Chapter 2

A slow melody fills my ears when the intro of the song starts. This instrumental fits in sad plus meaningful lyrics and I’m going to do it. I hope that this song will be a bop but before I start, I tap my phone to stop the music and grab my mic beside my desk then open my tablet to record my voice if ever the lyrics will be good.

Once I’m done setting it all up, I play the song again and tap the record button. I close my eyes and let myself sway in the music.

Hold me, kiss me,

I miss your touch and I can’t breathe.

This feeling, I can’t take it anymore

While singing it, my heart aches. I remember the happy memories I have with my family and it breaks my heart that the family I had disappeared in just a snap. I still can’t believe that it’s not the same way as before. How did we end up here?

Your voice and your scent are driving me crazy.

Please, I need you in my life yeah

Even if they left me, I can still remember how they care about me and it’s driving me freaking crazy. I need them so much that I can’t even move forward to chase my dream. All I can feel now is loneliness and bitterness. I can’t help but be proud of myself because of how strong I am even if everything’s going to tear up.

Can you hear it?

The great of my heart whenever you stare at me.

Can you feel it?

I always admire you from afar.

My only dream is to have a complete family and happy life but it’s too impossible because it’s now too late. If only I could change the past, I think, I will be happy. We will be happy.

But what can I do?

You keep on ignoring me.

If only I could tell, I would do that.

I won’t regret it, at least I try my best.

I tried to get their attention, at least but I fail. I shook my head and clench my hand into a fist. There are so many what-ifs in my mind but I know, it can’t change the future.

How many times do I need to stop this feeling?

I can’t move forward.

All I can see, are the memories we had.

I never knew that this will be the last.

If only I became strong,

I think everything will come back.

But there’s a reason,

And I hope that it is valid.

“Hey,” I greet Serene who’s now chewing a gum. Ever since we met, she always has her gum inside her bag. It’s one of her coping whenever she has a problem. She looks at me and smiles a little so I hug her.

She caresses my back and taps it slowly, “Are you okay?” She let go of me and we’re now facing each other. I let out a little smile to give her assurance that I’m indeed okay.

“Just tell it to us if you’re ready. We’re always here,” she said and open the door in the backseat. Due to curiosity, my forehead creased. I use to be in the front seat but then I shrug my shoulder and didn’t ask her a question since it is her privacy when I enter the car and sit in the back seat, I saw Gavin in the driver’s seat which made me more confused.

“Hi,” I greeted but he just nod his head and waited for Serene to sit. He’s looking out the window until Serene opens the door. Okay? What’s happening here?

“Since when did you two become close?” I ask out of the blue when they keep on talking about the song that Katty and him composed.

Serene look away the moment I ask her and decided to stare at the window. We’re now heading to school and these two keeps on bugging me because I don’t know what’s going on between them. When I met them, they were like a cat and dog that keeps on arguing about simple things but now? The he.ll! It feels weird.

“Just now,” Gavin said and turn the steering wheel to the right. His eyes were focused on the road while Serene didn’t answer my question. I don’t know what’s going on but I hope, it’s for the best and it will continue.

Gavin open the door and when we entered, we saw our bandmates. Katty was so focused on writing some lyrics in her notes. I bet, she composed another song. I admired Katty for being good at writing some meaningful lyrics. It’s like, every minute, she’ll finish a lyrics.

I glance at Shaun who is now looking at me while holding his electric guitar and trying to make a beautiful sound on it. His blue eyes didn’t leave me until I sat down. I can’t even read his eyes because I’m not good at it. The only thing I know is his lips formed a smile.

My forehead creased when I saw him grin from ear to ear but his face became serious all of a sudden and he even raised his eyebrow at me, asking if there was something wrong. What the?! I should be the one asking that! He’s always been like this, staring at me but didn’t dare to talk to me or ask me. Because of that, we didn’t become that close but I still wanted him to approach me.

Serene instantly claps her hands as if she’s making a beat. Shaun made a loud noise on his electric guitar to join Serene’s clap while Gavin went to his drum set and sat there. He placed his right foot on the bass pedal and start making noise on the bass drum to follow Serene’s clap and Shaun’s electric guitar.

Katty cleared her throat and look at the lyrics she made. Is this the song that Serene’s talking about?