When There's No Light, Be Your Own Sun

Logan's Point-of-View

Seeing how upset I was, Piper Ashton softened her tone. "Relax. Long distance won't change anything between us. Branton isn't that far from Kellerton. I'll come visit whenever I can."

She reached for my hand. "Stop sulking. Your parents are waiting for us inside. Let's go eat."

I looked down at her slender fingers laced through mine and thought of the photo in the group chat. Those same hands had been wrapped around Corey's neck while she kissed him like she meant it, like she couldn't get enough.

It made me sick. I pulled my hand free and wiped it on my jeans.

She flinched, but before she could say anything, Corey Hollis opened the front door.

Her face brightened instantly. "Congratulations on getting into Branton Arts, Corey."

He smiled back, seeming almost shy. "Thanks, Piper."

Their eyes met, and they both went red, probably remembering the kiss from the night before.

Mom came out carrying dishes and broke the moment. "Our Corey is such a go-getter. I heard the interviewers couldn't stop raving about how talented he is."

She shot me a look. "Unlike someone who just buries his nose in textbooks. After repeating a whole year, all he managed was some no-name school. It's so embarrassing."

Dad chimed in from the chess table without looking up. "When coworkers ask how my kids did, I'm too embarrassed to even bring you up. You all grew up in the same house with the same parents. How'd you turn out so different?"

My older sister, Sabrina Hollis, was the one playing against him. She let out a little laugh. "Every family's got a star and a dud."

The whole room laughed, Piper included.

My eyes stung. They used to call me slow. They used to say I'd never measure up to Corey. Piper always took my side back then. She always built me back up.

I didn't know when that had changed and when she'd quietly become one of them.

Her betrayal cut the deepest because I'd actually believed she was different. It was like being parched for years and finally getting a drink, only to watch it slip through my fingers. Losing something I'd actually held hurt worse than never having it at all.

I swallowed the bitterness and sat down without a word. One look at the table and my chest tightened all over again.

The table was loaded with maple-glazed ham, candied sweet potatoes, and peach cobbler. Every dish was Corey's favorite. Nobody remembered that I hated sweet food.

I should have been used to it by now. I was the middle child, with an overachieving older sister and a talented, good-looking younger brother. For as long as I could remember, I was the one who got overlooked.

I pushed my food around my plate and watched them laugh and talk. Sabrina was already in grad school in Branton. Now Piper was following Corey there.

My parents were thrilled, going on about how wonderful it would be to have three kids in the same city, all looking out for each other. Nobody asked whether I'd be lonely in Kellerton by myself. Nobody even knew what I'd scored on the exam.

I left the table early and sat on the couch with the television on. Still, nobody noticed.

When they finally finished eating, a dish rag landed in my lap. "We're taking Corey to see a show. Stay here and do the dishes."

Mom said it like it wasn't even a question.

Corey blinked. "Maybe we could wait for Logan to finish? That way, he could come with us."

"You're too sweet for your own good." Sabrina ruffled his hair.

"He wouldn't even get it. What's the point of bringing him?"

Dad waved Piper over. "Piper, why don't you come along too? We can chat about that investment deal your father mentioned."

Piper hesitated for half a second. Then, Corey flashed her a smile, and that was all it took. She glanced at me once, then walked out with the rest of them.

The front door closed. Their footsteps faded down the hall, and I was left alone with dirty dishes and silence.

It barely registered. It wasn't the first time I'd been left behind.

When I was nine, Dad drove Sabrina to her math competition class, and Mom took Corey to his piano lesson one weekend. They left me locked on the balcony. It was July and well over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

I screamed until my voice gave out and passed out from heatstroke. When I came to, nobody apologized or even checked on me. They blamed me instead, and said I was stupid for not thinking to yell for the neighbors.

That kind of thing never stopped, not once in 18 years.

I used to think it was because I wasn't good enough, that if I just tried harder they'd finally see me. Eventually I understood that they didn't care whether I was good enough or not. They just didn't love me.

I took a deep breath. I didn't touch the dishes. Instead, I pulled out my phone and called my guidance counselor, Taylor Kensington.

"Mr. Kensington, is the spot for that study abroad scholarship still open? I changed my mind. I want to go."

He was ecstatic. "Logan! You finally came around!"

After I hung up, I found the globe on my desk and traced my finger to the country I was about to leave for.

I'd made up my mind. If nobody here cared about me, I'd go somewhere even farther than Kellerton.

If they didn't love me, then I'd stop loving them too.