Chapter 3

Between the rocking of the boat, the pressure on her back, the rag in her mouth and the backwards curve to her spine it did not take long for Eleanor to become nauseous. Her fear shifted from drowning to the more imminent possibility of vomiting with a cloth shoved in her mouth and choking to death. She moved her jaw and tongue, trying desperately to dislodge the fabric, but it only made her feel worse. Her stomach heaved and her body spasmed, causing her face to smack into the wooden boards beneath her. She heard the man curse. His foot lifted off her back, then his hand grabbed her side and rolled her over onto her back.

“If you promise not to scream, I’ll free your mouth and sit you upright.” She nodded. Screaming would do her no good in the middle of the sea anyways. He settled her on the floor at his feet and pulled the fabric from her face. Eleanor took a deep breath of the cool salty air and closed her eyes before letting the air back out again. Instantly she felt better, though her stomach was not completely ready to settle yet. “There. Now tell me, lass,” the man said as he resumed rowing, “why is it you would not do as I was told to expect? Why did you fight me rescuing you despite hearing the secret phrase from your family that tells you I am who I say?”

“You are assuming I wanted rescuing.”

“Why do you believe you did not need to be rescued?”

" I was happily going with Liam."

"You were happy to be abducted from the abbey?"

"Well, no. Or yes. Well not at first, but then Liam rescued me from the barbarians and then I was content enough."

"That man was known to you?"

“Yes. My father sent him to court me."

"Who told you this?"

"Liam did.”

“I was not aware women could be courted in an abbey.”

“When my father left me there he said that when I was older he would send some suitors to meet me. He promised that if I behaved during my time there, then when I turned twenty, I could choose from the men that he would send

here to meet me. I was not surprised when Liam came. My birthday is approaching so I was expecting he would send more soon.”

“He didn’t?”

“It was only a couple weeks after Liam’s first visit that I was abducted.”

“How did that happen?”

“On my way to prayers, some barbarians surprised me in the garden and suddenly I found myself on a boat! They shoved me in a box and began nailing the lid on.”

“That must have been frightening.”

“Well, yes. Quite. But there were holes I could see the sky out of, and I was not there too horribly long before I heard the sounds of fighting, and when the lid was pried off again Liam was there with some of his warriors. They got me on a different boat and we ended up on that island. The others left Liam and me there while they went to get a better boat so we could travel safely to my home. Liam planned to ask for my hand once we got there.”

“I thought you wanted to choose your husband.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, that was certainly not likely after the abduction. I have no doubt my father will agree to Liam’s request. It will be the least father could do to reward Liam for having rescued me. Don't you think?”

“Certainly,” Fann said, though having seen Liam attempting to hunt a lizard he doubted the man had done much of the tracking or fighting. If any had actually occurred.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Of what,” Fann asked, wondering if he had spoken his hunch out loud.

“Were you also sent to meet with me as a suitor?”

“Not a suitor, no.”

“But you knew the pass.”

“I was sent to bring you home.”

“To wed?”

Not exactly he thought, but he answered, “you are of age.”

“Obviously. Most girls are wed before twenty, but my mother has always believed that the reason so many women die in childbirth is that they are forced to have bairns before their bodies have come fully into womanhood. She told me that before she would wed him she made my father promise that her daughters would not be wed until just before their majority. He put it in the marriage contract to please her. None of her daughters would be wed until we were at least eight and ten. She said he worried no man would want us by then but she insisted.”

Fann rowed in silence letting that idea sink in. It was true that many young lasses died giving birth. It did seem to be many more of the very young ones than those just a few years older. Perhaps her mother had been wise. He would have to think about that for any daughters that he had. No doubt his wife would want the same arrangement for their daughters anyways.

“I do hope Liam comes to the keep looking for me. He must be quite worried. Will you not consider returning to get him?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Did he know the passphrase?” Eleanor nibbled on her lip. “I thought not. I was sent to bring you home. He was not.”

“He did not have time to get the pass from father! He said he had fallen in love with me during our visits and was so distraught that he rushed out after me as soon as he learned of my abduction.”

“Should he not have known it to come courting you?”

“I was told the pass would be given only by those sent to bring me home. I didn't expect my suitors to be acquainted with it.”

"How did you know your father sent Liam?"

"He told me so. And the nuns let me see him. They would not have done that otherwise."

“Did you ever write your parents and ask if they had sent Liam, or if they were sending other suitors for you?”

“Yes. But they didn't answer.” She twisted slightly inside the tightly wrapped shawl. Her shoulders were aching, but she expected the tightness of the wrap was the only reason she was not cold. Opening the shawl would allow her more movement, but it would also allow the cool air in. She wasn’t certain she wanted him to loosen it just yet.

“You did not want more men to choose from? I’d think if, given the option, most women would like to choose their husband.”

“Well, yes. Having lived so long in the abbey with so many rules and restrictions, I was really hoping to be able to make some choices about my future. I doubted there would be many, but I had hoped my father would keep his word and send a few suitors for me to choose between.”

"He had promised a choice after all."

“Yes, he did. I had discussed this with Liam before my abduction. He said he would speak to my father personally about sending more suitors.”

“A man who claimed to be falling in love with you said he would ask your father to send you more suitors and you believed he would?”

“It was a rather long conversation. He understood how trapped I felt in the abbey, and with life in general giving so few options to women. He assured me that as his wife I would have the freedom I wanted. He would not dictate. I told him that if that were the case I would choose him to wed, even if there were others sent to meet me. I knew most of the men my father sent would want quiet, obedient wives, since that is what sequestered wives are expected to be, and I don't see myself being happy that way."

"You are not quiet and obedient?"

"The nuns were constantly telling me to hold my tongue, and I really am not very happy in silence. I was obedient enough in the abbey, given little chance for anything else.”

Fann leaned into his oars wondering how much obedience he expected from her.

“Aside from talking, what sort of things do you want the freedom to do?”

“Well, I want to be able to choose my own food and clothing. I want to learn to ride a horse and maybe even shoot a bow and arrow. I want to read all sorts of different books, not just the bible or books about plants, I want to pick wildflowers and go on picnics and...well just decide for myself how to spend my time. There is very little leisure, amusement, or conversation to be found in an abbey and I have missed all that for too many years.”

“What do you want from your husband?”

“I would be happy to find a husband who would talk with me, or at least be content to listen while I talk and not ask me to hold my tongue. Someone who does not talk only about himself. And I want to be able to refuse to couple when I don’t want to.” Finn nearly dropped the oars at her frank conversation. Most ladies he knew would not discuss marital relations with anyone. Courtesans, but not ladies. Certainly not with a stranger.

“Oh my,” Eleanor said, “I’ve shocked you. I am sorry. The nuns are always saying I talk too much and bring up topics I shouldn’t.”

“You can talk to me about anything, Eleanor. Anytime. I was just surprised that you would bring up marital relations, but I do not mind if you wish to talk about them.”

“Really? Even the nuns get flustered with my questions. They say it will be my husband’s job to teach me about that and I should just hold my tongue and lie abed, waiting for him to do as he pleases with me or to tell me what he wants me to do.”

“Is that all they said?”

“Yes.

They said it will be my duty to submit to my husband's demands without complaint. As if that would make me ask fewer questions.”

“Their answers did not satisfy your curiosity?"

"Not ever. No matter the topic, but especially that one."

"Did you consider that perhaps they answer that way because they don’t know the answers?"

"The nuns are very well educated. They tend to the sick, they read, and they pray. That's all they do."

"Well, I don’t imagine there are many nuns with experience coupling. At least not the ones who would be allowed to talk with a young lady. I'm not a very religious man, but as far as I know, God is only said to have fathered one bairn, yet all nuns are called the brides of Christ, so I doubt they know the way of coupling with a man. Unless they took their vows out of necessity, but as I said, those nuns are usually set to care for pregnant women, not young maidens.”

Eleanor stared at him, her mouth hanging open for a moment. “You know, you may be right. I never thought of that.”

“Have you considered the fact that you are now discussing coupling with a male stranger before even asking his name?”

Eleanor blinked at him and blushed. “Oh. I suppose... I mean I...” She sighed. “I was not actually allowed to talk to many people at the abbey. They kept me away from all the visitors and even when no visitors were there I was usually told to be silent so my constant chatter would not distract them from their work.” After a few moments she asked, “will you please forgive my poor manners and tell me your name?”

“Fann.”

“Fan? As in the fabric or feathers that wealthy women wave in front of themselves when they pass gas?” Fann’s bark of laughter made her jump.

“Do you speak no Scots lass?”

“Little. The sisters spoke only English and Latin. I was punished if I spoke in Scots there, so I stopped. They even corrected my accent more often than not. My father wanted me to sound English, so that is what they had me become.” Fann ground his teeth and took a deep breath to rid himself of anger before he spoke again.

“Fann means fierce in Scotts. The pronunciation and spelling are both slightly different from the fan English courtiers use.

“I see,” She shifted again and looked out over the water.

"Why do you think you would not want to couple with your husband?"

"The nuns say it is an act I must endure. That no matter what he wishes to do to my body, or tells me to do to his, I must suffer it without complaint. I realize we will have to couple to provide an heir, but..." she squirmed with embarrassment. "Women have little enough choices in life. We ought to at least have a say as to what happens to our bodies.”

“But if you have never tried coupling, how do you know you won’t enjoy it?”

“Perhaps I just do not know the way of it. As you said, the nuns may be mistaken."

"They are."

"How do you know?"

"Coupling is pleasurable to both parties when they are agreeable to it."

"You have coupled with women and they enjoyed it?" Eleanor felt her face burn red and covered it with her hands. "Pray, do not answer that." Fann grinned but held back his answer as she'd requested. It surprised him that he enjoyed this banter with his wife. He'd never thought about what it would be like to converse with her. Unsurprisingly, Eleanor was the one to break the silence and change the topic. "How long will we be at sea?”

“We should reach the mainland before dusk.”

“You will row all the way to Scotia in a day?”

“We are too far south for that lass. We are further from Scotia now than you were at the abbey. Liam was either lost or taking you to someplace in England. We will reach the mainland, then make our way to MacDonald by whatever means will get us there the quickest with the least risk to your safety.”

“If we are so close to the mainland, why did he send his men off to get us a bigger vessel?”

“If he follows us to the keep, you can ask him.”