She watched as the sadness in his eyes ebbed, his answering smile forming. He nudged the toe of her shoe in return, a gleam of hope in his eyes. The smell of pork noodles and dumplings drifted before her on the twilight breeze, reminding her why they were outside to begin with. Her eyes shifted to the food boxes, then back to Derek. The board fell from her lap as she made an eating gesture, a hunger in her eyes. Derek chuckled and nodded enthusiastically. The noodles and the pork tasted heavenly to Ashlyn's empty stomach and the glass of red wine that Derek poured only made it better. They spoke briefly around the food they shoveled down, both as ravenous as the other. "Alright. Since we're supposed to be studying, how do I say, 'that was delicious?'" Derek asked, moving the containers aside and stretching his legs out. Ashlyn demonstrated, finishing the statement by touching the tip of her middle finger to her lips, then moving that same hand up, twisting it, so the palm faced f
For the next two weeks, Ashlyn and Derek continued to meet after work to work on his sign language skills. Derek was picking it up quicker than she'd thought he would. He'd even admitted to doing his own study each day because he wanted to be able to communicate with her. His tenacity in that regard was to be revered.After the intensity of that first night, Ashlyn made sure to establish some clear boundaries with Derek to prevent it from happening again. With that in mind, they'd made sure to study in public places; the library, the park, Salt. Anywhere that people's watchful eyes would keep her from acting on the foreign thoughts she'd been having.If it hadn't been for Kass disturbing their moment that night, then things would have been a lot more difficult to claw back. At least now, it was just her impulses that she had to keep in check, and not an act itself.The nights that she could wrangle Kass or Abel into helping were even better. Often, however, they made a last-minute
When she drew near to the pier, she was surprised at how busy it was. Several people sat along the railings, their lines cast into the waters below, while others enjoyed their coffee and friendly company. Her eyes danced across the moving bodies, searching for the one that she'd come to see. A burst of rich laughter, smooth as honey, rose above the other noises around her, and her steps came to a halt. She would have recognized that laugh anywhere. Guided by its sound, she moved towards it, her body floating across the pavement. The laughter faded, and she came to a stop. Standing on the tips of her toes, she craned her neck, her eyes falling on a group of men gathered in the middle. She was sure that she saw a net at their feet. That had to be them. Several of the men laughed again, Derek included. The sound wrapped itself around her like a warm hug, and she couldn't help the smile it inspired from her. In the middle of the gathering, Ashlyn spotted him, and her heart skipped a be
Ashlyn huffed, the door not slamming hard enough behind her when she entered Salt.Several patrons glanced up from their afternoon meals, but the distraught look on Ashlyn's face mixed with all the dried tear stains must have been something quite disconcerting, for they all glanced away. The food on the plates before them had never been more exciting than at that moment.Avoiding meeting the eyes of anyone, Ashlyn moved past the counter, down the corridor, and towards the back door, her legs not moving fast enough to beat the fresh tears she'd been holding back."Ash," Kass called, her head poking from the kitchen as she passed. Ashlyn ignored her. The sound of her shoes tapping on the floor, the only sound she was interested in. When another pair of trainers squeaked against the floor behind her, Ashlyn paid it little mind. She had to get out of there. The walls were closing in, and she couldn't breathe.Twice she tripped and had to catch herself against the wall. The aching in h
He knows everything now."I don't think I understand what the problem is. Isn't him knowing everything a good thing? Otherwise, what would your friendship stand on?" Kass asked, rubbing her forehead.Ashlyn turned and leaned against the back wall of Salt. She was doing a terrible job of explaining the mess that consumed her brain.Because why would he be interested now that he knows what a trainwreck I am? I'm a complication, a puzzle that no one can solve. His time and energy are better spent elsewhere, she answered, realizing how ridiculous her excuse sounded when she voiced it. She hated being seen as a hindrance or as anything but ordinary. Yet, here she was labeling herself as such to justify her actions."You're self-sabotaging."I'm not, I'm just... she started to defend herself, but she couldn't come up with a good argument. She was self-sabotaging. Kass was right. She'd seen an opportunity to withdraw and protect herself before things could become too serious, and so she
Derek stepped slowly towards her, his eyes never straying from hers as he seemed to assess the situation and whether his approach was welcomed.Ashlyn turned away and began picking at her nails, her face hidden in shame.Like a magic apparition, she'd thought about him, and suddenly he was there, and everything that she wanted to say was lost in the tension between them. She wasn't sure that she could do this, now that he was here. What if Kass was wrong? What if he was here to call it off, whatever it was?The fear that he already knew what she wanted to say, that he'd heard Kass' conversation while he lurked in the shadows, turned in her stomach. If she weren't already too ashamed, she would have bent over one of the bins and released that acidic fear. But even that was trapped inside, riding on how this next conversation went.Her hands had a subtle tremor about them, the color of her nails almost completely chipped away. She could hear Derek shift behind her, his steps slowly
But, the guy on the pier? She asked with confusion."He mentioned that something happened and that you didn't go near it anymore. I connected some dots." He shrugged. "I don't blame you for being hesitant around it, or even the ocean after what happened, Ash. We all have fears, and sometimes they take a little more time to overcome."I don't think I can overcome this one, she sighed, looking away. He placed a hand on her knee."You can." He spoke with certainty. Her smile was awkward in response, not quite sure she was ready for that conversation just yet. With some time, maybe she'd be ready.So, what exactly do you know? She asked, changing the subject."You lost your Father, who you loved dearly, and you haven't stopped grieving." Though he spoke with a sadness in his voice and did well to hide his judgments, his words still filled her with a sense of guilt, like she should've been over this by now. Perhaps he was right, but he didn't understand how it felt to lose someone lik
They'd been driving for almost an hour, and still, Ashlyn didn't know where it was that they were going. She'd tried asking after they'd passed the familiar highways in turn for forests and bumpy roads, but Derek had refused to say much, instead just offering a cheeky grin as his answer.It required more effort than she'd thought to relinquish control of the situation and trust that he knew where he was going. That would have been easier if she hadn't watched twice as he looked at the road signs with confusion.For all she knew, he'd taken a wrong turn, and they were about to become lost in the forests of Maine with the bears and the moose, and whatever other nasty critters lurked in the woodlands. Fortunately, she'd been smart enough to retrieve her phone from the cafe before they'd left. Not that it would have been much use, she realized when she checked it, the red battery light glaring at her.She placed it back on the console and took a deep breath, reminding herself that she