prologue

I closed my eyes and felt the hot wind of New York City kiss my cheeks. I watched beautiful couples walk down the seashore with pretty smiles and contentedly holding each other's hands. It was perfect scenery, but not for someone who tried so hard to push the man away whom she loved so much.

"Hey, pretty. What are you doing all alone here?" said a sweet voice.

"Stop with the teasing and come grab Lance for me?" I teased with her same sarcastic voice. Max, my best friend since God knows when frowned at me and rolled her eyes.

"Maybe you remembered something or someone while looking at clouds, huh, Iris?" She smirked and lay down next to me using her white thin blanket. The sand was beautiful but itchy at the same time.

I sighed heavily, "Will you stop ruining my day, Max? Seriously, this vacation would be better without your stupid remarks." I rolled my eyes and put down my sunglasses.

I'm not stupid. I made decisions that I knew would benefit both of us. And I'm not talking about Max.

"Want some coconut, Iris?" Max asked while a guy was already waiting for her. I just nodded and took out a cigarette.

Damn, can this day get any worse? I've seen couples kiss and make out in the sea. Wasn't helping that Max is out with a guy she didn't even know. I sighed and looked at the clouds; it felt like the world couldn't stop teasing me. My eyes were glued to the sky, watching an airplane fly by. It wasn't new. This is New York for heaven's sake! But with all the couples in front of me, I can't help but think of someone who left 3 years ago.

"Mom?" I heard Lily looking for me, so I stood up and waved my hands so she could see me.

I smiled as I watched her little legs run toward me. She had sand all over her body and her hair was dry because of the salty air. Her cute pink swimsuit was covered with sand and a few small rocks. She laughed and hugged my perfectly tanned legs. I caressed her hair while she was busy rubbing sand all over my feet.

"You look like a sand monster, Mom!" She giggled sweetly and continued to throw sand on my feet. I chuckled and grabbed my camera.

These are the moments I live for. I did what's best to protect both his dreams and my child. I know he would blame me, but he can't fault me alone.

"Look at them, Mom! When will Dad visit me, too?"