saying felt like noise.

I wasn’t even sure what happened before Kaima walked into the room. It felt like I was in a bubble—seeing her, inhaling her scent broke me out of it.

I felt my beast clawing its way out, and I wasn’t going to stop it this time. I clenched my fists as rage ran through me.

“She’s not a child, Nathan. I know she’s part of the pack, but I don’t see why you’re this worried. She’s going to be back,” Elizabeth said from the bed. She patted the empty space next to her. “Come lie down,” she added seductively.

I didn’t reply. My jaw was so tight it hurt. Zade was pacing in my head, his anger feeding mine. I felt his fury, but it was no match for my own. I knew I wasn’t just Nathan anymore. I was both man and beast and I wasn’t afraid to cross the line tonight.

She wasn’t fine. I could feel it, but I didn’t know how.

Her scent lingered faintly in the air, mixing with the cold night wind. She had shifted. That was how I was going to find her. It felt like I could feel her pain; my chest ached because I hurt her. This was all my damn fault.

I sniffed the air and, without a word, started walking toward the door.

Elizabeth rushed out of the bed and called behind me as I walked out of the room, but her voice felt like background noise.

The moment I stepped outside, the cold night air hit me hard, but it did nothing to soothe the rage within.

The air carried her scent, and I followed it into a bar in town.

The moment I stepped into the bar, the sound, the smell—everything hit me like a wave. Zade snarled inside of me when I saw her.

Kaima.

She was sitting at the counter, laughing or trying to, at least. She was completely drunk, her cheeks flushed, her eyes glossy, her speech slurred. The bartender leaned too close, brushing his hand along her arm, his gaze nowhere near respectful.

I felt something inside me snap.

Before anyone could blink, I was across the room in a blur. My hand wrapped around the bartender’s neck and I lifted him off the ground with one arm.

“You touch her again,” I said, my voice raw, not sounding human anymore, “and I will tear you apart. Do you understand me?”

He tried to free himself, gasping for air. I flung him—he hit the wall behind the counter, bottles shattering as he slipped down, dazed and terrified.

The entire bar watched in silent horror, but I didn’t care.

Kaima blinked up at me in confusion, her lips parting in a slow, lazy smile. “Na… Nathan,” she said drunkenly. “Why are you here? Oh, I know…” Her eyes lit up. “You came here to drink too!”

I exhaled, shaking my head, forcing the beast inside me to calm down. She was drunk. So… so… drunk.

I bent down, scooping her up in my arms like she weighed nothing. She giggled, her fingers brushing against my jaw. “You’re not just strong… you’re so handsome,” she mumbled, her voice soft and messy. “Do you know… do you know I like you? Like really, really like you.” Then her voice lowered, “but you don’t like me.”

I felt the pain in her voice. My chest tightened painfully.

She kept talking as I carried her out. She laughed to herself, but I still saw the darkness, the tears in her eyes. “Every time I see you, my heart goes boom,” she laughed. “It’s so stupid. You have a mate, and I know you’ll never belong to me. But seeing you makes me so happy and I can’t stop what I feel, and I don’t want to feel it anymore. It hurts. It hurts.” she shook her head like a child who was denied candy.

I swallowed hard, my chest tightening. Every word she said felt like a blow to the gut.

When I reached the car, I opened the driver’s seat to set her down, but she stopped me, her small hands gripping my shirt tightly. Her eyes, those beautiful green eyes locked on mine.

“Kiss me…” she whispered. “Please, Nathan. Kiss me.”

My breath caught in my throat as I tried so hard to resist this seductress in front of me. Zade wasn't helping matters either. “Kaima… you’re drunk, and you don’t know what you’re even saying.” I managed to say my voice so husky. An evidence of the battle I was fighting within me.

She smiled and leaned closer, her scent turning my brain. “I know exactly what I’m saying, Alpha Nathan.” she purred, running her tongue slowly on her lower lips.

Goddess.

I tried to look away. I had to resist, but it was so hard. Her scent clogged all my senses. The way her lips trembled I couldn’t resist, even with how hard I tried.

In a flash, I smashed my lips on hers and she purred in satisfaction.

The moment our lips met, I felt her warmth. She tasted of whiskey. It consumed me. The beast inside me roared in satisfaction, finally unleashed after being caged for too long. I deepened the kiss, one hand cupping her face, the other gripping the edge of the seat like my life depended on it.

When I pulled back, she looked at me still drunk and in a daze. “Nathan… make love to me, please. I want you.” She tugged at my shirt.

Fuck.

“Kaima… no,” I tried. With difficulty I turned my chest away from her, still breathing heavily from the kiss. She was drunk. She wasn’t mine. I couldn’t touch her. That will mean me taking advantage of her. 

As much as I wanted her so badly it felt painful, I couldn't. Not while she was drunk.

I brushed a strand of hair from her face, whispering against her forehead. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

Tears glistened in her eyes. “I want to be yours,” she muttered, before her eyes closed and sleep took over.

I stood there just watching her, my body frozen. My heart pounding so fast at her words. I knew I had my mate, Elizabeth, but I’d never wanted anyone, not even her as much as I wanted Kaima.

I felt my beast getting harder and harder to keep under control, but I didn’t blame him.

Because the truth was, I wanted her too—more than I ever should.

This was wrong. 

But the question I keep asking…why does it feel so right?